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We have been arguing for a whole week!!


mca1975
Happy 1st Month to my GladysJane :)
Happy 1st Month to my GladysJane :)

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Hi all,

 

What does this mean? One week ago, me and my BF were in a very good place. We were both very happy and were looking forward to moving in together, we were very excited.

 

Since then, he has had severe money/work troubles, he has been very down. We are usually so good at cheering each other up when we both feel like that, but all it does is frustrate me to high heaven at the moment.

 

I have PMT and money troubles myself.

 

I find him so highly-strung and nearly always frustrated a lot, because he is not happy work-wise. He can be a little fussy too, which I find a bit annoying. I hate saying these things, because I do love him and he has plenty of good qualities and we have lots of things in common, but what does it mean?

 

Is it normal to find some things so annoying? I get annoyed because he tends to moan without actually doing anything about it and then when I make suggestions or try to make him feel better, he just will not budge, which infuriates me! It's making me feel like not being around him at the moment!

 

I am so hoping that this is just a phase we are going through due to the stresses we are both under.

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Hi BrokenLisa, long time no "speak", lol.

 

It's basically I can't take him moaning about work and money. I don't have the answers and when I try and make him feel better and it doesn't work, I just feel frustrated and angry. To a certain extent, I think he is a bit of a baby sometimes seeing as he is 36, for a guy. I'm not sure if that's an unfair statement or not, because I know it's widely known that men can be like that at times, and I know I can be also.

 

We are not arguing about anything else, like changing channel on the telly, or what to have for dinner, it just seems to be that - money and work.

 

I am thinking now that maybe I feel too responsible for his feelings, which I am very prone to in relationships. Its just what I'm like. I am the sort of person that if he answers the phone and sounds down in the dumps, then I feel down in the dumps and it ruins my day, then I feel totally depressed and angry.

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Thank you, we did speak not long ago and I remained very calm. He said just that, instead of me getting frustrated and angry at him when he is voicing his worries, he just wants me to say "I'm here for you".

 

I get frustrated when I can't help someone. I feel like he is looking to me for the answer, and I cannot provide it!

 

I love him but the constant moaning and worrying is just too much sometimes. I am a worrier myself. Maybe I cannot support someone else who is the same??

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Thank you, we did speak not long ago and I remained very calm. He said just that, instead of me getting frustrated and angry at him when he is voicing his worries, he just wants me to say "I'm here for you".

 

I get frustrated when I can't help someone. I feel like he is looking to me for the answer, and I cannot provide it!

 

I love him but the constant moaning and worrying is just too much sometimes. I am a worrier myself. Maybe I cannot support someone else who is the same??

 

wow, see this guy sounds like me and you sound like my boyfriend. My guy is solution oriented and I just want encouragement when I'm down, I just want to know he is on my side.

 

I think what may be frustrating your boyfriend, (just as I am frustrated by the solutions I am offered while upset) is he already KNOWS what the solution is. He doesn't NEED a solution from you. He knows what needs to be done. At least in my case, I am already actively working on the solution... hopefully he is too. What we lack is encouragement and understanding from our significant other. WE just need to hear, "I'm on your side, I know you'll get through this and I support you"

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