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What we talk about when we talk about love


jettison
All I Ever Wanted Was to Love You
All I Ever Wanted Was to Love You

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Subject Re: RE: RE: me

I feel supremely guilty, like I've f'd up a friendship over sex. And then beyond that, I'm not even in love with her, but I felt like I wanted to be in love with someone, and she fit all the generic criteria. And it just scares me that I can't open myself up enough to fall in love with someone. I can't let anyone in that way right now. It's scary. It fits right in with what you're saying about bottling up.

 

And no, I don't sound like myself. I'm not myself. I have always taken love and anything that resembles love hard. It's who I am. I don't have easy loves. They are like little earthquakes inside me, and all the little inhabitants die by falling through the fissures.

 

 

 

 

 

Subject Re: RE: RE: RE: me

Maybe its like HHWH told me.. maybe its not that you cant love, but that you cant love THEM.

Ever consider that?

 

 

 

 

 

 

Subject Re: RE: RE: RE: RE: me

I would love to consider that I can't love them, or that they will not allow themselves to be loved, and that's actually what I've been doing this whole time, and it's kept me quite sane. But now that I consider that it's me that's not capable of the love that I want, and not capable of opening up enough, it's got me all riled up in all kinds of bad ways.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Subject Re: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: me

Its weird seeing you go through this because it reflects what just happened to me and what is happening to me. When something ends the person can look at it from dozens of angles, and they all read a bit differently. When we see it as a fault out of our control, like “it wasn’t meant to be” its calming. When we see it as “they wouldn’t/couldn’t love me” then its disheartening… and when we see it as “maybe it was my fault, maybe I couldn’t love?” its highly distressing. Because then the weight of the world in on your shoulders.

 

 

So which one do we pick? Since obviously we don’t want to choose the wrong one because it makes us feel better.. how can we tell it’s the other two?

I’m at this fork myself. It actually comes and goes. But in your case I think that all 3 are applicable. I don’t think she was right or ready for you, I don’t think you and her were meant to be together for very long, and I think because of her issues they caused you to react a certain way that made you unable to open up completely like you wanted to.

 

 

 

Love isn’t a forced emotion, it cannot survive in that atmosphere.

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Stop with the drama lol

She just played with your heart and you're a typical guy who has a crush and who has his heart broken.

You all become little whining babies when you get your heart broken.

 

 

jettison a drink:

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Stop with the drama lol

She just played with your heart and you're a typical guy who has a crush and who has his heart broken.

You all become little whining babies when you get your heart broken.

 

 

jettison a drink

 

I know. I'm the first person to call myself a whiney little baby too. I would kick myself in my own ass, but my foot won't reach.

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yoga jetti yoga.

 

and if you think you dont turn into a whiny baby after a breakup then you are a liar and a fool.. we all do.

 

dumper or dumpee there is also always a time of utter overwhelming confusion. the heart is what it is.

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yoga jetti yoga.

 

and if you think you dont turn into a whiny baby after a breakup then you are a liar and a fool.. we all do.

 

dumper or dumpee there is also always a time of utter overwhelming confusion. the heart is what it is.

 

Taking Siriana's drink... going home with EQD.

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heehee, watch out jetti.. i'm a heartbreaker too.

 

Impossible! You're too far away to ever break my heart . Besides, I'm a supremely contrasty lover. It's my turn to break the next heart before mine gets broken again. That's just the way it works. You'd have to catch me on an even relationship .

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yoga jetti yoga.

 

and if you think you dont turn into a whiny baby after a breakup then you are a liar and a fool.. we all do.

 

dumper or dumpee there is also always a time of utter overwhelming confusion. the heart is what it is.

 

Yeah, I've been there too.

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