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Anyone here a loner? How do you deal with being alone all the time?


CoCo2009

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I'm a loner. I almost have always been..my sisters have always had lots of friends but not me I was alone and I most of the time just hung out with their friends lol. Now that I am older I am really alone because my boyfriend broke up with me and he was my only friend. So yeah, how do I deal with being alone until maybe I find a job and make some friends then. I only have online friends, but of course you can't go out with online friends. I'm not going out to look for people either because I get anxiety and I just can't do that right now. How do I deal with being alone? Thank you for your advice and reading my post.

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I am what you would call a "loner". I live alone and have done so for many years. I do have friends and I hang out with them enough. But, I also do alot of stuff alone. I go shopping by myself, grab food by myself, go for drives, etc. I even travel by myself. I like doing things by myself because I am only responsible for ME and no one else.

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I'm a loner. I have few friends, and rarely get together with them. I also have SA, which makes it hard for me to make new friends, as I hate approaching strangers.

 

I don't like it, and I'm really lonely sometimes. But I guess it's the way God made me.

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why cant you work on your anxiety? therapist?

 

 

when i'm lonely, i find people to talk to... people on the streets... just going to get coffee.. make small talk at the bus stop, at the counter, etc.. even a hi, hello makes me feel better.

I am when I get insurance

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Another loner here. To keep myself occupied, I have a small garden that I tend to, plus books, music, Netflix, gaming, and the internet. I used to drink to excess too but I cut that out for health and financial reasons. Now that I've moved into a place where I can have pets, I'm also going to get a cat from the local animal shelter.

 

All that helps me cope, but what would would help most of all would be the knowledge that it was my choice to be alone instead of something that was forced on me.

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I've been a loner for the past year. Part of that is situational and part of that is choice. I used to have an amazing social life and great friends. Then I started to develop this horrible fatigue and anxiety problems. I nearly had a breakdown when I realized that didn't have a single person to rely on. Soon enough I adapted. I have a great imagination and I never get bored being alone. In fact, a lot of the time social situations are more boring to me than being by myself. I would like to obtain a good circle of friends, but not for the sake of having friends. They have to be people I actually like.

 

I think if this is bothering you (it sounds like it is), then you should try to get some therapy. It might be able to help you out with your anxiety problems and eventually you should be able to interact with people normally.

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I am going to get help once I get insurance I mentioned this before. I wouldn't bother me so much if I didn't associate not having any friends with being a loser. I feel like a loser because I don't have friends and I don't think thats fair to think that about myself.

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I am going to get help once I get insurance I mentioned this before. I wouldn't bother me so much if I didn't associate not having any friends with being a loser. I feel like a loser because I don't have friends and I don't think thats fair to think that about myself.

 

Sorry, you must have said that as I was typing

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I've pretty much been a loner for the past several months. I've become disconnected with a lot of my high school friends and I just don't get out much anymore. I've spent the last couple weeks taking random bike rides, working out in my basement, and sitting and reading the internet whilst listening to music. The lack of social contact has left me somewhat depressed and the thing that is keeping me going is the endorphins from exercise. When classes start again I'm going to try to make new friends.

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Growing comfortable being alone actually makes it easier to be around people. I know that sounds backwards, but learning how to relax in your own skin is the most attractive quality you can own.

 

There is no expiration date on your social calendar, so give it enough of a rest to learn how to relax with yourself. Take the time to explore your private interests and hidden talents, and lose the idea that you must rush to make friends. Once you gain confidence in your own solitude, you won't feel ashamed of it, and then you'll lose the anxiety about impressing anyone. You'll just be yourself, and that's all you need.

 

We're all a bunch of frightened human animals doing the best we can with what we know at any given time. If you can relax and appreciate yourself just for the courage it takes to exist in this world, then you'll have nothing to prove and everything to gain. That's how you can enjoy the smallest encounters with others, and whether they turn into long-lasting friendships or not won't be the point.

 

In your corner.

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You're lucky you have your family. Blood is thicker than water. They will always be there (assuming you get along). I have friends but feel alone. We are drifting apart, plus I enjoy solitude, but would love new friends and a boyfriend. I live alone, it gets lonely, like tonight.

 

I wish I had a close family that was always there, and knew me since I was born. If you are tight knit, there is little chance for backstabbing etc. You will always have someone. Friends, on the other hand, sometimes grow apart. it's sad.

 

I hope to meet new friends, hang on to my old friends, and meet a man to start my own family with.

 

You're not alone in your loneliness, just hang in there, follow your hobies, and be thankful you have your family.

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You can't go clubbing and get drunk with your family, I need friends that I can go out with have a girls night. My family is not like that, I don't know what it feels like to be able to call up a girl and say "hay lets go out dancing tonight and drink". I feel jealous of people who can do that. I don't know, maybe the grass is greener or something I don't know?

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I have friends, but spend most of my time by myself too. What I do is make lists of goals I want to accomplish that day.

 

For example, today my top priorities are: re-designing my resume using the principles I learned in my online class; designing a simple webpage using the HTML I learned; applying for at least one job; checking out the book on drawing lessons I bought and maybe beginning a lesson in my sketchbook; and watching a couple episodes of The Golden Girls on DVD tonight. I am also going to go for a walk, check in at Enotalone periodically, talk to my family later when they are home from work, make a couple healthy meals, and do some reading for an upcoming university program I will start soon.

 

I may not finish everything today, but I'll get to some of it tomorrow.

 

Sometimes I find new songs I like on link removed and make up new radio stations, or I walk down to the park and do some writing. Or I could watch a movie, work on my neglected family history/ancestry book, or re-organize my filing cabinets.

 

Even though I lost my job, there are way too many things I could do with my time if only there were enough hours in the day. I'm almost scared to go back to work because I will miss out on so many opportunities for self-growth and production.

 

Make a list of things you'd like to do and start small. If you want to learn how to knit or make jewelry, you could hit up the library and craft store and get a few inexpensive supplies...or you could write or draw for free...or learn a new language...or play an instrument if someone could lend it to you...try a new online videogame...the possibilities are endless!

 

I get lonely too though. I keep meaning to try a church. I'd like to improve my singing and join a chior. What about you? Anything you'd like to try? Just pick one and go with it. No problem if you don't know what you're doing yet.

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Hay thanks for that advice all that stuff you listed makes it seem like you are very busy which you are! I think I will try this out too.

 

I noticed that you are in California too. are you on unemployment? I am and I have been applying to jobs like crazy. Do you know anything about the extensions? I got one extension and its going to run out in September and I'm afraid of what will happen.

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Hey Coco,

 

My Unemployment expires in September too! I am getting so freaked out about it, so I applied for an extension last night online. I'm not sure how many times we can get it extended. I think you have to meet certain requirements and I don't think I do.

 

I am having a tough time finding a job too. I have gotten a few little calls and it hasn't amounted to anything.

 

I'll keep you posted if I hear anything else about the unemployment. Let me know if you hear something also.

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I'm a loner. I almost have always been..my sisters have always had lots of friends but not me I was alone and I most of the time just hung out with their friends lol. Now that I am older I am really alone because my boyfriend broke up with me and he was my only friend. So yeah, how do I deal with being alone until maybe I find a job and make some friends then. I only have online friends, but of course you can't go out with online friends. I'm not going out to look for people either because I get anxiety and I just can't do that right now. How do I deal with being alone? Thank you for your advice and reading my post.

 

I'm same. If it weren't for my bf I'd be alone most of the time or with family.

 

I'm always entertaining myself with one of the following when alone: going out with dad and siblings to eat/out/to friends, gym, internet, tv shows....

Lol.

 

That's why I've been trying to get a bit more social and talk to more people. Kind of move on from being too much of a loner. Too much of it becomes a bad thing (for me).

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Hey Coco,

 

My Unemployment expires in September too! I am getting so freaked out about it, so I applied for an extension last night online. I'm not sure how many times we can get it extended. I think you have to meet certain requirements and I don't think I do.

 

I am having a tough time finding a job too. I have gotten a few little calls and it hasn't amounted to anything.

 

I'll keep you posted if I hear anything else about the unemployment. Let me know if you hear something also.

 

I don't think you needed to apply online for your extension, I think they automatically do it for you. They can't do it until you actually run out though so thats the sucky part. I'll let you know what happens.

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I have friends (not a lot, just a few good ones the rest are acquaintances) but I rarely spend time with them because we each have different interests. I am fine with that type of arrangement. I like being alone anyway. I get to do what I want without putting up with peoples drama and such. I control the situation. I am never bored when I'm alone. I keep myself busy and entertained. I do a lot of fun things that I enjoy plus being alone allows you to interact with so many new people.

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