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npsgnome

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I'm starting to think my gf is a selfish lover, or she is just getting bored with our sex life. When we first started dating the sex and the sexual chemistry bertween us was downright amazing! It was truly the best sex I have ever had...we dated long distance for the first 4 months, then after that i moved here to be with her. (we lived about 6 hours apart), then my anxiety started kicking in and I started to pre-mature ejaculate. our sex went from daily, to evry 3 days or so, to now about once a week, or once every 2 weeks. and only on the weekends.

The reason I think why I have started to PE is because i feel like there is too much pressure put on me, she is big on us orgasaming together and trying to live up to that everytime was becoming difficult. also my anxiety of living in her house (which still does not feel like my home, we have been living together for 10 months now) Finacial stress is also a factor, I have a full time job and make ok money but she has expected me in the past to get a great job so I can look after her and her kid, which i don't think is fair. She is coming to terms with that but, has said before "she is trying not to get angry about it"

Also with our sex life she barely touches me at all during sex. she will most of the time just lie there. Half the time I am wondering if she is even interested in me at all, and just wants the orgasam. She is also way more experienced then me so she is constantly telling me what to do..I lost my virginity at the age of 24(32 now)nd have only had a few sexual partners. My stanima has never really been that great. I use to be able to perform upto a half an hour with her, but now I ussually go within the first few minutes, if not half..is it because of my Pr sexual routine now ussually consists of me going down on her, or using my fingers (which she complains I'm to rough with) and then I enter her when she is about to orgasam or after she has.

Another pressure she has put on me is that she has told on a few accounts that she is use to guys giving it to her all night long. I don't think I could ever live up to that. I know if I was relaxed and not so worried i could last for 30 minutes. I use to be able to..but not all night long, or for hours....she also once gave me an ultimatium that if the sex didn't get better in a year she'd leave me, then after sex she said she would give me 2 cause of all the rubbing I do for her...as mentioned in my other thread (lack of affection...in the relationship area)

I'm not sure what to do here. I once talked to her about the lack of touching and it changed for the one time after that then went back to normal. I don't know. Is it because of my premature ejaculation or is she just a selfish lover? well I got to goto work....going to be late...

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Sorry dude but she sounds like she is a big ole user and loser. If I really cared about someone and wasn't 100% happy with our sex life, I would give (a lot) more and help more, talk more, coach more to try to bring it up to par. I may not know a lot about men, but I do know the single worst thing a woman can do to her man's psyche is harp on him about performance or threaten him (talk about instant limp * * * * ). What a jerk!

 

As for the financial thing, if she is expecting you to pick the tab for her and someone else's kid, well... she should go get herself a better job, stat!!! I would never have a problem with one partner supporting the other, but it has to be EARNED and she is trying to walk all over you. I wouldn't blame you for resenting her. Another way to hurt a man where he lives is to tell him he's a lousy provider.

 

I pray that she finds another chump and leaves you for him, then you will be free to meet and love a woman who will love you with all her heart, which has nothing to do with sexual performance or income level.

 

Best of luck my dear.

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she also once gave me an ultimatium that if the sex didn't get better in a year she'd leave me, then after sex she said she would give me 2 cause of all the rubbing I do for her...as mentioned in my other thread (lack of affection...in the relationship area)

 

Excuse my language, but my honest response when I read that was "what the * * * * type of * * * * is that?"

 

I'm not sure what to do here. I once talked to her about the lack of touching and it changed for the one time after that then went back to normal. I don't know. Is it because of my premature ejaculation or is she just a selfish lover?

 

It could be both. She also sounds like a selfish person. Maybe on top of that outside issues are negatively affecting her attraction to you. It sounds like she's losing interest. Regardless of what the reasons are, ask yourself if you want to be with someone who is angry you're not taking care of her and her kid and is also willing to leave you because you won't give it to her good by her deadline.

 

I haven't walked one step in your shoes, but based on what you've said here, I hope you tell her to kick rocks.

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she's a selfish witch. i would never put those demands on my partners. whatever works in the bedroom for both of us, is what we do...be it 10 minutes or 2 hours. who cares? there's so much more to lovemaking...and it's supposed to be FUN!!!!! she is very selfish and cruel. drop her like a cold fish.

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Excuse me if this comes off a bit harsh, but you seem to be the woman in this relationship. You moved to be with her. You moved into her house. She wants you taking care of her kid and is now giving you ultimatums based on sexual performance??

 

I'd put on some pants if I were you.

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You're 32 years old and you allow a woman (or anyone come to think about it) to talk to you like that?.. Come on man, wth are you thinking of?

 

She isn't so much selfish or bored , from what you say it sounds like she doesn't even like or respect you. I feel a break-up coming on... so beat her to it and dump the abusive *****.

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Excuse me if this comes off a bit harsh, but you seem to be the woman in this relationship. You moved to be with her. You moved into her house. She wants you taking care of her kid and is now giving you ultimatums based on sexual performance??

 

I'd put on some pants if I were you.

 

Yes...I think this is more the problem than anything. You seem to be a doormat and she is walking all over you. BUT you let her! Years ago I dated a man just like you and I lasted for a while, but I had to dump him. He was so clingy, needy and such a pushover that I lost all repsect for him. I didnt want to have sex with him because I saw him as a sniveling little girl.

 

Your gf sounds like me. She needs a strong, opinioned man who will not let her run overtop of him. She needs someone she can repsect and admire.

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She is literally walking all over you (based on how you wrote your post).

 

I wouldn't spend more than a few weeks having sex with a woman like that. The minute it went south and she showed true colors.....next.

 

Don't get played.

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thanks for all the advice. I know I need to put some pants on and step upto the plate and be a man! I have let women take control for to long in my life, I'm a people pleaser, and it has got me no where. Nice guys finish last cause they put everyone else in front of them first and end up getting walked all over! I'm sick of being her doormat, or any womans doormat for that matter! I'm sick of her plopping her feet on my lap, and twitchi9ng her feet when she wants me to massage them!and sick of the one way sex, and not getting want I want! I need to stand up for myself, and if that ends the relationship so be it! Now I just have to follow through.....I need to grow a pair!

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thanks for all the advice. I know I need to put some pants on and step upto the plate and be a man! I have let women take control for to long in my life, I'm a people pleaser, and it has got me no where. Nice guys finish last cause they put everyone else in front of them first and end up getting walked all over! I'm sick of being her doormat, or any womans doormat for that matter! I'm sick of her plopping her feet on my lap, and twitchi9ng her feet when she wants me to massage them! I need to stand up for myself, and if that ends the relationship so be it! Now I just have to follow through.....I need to grow a pair!

 

Yes you are right. The man that I dated was just like that...a people pleaser always putting everyone before himself. This is a good quality, in moderation, meaning you step up and say "no" from time to time when yoiu dont want to do something. My ex never did that. This is really a big character change and it wont happen overnight. But I think it would help you to be more assertive and more confident, not only with your gf, but in everyday life.

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Yes you are right. The man that I dated was just like that...a people pleaser always putting everyone before himself. This is a good quality, in moderation, meaning you step up and say "no" from time to time when yoiu dont want to do something. My ex never did that. This is really a big character change and it wont happen overnight. But I think it would help you to be more assertive and more confident, not only with your gf, but in everyday life.

 

Thanks, I have known all this before I started this thread, and I have been making changes, but it is a hard habit to break! I constantly seek the aproval of the woman in my life. Maybe it stems from the fact that my mom died when I was really young, and I have been seeking aproval and affection from woman cause I never got it from a mother figure (I did when she was around)....well Its time for a change. I need to not seek the aproval of others and have confidence in myself! not try to get confidence from others! I hold the key to my own happiness, no one else does!

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