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How do i tell my boyfriend this? Urgent.


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my last post here

 

 

 

I told my boyfriend how i feel about my job.... he offered NO support.. told me to harden the f up. Basically said, isn't it your job to do that anyways.... and that people can be rude.

 

Day in and day out i was spoken rude to, be littled, spoken to like a 5 year old. Im not a person who can just say 'f off', i am too sensetive, but i cant flip a switch and change it. I hated going into this place. i felt sick. It was making me depressed (not depressed depressed) but i wasn't enjoying life.....

 

Anyways, i go into work today and im told MY attitude isn't right and that ive been late (by like a few mins)... ive had no warnings. My attitude isn't right? oh i wonder why?.... im spoken to like that every day... it doesn't make me a bubbly person. So they said, 'we are letting you go'.. WHAT THE....

 

while im glad to be out of there... and my dad is going higher up, coz he says they cant just let you go like that, with out any warnings (i got one for being late - yet everyone else goes out after they arrrived to get a coffee and im pulled up on being 2 mins late..???)... thats its. all my work is done. He thinks i should have gotten a written warning.

 

Its funny how they say my atttude isn't right.. yet ever since ive started at that company, ive never met so many rude people in my life...

 

BUT besides this, just loosing my job, i do not know how to tell my bf. Just last night he thinks i was being stupid and over reacting and taking it too personally. I got no support, i dont expect him to agree with me, but something at least, but nothing.

 

Im worrying about how to tell him, what he'll say... that he'll say oh you stupid girl, or something and just give nothing...that he'll make it out to be MY fault...

 

how do i tell him?

 

WITHOUT getting emotional?

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Frick, this is really hard for me to respond to. But, I have to say it anyway because this is an advice board. The most common element in all of your failed work relationships is, ummm, you. This means that the first place you should be looking is at yourself. I did read your other threads, and I wish I didn't have to tell you this, but I have to agree somewhat with your boyfriend. Work is work. People will be lazy. People will be short with you. And if you return that serve with attitude? You are pretty much dead in the water.

 

Remember that you're getting paid, and I'm guessing you're getting paid by the hour at this point, and it doesn't matter what you're doing or how you're doing it because it's still work, and you're still going to make the same money with the same hours. Why fret over someone else's work habits or what they ask you to do? It's pointless. And if you complain at all at work, or you outwardly show that it bothers you, NO ONE is going to want to hear it. Work is hard enough without having to deal with a co-worker who appears to be constantly distressed and put out.

 

Someone didn't clear the faxes? Welcome to modern corporate America. If this is what get you down then you'll spend your entire life down in the dumps. And your boyfriend knows this. If can't even handle these small inconeniences, then how will you possible handle much worse situations? It can get sooooooo much worse.

 

And finally, remember that your enviornment is so often merely a reflection of what's going on inside you. I know you're not going to want to hear these words, nor believe them to be true, but if you really want to make this situation better for yourself and your BF then you'll try to take some stock in them.

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well...

what the hell can i say to that?

 

yeah my attitude probably wasn't right, but theres wasn't either... i DO not need to be treated at a work place like that.

 

my last job i was there for 5 years. people were great.. obviously i had it good there.

 

well going by what you've just said, i may as wlel just give up..... what is the point?

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oh and i dont return with serve attitude. ive always doen what they have asked. ive said, yep ok, wil do, ive NEVER once said no to them... just coz i dont jump for joy when they give me there task to do im to blame? no.

 

 

oh, and even at the interview i had a weird feeling abotu this place and job from the start...so its been there from the get go....

 

 

late last year/early this year, i was basically depressed, after a few things, had an operation on my heart few month ago... so yeah, i wasn't really into the job, BUT it works both ways.... TREAT PEOPLE WITH SOME RESPECT.

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oh and i dont return with serve attitude. ive always doen what they have asked. ive said, yep ok, wil do, ive NEVER once said no to them... just coz i dont jump for joy when they give me there task to do im to blame? no.

 

 

oh, and even at the interview i had a weird feeling abotu this place and job from the start...so its been there from the get go....

 

 

late last year/early this year, i was basically depressed, after a few things, had an operation on my heart few month ago... so yeah, i wasn't really into the job, BUT it works both ways.... TREAT PEOPLE WITH SOME RESPECT.

 

 

I'm not trying to blame you. Your workplace likely sucks. But I am saying that sometimes you may be contributing just a little bit to that feeling and not even be aware of it. You can do so many things to help the sitch. You could go up to a co-worker and ask if they need your help. Ask anyone about their weekend. Smile a lot. Go grab coffee for everyone one day and just hand it out. Buy flowers for the office. There are all kinds of things you could do to make positive changes. Be the change you'd like to see at your workplace and then hope that some of the doucebags follow.

 

Make sense?

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Just tell him you got let go and are happy about it. Then start looking of another job and take a minivacation (in between job interviews)

 

thats good... im upset, but i am happy i dont have to go back there.....

 

it was making me miserable....not just work life, but else where...i was moody, depressed, not enjoying life.... it was makign me sick..

 

and yes i probably was taking it too personally, but its the way i am. i cant help it.....

 

i was at my last job for 5 years (company closed), so, there is obviously NOT JUST ME!....

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I'm not trying to blame you. Your workplace likely sucks. But I am saying that sometimes you may be contributing just a little bit to that feeling and not even be aware of it. You can do so many things to help the sitch. You could go up to a co-worker and ask if they need your help. Ask anyone about their weekend. Smile a lot. Go grab coffee for everyone one day and just hand it out. Buy flowers for the office. There are all kinds of things you could do to make positive changes. Be the change you'd like to see at your workplace and then hope that some of the doucebags follow.

 

Make sense?

 

i probably was....because i dreaded going there...when your work is making you sick, or hate life, it doens't make you want to go the extra mile does it?

 

when you stat a new job, you at least should be welcomed..... didn't happen. they are all incredibly rude. NO training. expect you to know it all..... you ask for help. they dont give it..

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i probably was....because i dreaded going there...when your work is making you sick, or hate life, it doens't make you want to go the extra mile does it?

 

Just like in a relationship. Or with a friend. It works the same way with everyone. Be the change that you'd like to see.

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Oh jeez girl, you gotta take your enjoyment where you can. No more going into that job you dreaded every day! Yay!

 

Instead of dreading the next thing to deal with - telling bf - why not take some time to be happy that you've got a chance now to go for what you want.

 

Approach him like he is going to be cool about it. If he flips, practice your assertiveness.

 

What better time than now to turn a new leaf?

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Oh jeez girl, you gotta take your enjoyment where you can. No more going into that job you dreaded every day! Yay!

 

Instead of dreading the next thing to deal with - telling bf - why not take some time to be happy that you've got a chance now to go for what you want.

 

Approach him like he is going to be cool about it. If he flips, practice your assertiveness.

 

What better time than now to turn a new leaf?

 

THANK YOU.

 

i need to hear that.. i am aware the above posters are correct too, my attitude wasn't right but how can it be when its a place i dread going, that was making me unahppy in my every day life?

 

In the past few weeks, ive been thinking about finding a job i like to do, that id enjoy, im tired of doing boring work. i have for the past 5 years. i need something that is exicting, that i can be passionate about.... thats not an unreasonable request is it?

 

my bf is studying for something he really wants to be and do...so why should i limit my self to a office desk answering phone calls?

 

im still relatively young now.... i have another 30-40 years before i can think of retiring, why should i spend those years doing meaningless crap? it'd be wasted...

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I have to agree with Jett...welcome to corporate america. Thats work...Thats how it is. I've had some of the WORST jobs known to man but I NEVER EVER EVER let it get to me and give me a bad attitude...I was the same happy person I was the day I joined any job and I have always maintaind that. Yea we all have our good and bad days but thats it...If you dont like the job...quit and move on. In this case they let you go.

 

And your dad is wrong about 'they cant fire you'. Every job ive ever had has made me sign a paper when I got hired on an "as is" basis...it says they cant let you go ANYTIME they want without any reason. I live in NY so im not sure how all job laws apply but that should cover them. Jobs do not have to give you a reason as to why they fired you...for all you know it could be budget. People get laid off everyday for zero reason.

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some job environemtns would be like that, but in the tpe of job i had, it was unccalled for. i do not need to be threatened if i dont go to lunch now i wont get one...

 

my last job, as ive said, 5 years, great place, MAYBE i was just too used to that? a nice work environment???

 

oh, and laws would be different here. they do need to give you some written warning.

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THANK YOU.

 

i need to hear that.. i am aware the above posters are correct too, my attitude wasn't right but how can it be when its a place i dread going, that was making me unahppy in my every day life?

 

In the past few weeks, ive been thinking about finding a job i like to do, that id enjoy, im tired of doing boring work. i have for the past 5 years. i need something that is exicting, that i can be passionate about.... thats not an unreasonable request is it?

 

my bf is studying for something he really wants to be and do...so why should i limit my self to a office desk answering phone calls?

 

im still relatively young now.... i have another 30-40 years before i can think of retiring, why should i spend those years doing meaningless crap? it'd be wasted...

 

Absolutely, if you choose to use this for positive growth - you'll be just fine.

 

No point beating a dead horse. It's done now. Onward!

 

Good luck.

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Absolutely, if you choose to use this for positive growth - you'll be just fine.

 

No point beating a dead horse. It's done now. Onward!

 

Good luck.

 

thank you again.

 

whether i brought 'this on' is irrlevant. it was miserable... even my bf has asked me/mentioned that ive been moody..... yeah coz im hating life... (work life)...

 

 

thank you....

 

i'll tell my bf by text. is it better to wait a day or two, or tell him now?

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I'm in the same situation now. I absolutely HATE my job and it's affecting all areas of my life. All I do is moan to my BF about it. It's usually a few comments then I will leave it. Today I had a bit of a break down about it and was surprised at how supportive he was as before I didn't think he was being, but then who could blame him when I moaned about it all the time. I actually feel bad for moaning at him so much coz it probably got him down too.

 

I think you should just tell him. Tell him it wasn't your fault and they just decided. If you feel he still isn't being supportive then maybe you could calmly tell him how you feel.

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I'm in the same situation now. I absolutely HATE my job and it's affecting all areas of my life. All I do is moan to my BF about it. It's usually a few comments then I will leave it. Today I had a bit of a break down about it and was surprised at how supportive he was as before I didn't think he was being, but then who could blame him when I moaned about it all the time. I actually feel bad for moaning at him so much coz it probably got him down too.

 

I think you should just tell him. Tell him it wasn't your fault and they just decided. If you feel he still isn't being supportive then maybe you could calmly tell him how you feel.

 

thank you. im guessing you'd know what its like then and how it can affect your life.

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Definitely. I've never felt so depressed in a job and didn't realise how much it can get you down. Try to talk to him and make him understand how it makes you feel.

 

Before I experienced it myself I always thought that hating your job would be no big deal but it really is.

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