I am following all the advice given by everyone...

[fantasticfeel]

... and I'm still finding myself intermittently crying myself to sleep. It took her a week to get over this while 2 months later, I'm still feeling miserable. I guess it does get a bit easier with time but I'm so tired of relapsing for no reason.

 

I guess there's no real point of this thread. Just wanted to vent somewhere because I'm fairly sure my friends are tired of me bleeding their ears out with complains.

[surfNski]

I know exactly how you feel. It was a month or so of breaking up, then hope, then the final break. Now its been about a month of it being completely over and I am still a wreck. She has moved on but I still spend some days crying my eyes out. I have dated a bit, even had sex a couple times, but that just seems to make the feelings worse....I will vent with you man, hows that?

[amiami19]

Listen, I don't know what happened or what advice you are following. Maybe the advice was good. But I am a stronger believer of following your heart. And if you followed your heart NO matter what EVERYONE told you, I trust you will sleep better soon.

[getting_on_ok]

I am there with you, my mom is telling me to man up. It sucks because I am having trouble with school and work. I feel horrible but I've been working out like crazy and I got a nice tan as well. Sometimes when you follow your heart it get crushed. Stay busy and pray thats all I can say.

[doiiiieeezie]

Welcome to the club... I have followed some advice, done some stupid things... had a mini blow up with my ex 3 weeks ago... had a confusing message sent 2 weeks ago and here I am sitting in my office trying to get through the day so I can go home and possibly cry.

 

Try some melatonin for sleep... I had to use it the first few weeks of my breakup... it's all natural,etc.

[fantasticfeel]

Listen, I don't know what happened or what advice you are following. Maybe the advice was good. But I am a stronger believer of following your heart. And if you followed your heart NO matter what EVERYONE told you, I trust you will sleep better soon.

 

I do the whole "keeping busy" and "hanging out with friends/family" stuff. Mostly, they seem like just temporary distractions. Anytime I'm alone again, I start thinking and would feel even worse. I hate going to bed. I hate waking up in the morning

[starlight40]

Youre not alone, i feel exactly the same

[Perfection]

I do the whole "keeping busy" and "hanging out with friends/family" stuff. Mostly, they seem like just temporary distractions. Anytime I'm alone again, I start thinking and would feel even worse. I hate going to bed. I hate waking up in the morning

 

i am exactly at the same spot and in the same situation. and i feel the same way as you do. i do the "keeping busy" and "hanging out with friends/family" stuff. and when i am alone, BAM! i spiral uncontrollably into sadness. i am sleeping well though because i tire myself out ridiculously at the gym and so body has no choice but to collapse. i don't know how long i can keep it up and I HATE waking up in the morning. the morning blues are the worse by the day. and today is 1 week since i last spoke to her. so it's even worse today.

 

i am so sorry you feel the same way, but just wanted to say that you are not all alone. i am right there next to you. hang in there, and stay strong. hope it gets better for you (and for me too). pm me if you feel like venting at all.

[SnowFox]

crying intermittently is a sign of grief.

 

Our bodies and minds need to go through grief when we experience a loss, whether its a break up, getting fired, a pet dying, a close friend moving far away, etc. - our minds can experience many things as a "loss" and if so, we will feel grief afterwards. If you block the emotions entirely, they will sabotage you later.

 

Its much healthier to allow yourself to let the feelings out...in small doses.

 

So, its healthy to cry by yourself at home but its probably not a good idea to burst into tears while in a meeting at work. So if you are feeling sad during the day, just tell yourself that you will allow yourself to let it out when you are at home by yourself. This way you can feel like you have some control over the experience.

 

You can actually facilitate your grief by choosing to watch sad movies or listen to sad music. This will evoke your grief and you will cry.... but it will be helping your mind process the loss. Some people need this because they have an urge to block their feelings.

 

Its not a sign of weakness to express grief...its actually a sign of strength.

 

People who allow their grief to flow will be able to move on in a much healthier and stronger mindstate than those who constantly repress and avoid these feelings.

 

Grief flows through us in waves. We feel sad, start crying, feel like we will drown in sorrow, then it gradually subsides and the sadness goes away. We have to let these emotions, sadness, anger, etc, wash over us like waves, knowing that each one is only temporary.

 

I did a lot of crying the first few weeks after my break up- each week, the amount decreased to less and less. Now, I have only cried one small little time in about a week.

 

Grief can eventually turn into clinical depression, though, so if more than a couple of months go by and you cannot eat well, have difficulty sleeping, are tired, have lost interest in doing things you used to enjoy, feel hopeless, are still crying uncontrollably, feel suicidal - any combination of these things - it could mean its becoming clinical depression - and then counseling would be appropriate.

[Thornbirds18]

I do the whole "keeping busy" and "hanging out with friends/family" stuff. Mostly, they seem like just temporary distractions. Anytime I'm alone again, I start thinking and would feel even worse. I hate going to bed. I hate waking up in the morning

 

Distractions are important but you have to fully feel the pain and hurt in order to move on. Distractions alone only help hide your pain and it will attack you sooner or later.