kevin456 Posted July 21, 2009 Share Posted July 21, 2009 If your ex is at one of these relationship crossroads, can that work to the advantage of reconciliation? In recent contact with my ex, she seems to be fighting an internal battle about whether she wants to hang out with me or not. She has been extremely flaky whenever I have asked her to hang out, eluding to other things she has going on or simply ignoring my texts. But whenever I indicate that I'm going to stop pursuing her and talking to her (I'm getting tired of waiting), she does a 180 and is ready to hang out with me. This has happened (via text) on more than one occasion. I was ready to stop talking to her after sending these texts, but she ends up turning around as if to say no don't go yet. It's hard for me to imagine what her mind set could be, given that I have no idea about the dynamics of her current relationship. Is it a good sign that she ultimately has agreed to hang out with me, even though she has flaked? Keep in mind she is in a relationship (8 months) but has indicated to me that it's not exactly a loving connection anymore. I'm also not 100% sure she is still dating this guy. This would be our first face-to-face contact since I saw her briefly at a social event 8 months ago, so it should be interesting to see how we interact. We are supposed to hang out this week, although I'm half expecting her to back out of these plans too. Link to comment
sparkles4 Posted July 21, 2009 Share Posted July 21, 2009 It sounds like she doesn't want you back, but she doesn't want you gone. She just wants to keep you around as a security blanket in case things don't work out with her guy. Link to comment
Mia_of_Doom Posted July 21, 2009 Share Posted July 21, 2009 It sounds like she doesn't want you back, but she doesn't want you gone. She just wants to keep you around as a security blanket in case things don't work out with her guy. Ditto that. Link to comment
arwen Posted July 21, 2009 Share Posted July 21, 2009 After having an on-and-off relationship like that, my rule of thumb has become that I can't commit to someone who is not sure they want to be with me. Link to comment
Ivory_Tower Posted July 21, 2009 Share Posted July 21, 2009 It just isn't fair for someone to keep you in limbo. They either want to be with you or they don't. It isn't..."I want to be with you, ish." Link to comment
kevin456 Posted July 21, 2009 Author Share Posted July 21, 2009 Exactly, which is why I basically gave her an ultimatum. Link to comment
moonbug Posted July 21, 2009 Share Posted July 21, 2009 First you need to know what *you* want. Do you want to get back with her? As a boyfriend? If yes, then her flakiness won't do. You need to tell her that she needs to be sure, one way or the other. She can't just keep you hanging. On the other hand, if you are ok with being friends and her having a boyfriend, then I don't think it should matter. Friends will be flaky all the time. They will cancel plans every now and then. They will lose contact for a brief periods too. Don't take it too much to heart if you are ok with being friends. Think of all your other friends. I am sure that you have a lot of friends who don't stay in touch, cancel plans last minute etc. It doesn't bother you as much right? So first decide for yourself. And then take it up with her. Link to comment
divz21 Posted July 21, 2009 Share Posted July 21, 2009 shes definitely wants you as a security blanket.. so give her an ultimatum if you really want her back..atleast then you will know where u stand.. Link to comment
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