I'm so tired, I don't want to go to sleep because I'll dream about him

[CoCo2009]

I can't ever sleep anymore. I dream about him over and over and over. Last night I dreamed about him all night and I was talking to him and I missed him so much. When I woke up I just started to cry. It hurt so bad because I miss him and I want to talk to him. It hurts so bad. When I'm not dreaming about him I am having all of these horrible vivid dreams of death..creepy stuff. I don't know whats going on with me. I'm so tired but I'm scared to sleep, I don't want to sleep. I don't know what to do.

[pivotal]

Par for the course.

 

Dreams may occur for a lifetime.

 

Get proper sleep, it will help your mood dramatically.

[CoCo2009]

thats the problem though, I wake up tired because I dream and dream and dream I wake up exhausted. Why can't I stop dreaming? I dream everynight all night.

[Copper]

This happens to me a lot coco...Dreaming of my ex and I wake up very depressed or in tears...All you can really do is deal with it, eventually they will go away.

 

try to keep your mind off him right before you go to bed.

 

Sorry and best of luck.

[johnny_five]

My saving grace in almost in any situation involving the ex has always been to redirect that focus back onto myself in that selfish me-time kind of way. I apply this with almost any situation. Work-in-progress that's for sure. In fact, my writing of this reply was honestly a little moment for me to reflect upon my own character and understanding; analyzing how I feel about this all the while of course hoping it helps someone else who can relate.

 

This is usually how things go for me. I think of something, anything of hers and my body immediately reacts. I start to get nostalgic, I stare to tear up a little, I start to miss her, want her, regret the situation, reflect on where I went wrong. All the typical feelings. Then I think-- this is upsetting me. I don't like that I'm missing something I can't have. I don't like that I lost something. I'm not happy. I'm going to make myself better. Mentally, physically. (And here is where people always say do it for yourself) But I doing it with a little of your ex in mind for motivation isn't too bad.

 

Doing it for yourself, you can't go wrong. Healthy body, healthy mind. Doing it for your ex, motivation to show them you've changed into something even more beautiful and make them regret it, and when your future lover meets you-- nothing will even matter at that point. You will have *hopefully* established a new habit/routine of you that your new love will have much less to complain about. You hopefully won't care about hurting your ex or wanting her back at that point but the result is that hopefully she can't hurt you.

 

Now how this applies to dreams for me was that-- the first time I had a dream about ex I immediately looked it up online. I read every fascinating detail I could about what might trigger certain dreams, certain feelings. I found out some interesting things here and there. It made me feel good to read some of the stuff and really understand myself. I felt better about understanding why my heart was singing that tune. After I got full on knowledge... I came to a conclusion that the only positive outcome of all of this... was I know myself a little more. And I'm happy about that. The dream? That was nothing about anyone but me.

 

I guess to summarize, stop giving your ex credit and start to be greedy for yourself, everything for yourself. Want everything for you.

 

Hope you could relate to that. If not-- hopefully someone else can post something you can relate to. If not-- keep searching for an answer to satisfy your mind and your heart will change its tune with your much more in control mind.

[Dean_Wincheste]

I know how you feel Coco... I dream of my ex almost every night too, even though I'm not depressed or anything. I dreamt of her last night, and the night before, and the night before that too if I remember correctly. Well, maybe I am a little depressed. I still think about her a lot, I miss her so badly, but I'm still able to do things and get on with my life.

 

I keep trying to convince myself that if she no longer wants to be with me, then it's her loss, and she isn't worth the trouble. If she were, she would see how great a guy I am. And she does know how great a guy I am, because she told me on multiple occasions, and also because she still gets in touch with me. But apparently that's not enough for her. And that's not good enough for me either.

 

I also try to remember how I felt about her before we were together, when we were still friends. I wasn't sure if I wanted her as a friend or as more. I kept thinking about it, and thought that before I made a move, I needed to be certain Iwanted to be with her, because I didn't want to risk destroying our friendship. So I waited and waited, and she made the first move. Whe she did, it changed everything, obviously. And then she's the one who broke it off, for no reason, after only a month or two, when things seemed to be going great. Strange isn't it ?

 

So this is how I try to deal with my loss. Maybe you too can try to focus on certain aspects to try and deal with yours. You shouldn't be angry at him, nor should you put him on a pedestal. Just tell yourself that there's nothing you can do about it. If there's nothing you can do about it, then stop thinking about it and regretting having done or not done certain things. Try to convince yourself that you don't care about it all.

 

You're also still young, so also try to convince yourself that you will meet someone else eventually, maybe even very soon. You're at an age when people start to become more mature with how they handle relatinships, and start to realise what they are truly looking for.

 

I had a chat a while ago with a friend who is in his late thirties, happily married with kids. He told me when he was younger (i.e. twenties) he experienced nothing but heartache after heartache. But he told me it gets easier and better as you get older. That was the best thing anyone could have said to me to lift me. Because it made me realise that you have to think long-term, not just short-term. In the short-term, you may not find or meet anyone for a while. But in the long-run, the odds of you meeting someone you fall in love with are well in your favour, as long as you make the effort to go out there and meet people of course (and that you're a good, attractive person).

 

Hope this helps.

 

Take care, and be strong.

[barrakuda]

I also had nightmares about my ex last night. but I love dreaming. have your heart about lucid dreaming? is when you realize you are dreaming and you are able to change the dream. It helps to fight back the nightmares and take control. Is a really hard thing to do and I havent being able to do it in a long time. but when you know what you are probably going to dream it is way easier.

 

there is a lot good books and info online. try it!

[catfeeder]

Your dreams will work all your stuff out for you if you let them run their course. The problem is feeling trapped by them and waking up exhausted. I learned a trick for this. Suggest to yourself before sleeping that your body needs rest, so your dreams should operate on 'background processing' while you relax. It helps to meditate a bit before sleep and trust that your highest intelligence is working everything out for you. Then just lean into it, and you'll start to have the best sleep of your life. You might have a few more rocky dreams until you get the hang of it, but trust yourself.

 

Good night.

[surfNski]

I dream of my ex just about every night to, in fact I was just woken up from a much needed nap by dreams of her. The worst part is that I was angry I woke up because thats the only time I get to see her anymore. It seems she is always there, its not shocking though we lived together for a year and half, I am used to her being there. I just wish I could let her go but in all honesty there is a part of me holding on to her because I still love her. When someone walks out suddenly you cant just stop loving them.

I would have done anything for her, now that she has left that doesnt just go away....

 

Hang in there, I have had nights where she didnt come. Mostlty those nights were spent thinking of other people but that is short lived..

[thedude27]

In time it will stop. I hated that part too, I'd wake up(at like 4-5am and I am so not a morning person ) in tears but I had no control over it because it was in my dreams and there was no way to control it. Its common and it will go away in time. For me it took about 1.5 months for it to stop completely and we were together for 8 years. Continue to move forward and do all the things you are supposed to do while you are awake and in time it will stop.

[CoCo2009]

Thank you for sharing this with me, you think 28 is young? I think its old most people are married or have children by 28.

 

Thanks everyone, I'm still not sleeping well but I guess thats what I have to get used to like you said?

[Dean_Wincheste]

You're welcome Coco. Of course 28 is still young! You're right, it is often around that age that people get married and start having kids. But this is starting to change. People are getting married and having kids much later nowadays.

 

You still have lots of time. And think about this: would you rather settle down with someone you didn't really love, get married to them, only to get divorced 5 or 10 years later? That's what a lot of people go through (I think). Well okay, often two people really are in love with each other, and then that love fades away after a few years. But this has never happened to me so I find it hard to conceive how this could possibly happen.

 

Do you want to go through that pain and hassle, or would you rather wait to find the right person, and in the meantime enjoy being single and have some fun?