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still confused... not strong enough.


.piper.

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I am super confused.... super. Please shed some light on this for me.

 

I think I wrote a similar thread to this a week ago or so but I will update this one.

 

My ex tells me that he loves me and misses me. The reason for the break up is because he wanted to be single. He told me he isnt looking for another relationship and hopes that when he "figures this out" I will be available. He wants to be in a relationship with me. He wants to stay in touch, he wants to hang out everyday, he wants to sleep together but doesnt want to put a title on it because he feels if we do, and then we break up then it will be painful all over again. I told him we are pretty much together right now anyway without a title and if we stop talking/hanging out it will be the same as a break up.

 

I told him that I couldn't do this anymore and I wanted him to be mine, I wanted him to be my boyfriend. He told me he can't give me that right now and just wants to continue what we are doing. He said if I cannot accept that than thats all we can do. Yet he doesnt want to stop talking to me. But he doesnt want to talk about us.

 

What do I do? Do you think we will ever get back together? Should I just initiate NC and move on?? I don't want to move on at all, I love him with all my heart.

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He wants to have his cake and eat it too--and if you let him do that, you're going to get stuck with nothing but crumbs on an empty plate.

 

If he thinks breaking up is less painful if you don't CALL it a relationship, he's nuts. He is just trying to manipulate you into giving him all the goodies of a relationship without any of the responsibilities or fidelity.

 

Yes, I think you should go NC with him. He's using you, taking what he needs without giving you what you need. You deserve better.

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Dear, many of us are at that stage... I would be lying if I said that I wouldn't want that with my ex as well. But you know... even if you two did get back together, it cannot be the same. Yes, you would have to address the issues that brought you here in the first place, but you would have to let go of the hurt and pain it caused. Both of you would need to grow.

 

Give him space, let him breathe. If you have the urge to contact him, post it here instead... there are some good caring people on here that have gone through similar stage as you are now.

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He wants you in his life at his own convenience. He is looking out for himself and doesn't really care about what you want. He wants sex, he wants a companion when he feels like company...BUT he doesn't want you as a girlfriend..he wants to be single so that he can look for someone else to be his girlfriend...in the meantime he will keep you around until he finds a replacement. In other words, he is using you and disrespecting you. If you cease to agree to this set up and he just walks away from you that tells you that he was only interested in using you as long as you were willing to be used...once you stop being willing to be used he is gone...shows what a charming fellow he is. A decent human being would end the relationship and walk away...a decent human being does not use their ex in this way. Forget about the fact that you love him...look at who he has turned out to be...someone who would use you and take advantage of the fact that you care about him in order to get no strings attached sex and a warm body. Is this the kind of man you really want...someone who charms you into bed for no strings attached sex...someone who doesn't care what this setup is doing to your emotions.

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He wants to have his cake and eat it too--and if you let him do that, you're going to get stuck with nothing but crumbs on an empty plate.

 

If he thinks breaking up is less painful if you don't CALL it a relationship, he's nuts. He is just trying to manipulate you into giving him all the goodies of a relationship without any of the responsibilities or fidelity.

 

Yes, I think you should go NC with him. He's using you, taking what he needs without giving you what you need. You deserve better.

 

I'm agreeing with this ^^^^ you shouldn't allow him to have his cake and eat it too, afterall, you can't have your cake and eat it too...he's getting everything he wants and you should too!

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My ex more or less did the same thing between Jan-May of this year. You know what? It's a bunch of B**S. I now realized if he cared about me and loved me like he once did, he wouldn't have taken advantage of that fact to boost his ego when he was feeling down by calling on me for physical and mental support outside the boundaries of a relationship. It messed with my head big time and hurt me worse once it was over than I did when he originally broke up. Plus I lost all respect for him and resent him now, which are not feelings I had prior when we were split.

 

Walk away. He's just using you to boost his ego without any regard for the emotional ramifications it could cause you. Either that or set boundaries... i.e., if you care for me and love me, but can't commit to me now, I can still be your friend, then respect me and my feelings and abstain from attempting to have sex with me." If he truly values and respects you, he will lay off. If not.... then he's not worthy of your time.

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What If My Ex Wants Me Back - What...
What If My Ex Wants Me Back - What To Do?

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