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I am still baffled by my breakup and the more I think about how it went the more whys I have. (dont' worry I'm not asking him

 

I was just noticing as I was going through old emails we had written (I know it's sad) that we had a whole email name game going on. I was calling him a bad name for a while, and then changed it back to his name. He had been calling me my name for a while and then changed it to a pet name he used to call me. Now it's back to my name again because we are fighting again.

But why call your ex a pet name?

 

He goes back and forth between being really nice and really mean. But even when we were getting along really well, he still maintained that we weren't going to get back together.

 

I know it's stupid and it doesn't really matter and I really need to delete the old emails.

But does anyone else feel like their ex has them on a yo-yo?

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my ex told me he wanted to be friends... yet i've never heard from him again (bout a month ago we broke up). i think eventually after constant thoughts day to day of why... you just give up!! there's nothing else you can do. we may never know why... and there's nothing we can do about that either (i'm talking about all the ppl who seemingly had happy relationships and the other person leaves out of blue). it's ok to let the why and what ifs linger for awhile bc eventually you will not be able to take it anymore and will say screw it!

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Ya, I shouldn't either. And I'm on day 2 of NC (3wks if you exclude fights).

 

I'm always unsure of the NC situation, and in ours it was impossible for a while (both by choice and by situation).

This is not our second big break-up and I know that when it was really over the first time. He closed up shop quick fast and in a hurry, cut all ties between us immediately and was on his way.

 

This time it just seems like he was drawing our connects out. Trying to maintain contact, trying to be friends, trying to flirt, trying to do all of these things.

He's not the kind of guy that would ever do the big grand gesture. So I wonder if he was trying to get closer this way without putting himself in a vulnerable spot. And if that is what he was doing, was I wrong for not being more receptive to that since I wanted to get back together?

I don't know, I think that maybe he shouldn't have been so defensive while that was going on. But was being defensive a deal breaker? No, not really.

I don't know, just thinking I guess.

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Exes yo-yo because their emotions are just as up and down as yours are.

 

Just because they did the breaking up doesn't mean they don't still hold some affection for you. There must have been something there in the first place or you wouldn't have gotten together at all. So they're nice, because they still want to be nice to you on some levels.

 

But... when you fight with an ex, there is the added component that they will feel resentful to you for causing them distress when you're not even together any more. I don't know exactly why but I know I get this. When my ex gets emotional around me, although it makes me sad it also makes me angry, because we're not together yet I'm still being put through the wringer because of HIS feelings. You're trying to treat each other like friends, but if you still fight about stuff like a couple, it breeds nastiness and resentment.

 

So, basically it sucks for everyone and no ones happy about it.

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