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Talking too much...


enola

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I talk too much.

Whenever someone- someone that I'm 'interested in', in specific- starts a conversation with me I end up talking too much and taking the lead in the conversation, so to speak. It's something I wish I could somehow change. I always tell myself not to talk too much, but end up doing it anyways. After I'm done the convesation (be it in person, on the phone, over the net, whatever) I end up thinking back on some of the stuff I said and then feel like an idiot.

 

Is anyone else out there like this? Have you tried to change it? If so, how?

 

There's this one girl... when she starts a conversation with me I just don't want to stop talking with her/to her. I really like her a lot... Do you guys think maybe it's some sort of a seperation issue? I feel that if I keep talking she'll keep listening and thus won't leave?

 

I always start asking mysel questions about the things I just said and then end up feeling stupid. It's so weird.

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When it comes to people you're interested in, it's probably better to talk too much than too little. A lot of people will completely freeze up around the person they like, and will be overlooked because they have nothing to say. Even if you're talking too much, at least you're being noticed and showing your confidence and personality. Just remember that a good conversation goes both ways. You should be talking WITH them, not AT them.

 

I talk too much, also. Not just around people I like, but in general. It's really not as big of a problem as I make it out to be in my head, but it is something I've had to check myself on. It helps to ask a question when you feel like you're starting to dominate the conversation to give the other person a turn to speak. Also, stay attuned to the vibe the other person is sending off. If they seem bored or like they're trying to leave, it's probably a good time to end the conversation.

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If you like the girl try asking the questions and listen when she talks. I think most women wouldn't mind you asking them the right questions, just shows you are interested in them. And if she is interested in you I'm sure she'll ask you questions then then you can go off!

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I used to wish I had that problem, but I've since decided that I'm cool with being an introvert.

 

Now, if only I could get other people to agree with me

 

Talking too much will not hold you back much at all. Everyone loves the outgoing guy.

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I think it's a nervous reaction. Some people totally clam up, and others suffer verbal diahorea (sp?). So yes, I would have to agree with you when you say "Do you guys think maybe it's some sort of a seperation issue? I feel that if I keep talking she'll keep listening and thus won't leave?". I think that's exactly what your problem is.

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I think it's a nervous reaction. Some people totally clam up, and others suffer verbal diahorea (sp?). So yes, I would have to agree with you when you say "Do you guys think maybe it's some sort of a seperation issue? I feel that if I keep talking she'll keep listening and thus won't leave?". I think that's exactly what your problem is.

 

I agree, at least for myself. And maybe you'll relate.

 

It just takes extra effort to be aware of it, and when riled up (either nervous, excited, whatever) to stop every once in a while and take a deep breath. Look around. See if any eyes are glazing over, or if someone is moving towards the door. LOL.

 

And at some point I just decided that I wasn't going to analyze or beat myself up about if I do talk too much. So what? Sure, sometimes it might be the less than ideal thing, but it's not the end of the world. Just when you notice it starting to go speeding and it feels like a runaway train, stop and take a minute. Maybe turn the attention to someone else for a while. Listen.

 

It's not all bad. Listening is a good trait too though. Going for balance, I guess. We're all trying to all the time - so don't sweat it.

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I love it when guys talk a lot. I don't feel like I'm forcing them into a conversation.

 

That said, I like guys who don't talk too much about themselves. I recently dated a guy who went on and on about how much money he has, how many famous people his family knows, how many cars he has at his disposal, blah blah blah. I tried for an hour to tell him I had to go but I couldn't get a word in edgewise! So make sure you're revealing interesting things about yourself but also asking her questions/giving her an opportunity to do the same.

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