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Everything he does points the fact that I'm probably getting played in this situation, yet I continue to turn a blind eye.

 

We were together a year and half, broke up in March, but have remained good friends since. We've continued to be very flirty with one another, even a few hugs and kisses thrown in there. I think I want to get back with him, but deep down I know its not worth it and not the best choice for me.

 

Well tonight i was talking to one of his good friends and he made a comment about how I'm "still in competition with his ex" and how "my bf is quite the player" (he said it jokingly but it still made me think). I know they are still good friends (maybe more? idk) and she was part of the reason we broke up. He continued to want her in his life despite the numerous times she treated me crap and did childish stuff to try to break us up (idk how you could want to be friends with someone who is going to try to sabotage stuff in your life?! but i guess thats why she's his friend and not mine lol).

 

So now I'm starting to realize that possibly everything my ex says to me is just that... meaningless words. He doesn't back anything with actions. It seems like he just wants me to be that "fall back girl," the girl he knows will always be there for him and ready to take him back at any second.

 

I would like to think I'm strong enough to walk away from this before I get hurt again but I'm just not sure if I am or not. He's like a toxic drug and I just keep going back to him. Hopefully realizing the kind of guy he really is will be enough to make me realize that I can do SO much better. This was my first relationship and I just hope and pray that my next boyfriend will show me what it's really like to be in love. I thought I loved this guy but if THIS really was love... then love sucks!

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It might sound a little strange but in life you need to see yourself like a garbage lady, you need to throw all the negativity OUT of your life! Its just like dirt cleaning, if you don't throw the garbage out , the stuff will start rotting and smelling bad and before you know it your life is infested bugs causing you bad health. Toxic as you say ,

 

Personally i don't think either he or his friend are worth of your time. You know why don't you just focus on your career and get everything in your life arranged, and then find a stable guy in the end. You know the mature type that has already been thru a lot of things and has reached a state of peace in his mind and who would just want to settle down with you. That's a lot better then all these guys who are just messing around with you that you are surrounding yourself with now. Or in other words, get something better, something that's worth your time. These guys are just a waste of time and you should be carefull not to fall back in bad behaviour.

 

Sometimes you need to do what is right, even tho your body constantly wants to go back. Listen to your gut instinct, its correct, if you feel this guy is no good for you, then you should steer away from him.

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