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Hi all,

 

I just recently (3 months ago) agreed to breaking up with my ex of 3 + years (we lived together in my house, shared a dog we both found, etc). Without knowing anything about Narcissism, I chose to block him from calling, emailing, etc. It made it much easier for me to walk away and not look back, while emotionally dealing with all the pain he had caused over the last 3 years. I have never been so happy in my life as I have been since early June. I started thinking about myself first and began branching out with new friends, traveling, etc.

 

Just recently I found out from his mother who called me that his roommate/new friend/my old roommate had died in a motorcycle accident. Throughout the course of that week while trying to sort through my own feelings of the accident, and of course the additional feelings towards my ex that were now resurfacing, I was getting flack from a few people about how I was dealing with things. 3 separate people who unfortunately also had contact with my ex told me I was not moving on. I was stunned because from an outsider looking in, my life was completely different. I have been enjoying life, redecorated, made new friends, dated, etc. I became happy finally and realized I didnt need him or want him in my life.

 

In the three months that we have not had anything to do with each other, I have contacted him a total of twice through text - once to tell him I hope he had successful surgery and another to tell him he could pick up his printer that he left and if he didnt want it - I would leave it for the trash to pick up. Neither contact was for any other reason and I left the lines of communication closed to not allow for any type of response. I've dealt with people like him before and I do not want to try to reconnect in anyway. Nothing positive can ever come out of it.

 

The other day my old roommate (who also knew the guy who died in the motorcycle accident) told me after talking to my ex about the funeral, etc. that I had not moved on and that avoiding him was not moving on. I was really angry and couldnt understand where this was coming from. She went on to say that maybe he felt that by me still keeping him blocked and blacklisted, that I hadnt moved forward and was still in the same place I was 3 months ago. I cut off the conversation and said I dont care what he thinks hence the fact he has nothing to do with my life.

 

I have heard he has moved on and started dating someone else, and is VERY happy in his life. To be honest, I wasnt surprised and I dont particularly care. But what I dont understand is this - why does it matter to him so much that he is blocked and has nothing to do with my life, making a big deal that I am avoiding him, if he has completely moved on? Of course initially I felt like I should unblock him, and held off from doing so.

 

Is this a normal thing for narcissists to do?

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Ya, I'm with Greywolf. If your trying to move on, who cares how he percieves your actions.

Now that ya'll are broke up it's just about you. And if he's so upset maybe he'll try and be friends with you.

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gdoggie, my ex and his friends have done the same; Where I will try my hardest to move on and be happy in my life again, my ex would try all these things just so I can talk to him again. Some people cannot comprehend that the person that loved and cared for them so much finally just moves on, and it bothers them when it happens. I was a mess when the break up happened, and my ex even told everyone how "crazy" I am.

 

So I moved along, didn't try and care anymore, and the last few contacts was him trying to reel me back in by getting me jealous. Sorta like a "testing the waters" method to see if I'm still interested in him. But I didn't bite, I told him I was happy for him and his new girlfriend, and he got stumped. LOL!

 

So just move along and quit worrying what your ex says about you. Sounds like he wanted an ego boost and you not being there made him grumpy. How pathetic!

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It sounds like he's inventing reasons why you're "not moving on" because he doesn't want to acknowledge that you have, in fact, moved on. It seems like a typical narcissistic thing to do. Just ignore him and keep doing what you're doing.

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