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I find it difficult to express emotions...


jhinesis
Motivational Poems Page 3
Motivational Poems Page 3

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Title says it. I'm fairly good at reciprocating feelings--meaning if someone expresses their feelings to me, I can respond warmly. But I find myself unable to just express my feelings out of the blue.

 

Take my new boyfriend. He is *all* the time sending me little messages/texts, to say he's thinking of me, misses me, can't wait to see me, how he thinks I'm attractive, how "cool" he thinks I am. He'll do that in person too, he'll gush at me about every positive thought and feeling he has--he's very open. Which I really like about him.

 

I can't do that. Meaning, it's just been burned into my brain that I'm suppose to keep these things to myself. Or at least limit it a lot. I think this is a result of feeling like I put myself out on a limb in the past--to have it backfire. As in, I felt like everytime I started to like someone and tried to show it, they lost interest. They backed off. They didn't seem to feel the same any more. Part of me learned to "keep my cool", so as to not get hurt. So I wouldn't feel silly later when/if they did lose interest. It's a defense mechanism. I worry though, that dating someone like my current boyfriend, who has no problem expressing emotions--that he'll feel like I don't really like him. Or that I'm not "as into him" as I should be. When I really am--I'm just not as open as he is about it. I don't want to hurt his feelings or discourage him at all. Then a part of me wonders if he likes me partly *because* I'm like this? Though I'm not trying to play a game--honestly. I've just lost my ability to come out and say what I feel. When I try--I become tongue-tied and awkward, at a complete loss for words. It's incredibly difficult and uncomfortable for me---you have no idea! The end result is that he ends up contacting me and making our plans a good 90% of the time. Though, as of yet, he's not shown any problem with this--he's just as cheerful and excited and upbeat and "smitten" as always.

 

Thoughts?

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Just be true to yourself - if you push yourself to say things when you're not 100% comfortable with saying them, they'll come out wrong. In time, you'll probably find you can open up to your guy; it doesn't sound as though he's feeling discouraged at all at the moment, so just don't force the issue. And relax and stop worrying!

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Keep remembering that he has already expressed his warm & caring feelings toward you in many ways. You mention that you can reciprocate well, so look at it as reciprocating, which it is.

 

You aren't putting yourself out there first so it's a great time & way to practice. And maybe start with email, that might be a bit easier. You can do what he does but this time be the one to initiate an email that says that you miss him or that you find him sexy or attractive, etc. Get a feel in a more "safe" manner for how that feels to do that, and how it feels to get a positive response from it...

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