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Confident guys


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I have a question!

 

But first! Some background. I used to think "picking up" girls was all a game. A game that you had to learn how to play properly before talking to women. I thought it was like, only guys with the proper upbringing and life circumstances had any right to hit on girls. Well, I now know that all of that is garbage and its mostly about confidence.

 

My question is....how many guys are confident? What percentage of guys would you say are really confident enough to talk to girls? Because frankly, if 90% of guys were surely confident enough to talk to any girl, I doubt that confidence would be the number 1 factor in talking to women. (Am I wrong? It IS the number 1 factor right?). So basically, my theory is that most guys (at least above 50%) are not very confident and wont hit on most women. This is just a theory though.

 

This comes from when I used to think it was a game. I thought "if its a game, and every guy knows how to play, whats to say the worst loser guy ever who is a sleezebag, learned how to play the game right, then the game would lose all value because everyone knows how to play. Theres no more reason to go by the "game". Well I'm applying that to the confidence thing.

 

So in your opinion, what would you say is the confidence level of most guys? Or, what percentage of guys are confident? Or some other figure or demographic to explain this as.

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Kind of a complex question...

 

Confident enough to talk to girls? I'd say the average guy can. 50%+

 

Confident enough to, in a noisy club, approach a GROUP of women, keep all (target + friends) interested, and close = 10%.

 

Guys considered 9.5 to 10 on the 1-10 scale probably do it with ease, so you've got the low number of supreme hotties + balls to the wall dudes who can make club plays, but most guys can start convos and get dates if they act and look average. If you have below average looks then you need above average game. If you have above average looks then you can adjust as necessary.

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Regardless of confidence, 20% of men sleep with 80% of the women from our age group (20-23). Wrap your mind around that for today then cry yourself to sleep.

 

In the mean time check out tuckermax. com forums as well as the attractionforums. com and start turning your life around.

 

Basically what im saying is that understand that 90% of guys arnt confident enough to talk to good looking women is irrelevant, that .00001% being you is all that matters.

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It's all relative. I know a guy who's roughly 5'11" or so and he looks like a cross between Elvis and John Stamos. He's very insecure and he averages three one-night stands a week while maintaining a girlfriend on the side who knows about this. Sometimes he doesn't even learn the girls' names. But he's got the looks (tall, dark, and handsome) and with the help of that book "The Game", that's all he needs.

 

Mind you, I'd rather drink a gallon of Clorox before following in his footsteps.

 

But, I think it's all relative to the person. Maybe the word "confidence" means different things to different people? Maybe some guys are confident, but need to act and speak with conviction. Or just take a blasé approach and not care at all. Or think of the words of George Carlin and just say "f*** it!".

 

I think, ultimately, we somehow built up the importance and significance of the whole walking-up-to-a-girl-and-saying-hi-and-eventually-getting-her-number thing. Personally, I blame high school.

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What if you're average looking? Will an average looking guy with lots of confidence get more numbers than a model looking guy who's insecure about his looks?

 

The question is, if Bill Gates approached a girl with lots of confidence, and Brad Pitt walked up to her with his head down, not making eye contact, would said girl choose Bill?

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As someone said above, it's complicated.

 

If you looked like Brad Pitt would you need confidence? Women would probably smile at you, talk to you, maybe even approach you. It's be like shooting fish in a barrel. If you look like Bill Gates, then forget it.

 

On the other hand, if you look average then women will not look at you, not smile at you and nothing will happen unless you make it happen.

 

If you're an unattractive man then God help you.

 

Confidence is a factor, there's no doubt about it. Most women don't approach men, which means that men need to be the ones that get things done, which you won't do unless you are confident enough to act. On the other hand, being confident won't suddenly make you good looking, and by approaching a lot of women you might just get rejected a lot more in which case you may well suffer a drop in confidence, so there's a balance to be reached. I think most men address this by approaching women when they think there's a better chance of getting a 'yes' than a 'no'. Women often think that men will always approach women if they are interested (as seen in the terrible terrible, completely inaccurate movie "He's just not into you") but the truth is that men make an assessment based on a large number of factors.

 

So confidence is one factor amongst many. However, I'd rather be good looking and shy than confident.

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big lebowski say F it more than carlin.

 

but that guy has 3 one night stands a week and has a gf and is still insecure?

 

The irony is he has lots of sex BECAUSE he's insecure with himself. At least, that's what he said.

 

Go figure.

 

On the other hand, he pretty much is a hot piece of ass to a lot of girls, so he doesn't have to be confident.

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Thats nonsense, case in point neil strauss; since the game was mentioned thus far, a bald pencil neck, 90 pound man has more game than all of us combined here in this thread.

 

Im a good looking shy guy that doesnt get get tons of women unless i put myself out there, that takes confidence, confidence in yourself and social situations. Sure there are girls that approach me, and sure i get laid but its not like im fending them off as some of the confident average or below average men have to.

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Thats nonsense, case in point neil strauss; since the game was mentioned thus far, a bald pencil neck, 90 pound man has more game than all of us combined here in this thread.

 

Im a good looking shy guy that doesnt get get tons of women unless i put myself out there, that takes confidence, confidence in yourself and social situations. Sure there are girls that approach me, and sure i get laid but its not like im fending them off as some of the confident average or below average men have to.

 

I don't know. I think corvidae made some good points. And, being the one who mentioned The Game, I didn't mention it to praise it. The guy I mentioned lent it to me and after reading the first page, I let it collect dust on my window sill.aa

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What im saying is that what he claims is called a rationalization.

 

Something created by the mind to make mundanity seem like an ok situation. Regardless of the ethics of the game or any success man have with women the fact remains that they took the initiative. They had confidence where the man that doesnt go out, doesnt talk to women, and makes excuses for him does not. That is the difference, not looks.

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I read corvidae's post and saw observations of how society works. He had stated that if you're not as attractive as, say, Brad Pitt, then you have to put effort into your tactics.

 

Which is essentially what you said, except he didn't use terminology from "the game", as you call it.

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Some guys are confident in different areas of their life, not in particular with how well their "game" is or how comfortable they feel to approach a woman. Personally, I think that's a tad bit shallow that if a Man isn't capable of approaching a woman that he gets thrown under the bus as being insecure and not having any confidence within himself. Women have made that rule up and some of us are just as wrong for following it and listening to them.

 

Approaching somebody & beginning casual conversation is honestly not a very easy thing for many people to do. It's got nothing to do with being confident, some people are just not comfortable doing such or not as outgoing to be able to handle a social situation like that.

 

I think I am pretty decent looking, not the best, but I do alright for myself and I very seldom approach women. But it's not because I am not confident in myself, I just honestly don't feel like doing it; enjoying my space right now and don't feel like really being bothered. If I wanted to, I could get out there and get the phone numbers, get the bootycalls -- but it really ain't my style and I am happy where I am at in my life right now.

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Some guys are confident in different areas of their life, not in particular with how well their "game" is or how comfortable they feel to approach a woman. Personally, I think that's a tad bit shallow that if a Man isn't capable of approaching a woman that he gets thrown under the bus as being insecure and not having any confidence within himself. Women have made that rule up and some of us are just as wrong for following it and listening to them.

 

Well said.

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Honestly, we're not going to know without doing some sort of census, and even then, the results would only reflect the data of those who bothered to take it.

 

It's like when people naturally assume everyone loses their virginity in high school, or at the latest, college. They have no basis for believing this, but they do. Just as women just penis size by shoe size.

 

I suppose you can get a satisfactory answer to your question, but in the end, what's that really worth?

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