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Struggling with Attraction Drop in My Girlfriend


Texas2004
Dating Someone Not Attracted To - D...
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Hi everyone,

 

I have been dating a wonderful girl for about 6 months. She is friendly, pretty, smart - everything good you would want in a woman. However, my interest level is just not as high as her. In particular, I am feeling my attraction drop because she is always around (either dates in person, phone, text, etc). I like spending time with her, but I no longer "long" to see her because I never get a chance to miss her. I don't want to breakup, but want to see if we can scale back to recapture some of the magic (if she is less available). She has a hard time understanding how less contact could actually advance the relationship. What are peoples thoughts on this? Does my thinking make sense? How do I help her understand?

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I can see why you've arrived at that conclusion but it's a little worrying that after only 6 months you feel the need to try and 'recapture the magic'. To me this would suggest that once the honeymoon stage of wanting to be with each other constantly is over, you're not actually that keen on her.

 

How much contact are we actually talking? In an average week, how many times will you see her and for the whole day, part of the day etc... and then when you're not with her, you say she texts and calls - is that at reasonable times and intervals, or is she practically all over you every five minutes wanting to chat?

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Hi everyone,

 

I have been dating a wonderful girl for about 6 months. She is friendly, pretty, smart - everything good you would want in a woman. However, my interest level is just not as high as her. In particular, I am feeling my attraction drop because she is always around (either dates in person, phone, text, etc). I like spending time with her, but I no longer "long" to see her because I never get a chance to miss her. I don't want to breakup, but want to see if we can scale back to recapture some of the magic (if she is less available). She has a hard time understanding how less contact could actually advance the relationship. What are peoples thoughts on this? Does my thinking make sense? How do I help her understand?

 

The minute I read 'interest level' and 'feeling my attraction drop' in a post, I suspect I'm dealing with yet another casualty of Doc Love or somebody similar...

 

You've possibly played a game and caught someone without really stopping to think if you LIKE them or not... now it's six months in, the sex is getting a bit 'samey' and there's not much else left.

 

But let's assume I'm wrong... Why don't you want to break up? What's going well? I do sympathise that you need some space, but it's really hard to get it without the woman thinking you want a break. This happened to me last year, the guy said he needed space and I shot off like a rocket! We are together again now and he said the other day that he really HADN'T intended us to break up, but he sees why I thought that! (No long term harm done, he was right - we DID need space!)

 

If you want to talk to her about this, begin by saying all the things which are right for you in the relationship. And reassure her that you aren't going anywhere, but you want to get back that spark and for you that's going to mean having the chance to miss her and look forward to the next contact.

 

I have to say, I do still suspect you have never been into her, rather you have been following some system and got really caught up in it working for you. As I've said on another thread, these things aren't intended to find you the 'right' mate, cos otherwise you'd stop being a client of the author's.

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The minute I read 'interest level' and 'feeling my attraction drop' in a post, I suspect I'm dealing with yet another casualty of Doc Love or somebody similar...

 

You've possibly played a game and caught someone without really stopping to think if you LIKE them or not... now it's six months in, the sex is getting a bit 'samey' and there's not much else left.

 

 

 

this sounds like you have something really interesting to say, could you elaborate on the above, i have felt like this for a while (six months aswell), why? because i hurt when shes not there, and when she is, i inside cant wait for her to go so i can get my own space for a few hours.

 

sorry to hijack this thread

 

speranza please feel free to pm me if you can help.

 

cheers

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