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Getting past this..


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Hello everyone

 

I haven't posted in quite a while. Ive been trying to keep busy and stay away from everything that reminds me of my ex. I'm well over a month into NC.

 

Lately I have been doing quite well. I can go long periods of time without her on my mind, sometimes she isn't the first thing I think of when i wake up, and I don't dream about her every single night. I know ill find someone else, and I know she wasn't perfect like I once thought.

 

However last night I was talking to my best friend about her, he was saying how she always talks to him (kinda seems like she wants him to tell me what shes saying) about stuff...I told him I didn't wanna hear it. And I said it was kinda pathetic and she needs to let go, even though it hurts me to say that..

 

He said she was moving to Australia and that really hurt me, i'm not sure why...I guess I hoped she just would stay in the same spot while I moved away. Another thing is...lately I have been feeling really guilty about this whole thing, like im doing something wrong by forcing NC on her..And I just know for sure she is being hurt by me doing so, and she probably cant believe I am doing it. Am I doing something wrong? I thought I was helping both of us, to get over each other. Something that could not be done if I was talking/seeing her all the time..

 

So yeah, I guess i'm just hitting a little speed bump after talking about her yesterday. Been a while since ive felt this low....I even wanted to text her so bad yesterday, but I resisted. I even want to text her now..

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Heya Copper - nice to hear from you bud!

 

It is quite normal to have these cr@ppy days that sneak up so there is nowt wrong with you. Of course it doesn't help that your friend gave you all that info. That is why it is best to stay right away.

 

Mate, you aren't doing anything wrong so try to not feel guilty - this no contact stuff really helps you BOTH in the long run.

 

Good for you for not texting her because, honestly, what would you say anyway? Just reopen wounds that seem to be healing just great anyway.

 

Keep strong fella - better days will return, I promise you that.

 

Keep doing what you are doing - nice and busy - looking after yourself.

 

Mark

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Copper I think you've made great progress so far! You haven't done anything wrong. You two have broken up so now you have to do whats best for you, which is NC. I hate that she's been talking to your friend. Thats her way of spying (for selfish reasons, or whatever else). My ex has pulled the same * * * * on me. He had one of his friends send me messages on Facebook asking about us. This girl even wrote all over my wall asking if we broke up. I am now dealing with my ex's former best friend trying to ask me out or something. Its the worst feeling in the world. I guess your ex is doing that because she knows you still have some feelings for her, and maybe she's looking for a reaction, who knows? The motive is probably selfish.

 

If it makes you feel better I struggle with keeping NC too, but I know that I would be in tears if I talked to my ex. He was a pretty bad person.

 

Keep NC!

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Copper! How have you been?

 

Listen, you're not selfish for being in NC. It is for the best, for you and her. Yeah, it probably stings her a bit, but I'm sure in a few months, the two of you will be in a better place than now. And who knows- Maybe by then she'll miss you so much she may reconnect with you down the road. But until then... Take care of yourself.

 

It's hard to have mutual friends when you break up. They don't know who to side, so they'll just keep telling you what your ex have said or done. And sometimes, this is a great time to figure out whose either really your friend all this time or not, you know?

 

Just keep on getting busy and you'll feel better in no time, trust me. Good luck!

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Thanks for your replies.

 

I don't know why I all of a sudden feel guilty. I guess I do because I just know that she thinks i'm doing something wrong for going NC, even though thats just her being selfish.

 

Your right Mark..what would I say? To be honest I don't think she deserves to hear from me at all, that would only give her another ego boost, knowing i'm still thinking about her and still love her. And would damage me because I would NOT get the kind of response I would want.

 

I also hate how she is talking to my friends...its pathetic and selfish, and she just needs to let go, because when I hear about it, it really hurts me..

 

I just wish I could banish her from my life completely, but there are always those times when I see her drive by, or I see a picture of her, and my heart stops. Then it completely knocks me down depresses me...Its really annoying and i'm sick of having to deal with it.

 

I just wish she could understand what i'm going through and understand that this is for the best. I know I shouldn't be worrying about her, or about what she thinks, but sometimes I just cant help it. I cant stand how the girl I love thinks i'm a bad person.. I guess I can only hope one day she understands why I had to do this, and understands what she lost..?

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Copper! How have you been?

 

Listen, you're not selfish for being in NC. It is for the best, for you and her. Yeah, it probably stings her a bit, but I'm sure in a few months, the two of you will be in a better place than now. And who knows- Maybe by then she'll miss you so much she may reconnect with you down the road. But until then... Take care of yourself.

 

It's hard to have mutual friends when you break up. They don't know who to side, so they'll just keep telling you what your ex have said or done. And sometimes, this is a great time to figure out whose either really your friend all this time or not, you know?

 

Just keep on getting busy and you'll feel better in no time, trust me. Good luck! you for your reply. Ive been much better thanks.

 

Yes your right about NC, but I just hope one day she realizes this..

 

Mutual friends are a pain, I told my best friend not to tell me anything she says to him, he didn't, however last night we did talk a bit about what she had been saying, didn't help me at all, I wish we never had the conversation...but oh well, mistake life goes on.

 

I'm in a rough patch, all I can do is keep my head up and move on. This is nothing compared to the first couple weeks. Ill be fine.

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