exback Posted July 28, 2009 Share Posted July 28, 2009 My boyfriend broke up with me after 4 years after a big fight about something stupid (a car)!!! It's been 5 months now since that fight/break up and he never talked to me once even so I tried to contact him the first month and again once after 3 months - he ignored every attempt. After that last attempt I have never contacted him again tha last couple of months. It is not about getting back together because I know we might be better of without each other even so I miss him every day but it just didn't work out - we are both totally different characters. Since he never talked to me and never told me he is missing me I am just curious: Are there any "dumpers" after a long-term relationship that did miss (even so they never contacted and didn't try to get back to the dumpee)??? I just want to know that I am not the only one of us suffering and missing him after 4 years together (we were engaged) since getting dumped and not being able to be with him was/is horrible for me... Link to comment
exback Posted July 28, 2009 Author Share Posted July 28, 2009 You are right...the car was not the real reason...of course not. We were constantly fighting. He had a lot going on (university, money issues, problems with his family and so on) and he didn't spend as much time with me as I wished for...so I nagged. And so on... Enough...I don't think he misses me as much as I miss him and even I have doubts about us being in a relationship... I was just curious since he never tried to contact me and even deleted every single trace of me (facebook...) Link to comment
regular joe Posted July 28, 2009 Share Posted July 28, 2009 Exback I am in the same boat. My EX refuses to talk to me. It will be 15 weeks this Friday since our big blow out. I am accused of being the dumper, when she was the leaver. She still doesn't want to face her problems and do anything about them, I guess that they are my fault. She will not talk to me. When I run into her it gets ugly very quickly. Six weeks ago when she left me a very angry note about wanting to "just get her things". She has not been by the house since then. If you know the answer to that one I'd love to hear it. Link to comment
Amasa Posted July 28, 2009 Share Posted July 28, 2009 When my ex and I broke up a long long time ago. I read some silly cosmo article about how this girl told her boyfriend her car had brokedown, so he would come save her, and he showed up and they were soooo in love and got married. So, like a week after me and the ex had broke up I called and told him I had a flat tire on the freeway and noone else could come get me (I left a message because he wasn't speaking to me of course) I told him to call me back to get directions because of course I wasn't really out in the street. He never called, and we didn't talk for a really really really long time. Anyway so flash forward to 3months ago (like 8years later), when we are again breaking up and that came up in conversation. He had memorized the message, and could still recite it back to me. He said he was really torn about whether to go or not (even though he knew the message was bs) and had listened to the message like 100 times. So, yes I think that even when they don't talk to you they are missing you. Link to comment
exback Posted July 28, 2009 Author Share Posted July 28, 2009 @regular joe: it doesn't matter who did the dumping..it is about who is willing to take another chance on the relationship. You showed her you are willing to talk and to get back together, she apparently isn't willing to talk or reconcile. I tried to talk to my ex a million times: texting, sending emails, calling and so on. He ignored every attempt for weeks/months. It is not about what someone did or about what happened it is about them and about whether or not they are thinking we are worth trying again. Their behaviour shows us: in their oppinion we are not!!! That's all we need to know. We tried, we failed. If they change their minds they will let us know. I just hope they miss and suffer at least as much as we do and that if their pride is an issue they will regret one day being to proud... Give her what she wants: a life without you - believe me once they have what they want it is not us good as it seemed to be. @amasa: You broke up again!? My ex wouldn't have reacted either if I would have tried that but I am sure he would have thought/felt the same. Link to comment
Amasa Posted July 28, 2009 Share Posted July 28, 2009 Pshhaa me and this guy have gone round and round my entire adult life, 13 years total, together 10 . This is our second breakup. :sad: Link to comment
exback Posted July 28, 2009 Author Share Posted July 28, 2009 @amasa: Do you regret getting back together since you broke up a second time now years later or was the time with him worth the second attempt!??? Link to comment
Amasa Posted July 29, 2009 Share Posted July 29, 2009 NO no, it's been even better the second time around!!!! The first time we got together I was 17 and we were together for three years, plus 2 years to fully breakup. I was so in love with that boy. But I was immature and I fought badly. He also wanted a family and I wasn't ready. But we mostly broke up over the fighting. The next 3 years I worked on me, grew up a lot and really got two know who I was. (I really enjoyed this time too) When we hooked up again (5yrs ago) I was so excited I thought I had died. It was the best thing ever!!! We had two babies together (I wouldn't want kids w anyone else) bought a house, got engaged. And it was so funny to see how he had grown. I've known him for so long, when he did things, I know where he learned it, when he learned it. It was so neat that he was this totally new guy, and at the same time a really old friend. I don't know if we'll get back together this time or not (fingers crossed!!) but even if we don't, it was TOTALLY worth it. Link to comment
canali Posted July 29, 2009 Share Posted July 29, 2009 Missing someone means nothing!...dont even go there. Link to comment
IndieLover Posted August 1, 2009 Share Posted August 1, 2009 What exactly happened with the car that caused you to break up? Link to comment
exback Posted August 2, 2009 Author Share Posted August 2, 2009 He had MY car for the last 2 weeks and I needed it back for one day and asked him to bring it to me. First he didn't reply to that request and then one day later after I asked again he got really angry ...so I took the bus to fetch my car myself...he never talked to me again.... Link to comment
Crazyaboutdogs Posted August 2, 2009 Share Posted August 2, 2009 He had MY car for the last 2 weeks and I needed it back for one day and asked him to bring it to me. First he didn't reply to that request and then one day later after I asked again he got really angry ...so I took the bus to fetch my car myself...he never talked to me again.... Sounds like you are better off without him. Actually he sounds like a toddler. Here is an analogy: Jane and Joe are 5 years old and playing with their toys. Joe starts to playing with one of Jane's toys and that's fine for a while. Joe moves on to another toy but doesn't return Jane's toy..he wants to hang on to it in case he wants to play with it again. Jane wants to play with her toy but Joe ignores her when she asks for it back. Jane walks over and picks up the toy and starts playing with the toy. Joe gets angry because he wanted to keep the toy in his possession so he gives Jane a dirty look, stamps his feet in anger as he leaves the room and ignores any further overtures of friendship from her. The version of "taking his marbles and going home". What your ex did is toddler behaviour. Link to comment
exback Posted August 3, 2009 Author Share Posted August 3, 2009 funny...yeah you described exactly my ex...he even acts like a child ignoring me and pretending I don't exist any longer for him...childish... Link to comment
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