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Lying to oneself (in the case of "victim" mentality)


Seymore
Have You Been Lied To In a Relation...
Have You Been Lied To In a Relationship?

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I tend to think way too much into things sometimes, but this was a random thought that popped into my head and I analyzed it. Sorry in advance if it's hard to follow, and I might be completely wrong here, but to me it just seemed like food for thought, and I wonder what others think about this.

 

Say you have person X. Everyone knows someone like person X, they are the ones who believe the world wronged them. You wronged them, their family, friends, everyone wronged them. Maybe everyone HAS wronged them, and in this case, the following situation doesn't apply.

 

But say person X has actually wronged their family, friends, you, etc. How true can the following be:

 

Person X refuses to believe that they are the ones who have committed anything wrong, so he makes it seem like they have been wronged by everyone else in order to make it seem like they aren't as abnormal as person X really is, almost bringing the others to their level so as not to be "different". Person X could bring himself down to the level of his friends and family, who really aren't bad people or ones who have wronged him at all, but in order for person X to bring himself "down" to their level, he would have to change himself. That is impossible as long as person X cannot see the wrong he is doing, so the only other alternative is to bring them to his level and adopt the victim mentality. Person X lies to himself in order to feel more like everyone else and not this nasty person he really is. It's so much easier than looking inside to find his own fault.

 

Does this make any sense? I'm not saying all people who have the "victim" frame of mind are just lying to themselves and making excuses that everyone else is wrong and they're fine, but I often wonder how many people portray themselves as the victim in relation to others in order to feel less bad about themselves?

 

Thoughts? And no, I'm not high.

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Everyone knows someone like person X, they are the ones who believe the world wronged them. You wronged them, their family, friends, everyone wronged them.

 

I often wonder how many people portray themselves as the victim in relation to others in order to feel less bad about themselves?

I actually DO know someone like person X, and he's exactly like you describe above, lol. And yes, he also acts like the world owes him a living, he's always the victim and has never done any wrong, etc etc.

 

I'm not sure though that he portrays himself as a victim in order to feel less bad about himself, simply because I think he honestly believes so strongly that he IS always right, and that he is NEVER wrong and everyone else is to blame for whatever is going on, etc etc.

 

That said, no doubt many of these people do play the victim in order to feel less bad about themselves.

 

(btw, another great topic)

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I actually DO know someone like person X, and he's exactly like you describe above, lol. And yes, he also acts like the world owes him a living, he's always the victim and has never done any wrong, etc etc.

 

I'm not sure though that he portrays himself as a victim in order to feel less bad about himself, simply because I think he honestly believes so strongly that he IS always right, and that he is NEVER wrong and everyone else is to blame for whatever is going on, etc etc.

 

That said, no doubt many of these people do play the victim in order to feel less bad about themselves.

 

(btw, another great topic)

 

Thanks I thought I'd have people saying I'm smoking crack, but it looks like someone got it, so that's good

 

I forgot to add that, that there are people who simply, truly believe they are always right and never wrong.

 

I guess what I'm basing this on is the theory we learned as kids: "They're calling you names because they really have no self-esteem". That's what made me think: Are some of these people calling others names to feel better about themselves, and if so, how does it make them feel better about themselves - is it because by insulting you and making it seem like something's wrong with YOU, the contrast between your "goodness" and their "badness" is lessened, and they feel more "normal"?

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My parents are like this. They will blame their friends, me, my sister, Australia, the Western world, each other, their jobs, their illnesses, the devil, God.. anyone but themselves for anything that goes wrong absolutely EVER.

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I don't think you're smoking crack. I was with someone like this. And he was everything you described.

 

However, as for the name calling and such I know I'm guilty of doing that and it isn't about my self-esteem. My ex had hurt me so badly so many times that that hurt would spill out by me yelling and name-calling ( I know - wrong of me ) but the hurt was just so much that I didn't know of a healthier way of releasing it.

 

My ex was the same way, I was just wondering if people delude themselves in such a fashion to where they have to be "equal" to everyone else.

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Oh, does that bring back memories. You couldn't even play a board game with him without him taking it way too seriously.

 

Unfortunately, I had a better job, I was more book smart, had more common sense, so it made it hard for him to ever match me at anything. He finished college and is nothing more than help desk support while I didn't finish because of him and I'm a software manager. The only thing he had were computer games and even then I was a modder for my game while all he new how to do was drive racing cars while in real-life he's not a great driver at all.

 

Fortunately for him, he's with someone a lot less intelligent than himself now so hopefully he can find some happiness in his life.

 

lol. I remember my ex almost bragging to me about the time she kicked her friends out of her apartment over a stupid board game. Yeeeeeah....that's a feather in your cap right there

 

That's when it becomes more of a competition than a relationship. Bad stuff.

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I think what you're saying makes a lot of sense, and I've definitely come accross people like you've described. Some people will do nothing but crappy things to others, and then act surprised and play the victim when people do crappy things in return.

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