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My boyfriend is an alcoholic. He drinks every single day, and the effects are starting to take a huge toll on him. He is starting to vomit every single day, and he is having obvious signs of withdrawals. He even mentioned that he feels his throat is hurting and starting to "close up" which I fear could be a very serious problem. His health is slowly getting worse and I worry constantly. I tell him to go to a doctor, but in ways I think he fears what they will tell him. He knows that there could be a lot wrong with him and he is just scared.

 

I have talked to his good friend about it, and he considers it a laughing matter. He basically says there is nothing I can do, and he will just die.

 

I know my boyfriend wants help. He has told me he wants to. He has talked about rehab and detox but he says he can't afford it. To him drinking is easier than actually getting help. I have talked to him about AA, and he says it is stupid because talking doesn't help.

 

I know I cannot change him, but would I be out of line to contact his family? Maybe they could talk to him, and help him get the help he needs. It is so hard to watch someone slowly kill themselves and feel so helpless.

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does he have health insurance? a doctor could prescribe a low dose long acting benzodiazapine to help get through the detox period, and with health insurance a script like that could be as cheap as 5 or 10 dollars.

 

There are all sorts of ways to get off the sauce, some of which are cheaper than others. But all of them require that he actually really wants to, and it sounds like that might not yet be the case if he is making rationalizations.

 

Put your foot down, tell him that he needs to get help or the relationship is over. If he refuses, then it is probably for the best that the relationship ends. But I suspect that might just be the push he needs to quit.

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AA is stupid. if you actually read into it. its a cult. and unless you wish to embrase a cult into your life. you have to learn to deal with not drinking on your own. with support from friends and family.

 

i drink most nights. a beer or two. but im not drunk every night. thats the difference. subsitute. stronger drinks for lighter drinks. or a ginger beer or something non alcoholic. so the body slowly gets use to it not being there.

 

go from that.

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Personally if you are sure he wants help, I would contact his family (whether or not he wants you to).

 

It's sort of like passing on responsibility in a Child Protection case... you don't say how involved you are emotionally, but if it is at all possible I would move on. He has done serious damage to himself (in the UK we are seeing deaths from liver damage at this age, sadly) and he has surrounded himself with friends who think it's funny.

 

Leaving him may be the only thing you can do to point out that it's not funny.

 

I am so sorry you are going through this. I would advise you not to go through it alone, tell his folks. They would feel awful if something happened and they didn't know and hadn't had the chance to help. Even if their reaction is not good, at least YOU will know in the future that you did all you could.

 

And yes, sadly, be prepared that he may in fact die young.

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