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Relationship confusion and the past is back. Please help!


Tricia23
Starting Over In a Relationship - B...
Starting Over In a Relationship - Beginners Guide

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I will try to make this story as short as I can. Back in 1999 I started dating my highschool sweetheart. He was my first real boyfriend. We dated for almost 2 years and then broke up. We went on and dated other people. Well back in 2006 we met back up for the very first time since our breakup in 2000. I was in a relationship at the time but it was on the verge of ending anyways. So my highschool sweetheart and I started dating. We had a great relationship. But around 2007 it started to get rocky. We fought alot and had several issues. We broke up got back together a few times too. There were times where we weren't nice to each other also. We eventually tried to patch things up for quite awhile. He eventually proposed in October of 2008. I accepted. Well needless to say we ended up calling off the engagement and broke up. My family was relieved. They thought I deserved much better.

 

I currently am in a new relationship. I have been for 8 months. It's a good relationship but being in a relationship longer than 4 months is all new to him so I feel like I'm babysitting. It's tough but somehow we make it work. Well anyways my ex and I have always been cool with each other but last week Tuesday he dropped the bomb on me. He has feelings for me again. I know it's probably not right for me to care but I do. I loved him more than anybody I've ever loved in my whole life. If Anyone of my other ex's tried to get me back I honestly wouldn't care. It's just him that has always been a part of me. If my family found out he was trying to be with me again they would be furious. They don't like him at all. But honestly my happiness is most important. I'm happy with my current bf but there are so many qualities ge lacks compared to my ex. I'm extremely confused right now. My heart is tugging me into 2 different directions. My current bf wants done things I do but not anytime soon. I'm wanting to start a family get married etc and my ex was always for it. I just need some advice on what to do. Please help in anyway. I'd appreciate it very much.

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your happiness is whats important

 

im worried though, that if you get back together you all may have the same problems you did before and then end up breaking it off again when you could have still been in a relationship with ur current boyfriend.

 

its not uncommon for your heart and mind to be in constant conflict. just weigh the pros and cons before you do anything.

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Here's a prediction for you, you won't end up with either one of them. It's pretty obvious to an outsider that your current doesn't give you what you need, and your ex is incapable of giving it to you long term. You'll eventually dump your current bf, maybe you'll get back with your ex, but the same cycle of events that have happened before will happen again. You couldn't expect anything different this time around.

 

Although you might not be able to take this advice (through no fault of your own, you can't control your emotions and can only control your actions to a certain degree), the best thing for you to do would be to make yourself as available as possible to meeting a guy who's everything you want. That is if you don't like wasting your time.

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Haha heloladies I thought I was the only one that pointed out the brutal truth of "usually happens" on enotalone. I second what he said, and add that it is very hard for people to let relationships from their youth go. People feel a special connection to relationships of their youth because it is part of their past. The truth is that this has nothing to do with compatibility, and the good moments in a relationship that is rekindled from a past one are the times that you think about the past. If it didn't work its probably not going to. And just to be honest: I had a girlfriend that I thought I was going to be with for a LONG time leave me for her forbidden love from highschool/middleschool. He dumped her after a year, as per my predictions at the start of the relationship. She claimed to have been in love with him throughout our entire relationship and was just "keepign it buried", so maybe I am biased.

 

Still I ultimately believe that 90% of relationships get one good chance and that's it.

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Here's a prediction for you, you won't end up with either one of them. It's pretty obvious to an outsider that your current doesn't give you what you need, and your ex is incapable of giving it to you long term. You'll eventually dump your current bf, maybe you'll get back with your ex, but the same cycle of events that have happened before will happen again. You couldn't expect anything different this time around.

 

Although you might not be able to take this advice (through no fault of your own, you can't control your emotions and can only control your actions to a certain degree), the best thing for you to do would be to make yourself as available as possible to meeting a guy who's everything you want. That is if you don't like wasting your time.

 

Third. I agree with this.

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