I feel like a cold b*** :(

[limelight]

Hi all very long sorry!!

 

Well myself and a once close friend of mine have been slowing drifting apart for years, ive known her since 14 and we used to spend all our time together. We are 23 now. We have met new people and although we continued to meet up and hang out we lead pretty separate lives. I tried to include her in my plans and but she often refused invitations as she isnt someone who is comfortable with ppl she doesnt know that well so i eventually stopped asking. She always had a bit of a rebellous side which im guessing is alot to do with her family being rather strict when we were growing up. She became increasingly self involved and only seemed to want to see me when she was at a loose end and wanted me to drop whatever i was doing to see her there and then.

 

She didnt have alot of respect for my opinons and would often sulk into getting her own way. Anything she borrowed would take months to get back to me. She eventually borrowed two handbags which i repeatedly asked her to return never to see them again till till 6 months later when one turned up on her arm half multilated I partly blame myself for things getting worse as im not somene who finds confrontation easy and i ended up just letting little incidents go.

 

On a night out she gets very drunk and embarrassing and i end up babysitting her and being made to feel boring/selfish if i want to leave early or express disproveful in anyway. I guess i feel she just hasnt grown up at all since 14. She cant do anything by herself without having a friend help her and doesnt seem to have any desire for any form of independance. The final blow came this week when we went to bar having barely seen each other for 3 months and she was boasting about her various nocturnal activites (unprotected sex drugs and getting thrown out of clubs) and i just felt id had enough. Then she almost threw up in the taxi. I felt it all build up on me at once and i sent her this text the next day:

 

Im sorry to say this but i do feel that we have nothing in common anymore. I think our friendship has run its course. I dont mean any disrespect to you but we are just different people We have known eachothe a long time but we cant kid ourselves we are the close friends we once were. Its noones fault we have just moved on. I wish you the best of luck finding a new job. im sorry x

 

I felt intantly guily about sending a text but i felt i coulnt express it in person as i knew she would either start wailing or shouting. I feel like abit of a coward. At the time i was thinking of all the negative stuff in this post but id also add that there were also many happy memories and times when she was there for me and im not admiting to always being a perfect friend myself. Sorry for being so long had to let it out x

[Crazyaboutdogs]

I probably just would have let that friendship naturally fizzle rather than sending her the text. It was fizzling anyway. All you had to do was refuse next time she asked you to get together. If there are several months in between get togethers it is clear that the relationship is fizzling and she was feeling it on her side as well. Friendships are not the same as dating in the sense that there doesn't need to be a "break up talk". You both pretty much felt the same way about how the friendship was going so it would have naturally faded out completely. At any rate, you sent her the text and you shouldn't feel like a cold b*** given how this woman behaved.

[Dancergirl425]

My best friend from high school was going through a rough patch during our second yr of college and so was I. She was becoming a horrible friend and eventually I told her I needed some space (almost as if we were dating and went on a break). Eight months later we met up and we both have our lives together and are friends again and can hang out. I felt guilty for needing space especially when she needed me most, but sometimes you need to do what's best for you. Maybe in a few yrs from now she'll have her life together you and you guys can meet up and chat.

[top bloke]

Dont feel guilty . Enough is enough is definitely enough. When the chips are down some relationship we just dont need..fair move.

[wayoverit]

OP needs to do some growing up as well. What you did is a bad thing to a friendship. Instead of writing "I don't like you anymore" you should have asked her "what's wrong?". You should dare to be your true self. I hope she can come out of this hurtful text and savage this friendship, assuming there was any from the beginning.

 

"A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out."

~ Walter Winchell

[limelight]

Wayoverit i do see your point and perhaps your right but as i said this has been building up for a long time and as far as shes concerned shes having a great time with her friends and her lifestyle and thinks im uptight for not being more like her. I think both of us jus dragged the friendship on longer than its sell by date because we felt we were obligated to.