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don't drink anymore, feel like big loser!


emma34

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I'm 22. Since i was 15 i have drank and partied quite a bit. I recently decided to cut back on the drinking...not to say that i drank alot, but i gues in the last couple years my hangovers have gotten to the point where its really not worth it. So anyway, i'm at the point now where i'll have a couple beers with friends, or a glass of wine with dinner, but i don't get drunk or binge drink ever.

 

I'm very happy with my decision, thing is...i'm finding it difficult socializing with my friends like i used to. i dont have a lot of friends (just moved to this city a few years ago) and i 99% of my friends are from the hospitality industry in which i work. basically meaning they like to drink alot. i dont judge them, its just frusturating being the only sober person when everyone else is drunk...so i sometimes avoid these situations...sometimes it seems like there is nothing else to do though, and i find myself alone on friday nights like tonight. also i'm single, so i'm finding meeting ppl is hard when i don't go to bars or clubs. i feel like a big loser =P

 

anyway else who doesn't drink have similar problems?? any advice?? thanks for listenin =)

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its just frusturating being the only sober person when everyone else is drunk... i feel like a big loser

You should feel proud of yourself. Why does one have to feel like a loser just because you're not drunk? Is being drunk somehow impressive? Why is it that people who drink a lot and get blind drunk are considered "cool", and the ones who are sober are losers? Don't fall into that mind-set. Do what YOU feel comfortable with, and if that means not getting drunk, then so be it.

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I drank myself silly in college. I had those mornings wondering, 'What happened last night?! OMG!"

 

I, too, became burned out. It was a strange transition from student life to real-world life. No more being hungover on a Friday morning - I had to be productive at work instead of skipping class.

 

Apart of this transition was learning how to be social without alcohol. Yeah...a few drinks 'loosens' you up socially...but, is it necessary? It's not, and you'll learn that. I say go out with your friends still, but, stop at two drinks. Pace them out long, as well. Go grab a coke (without rum) so it appears that you are drinking and you have something in your hand.

 

Also, change your social activities. Join intramural sports. Join groups and meetups. Spend your time away from the bar scene and you'll realize that a Tuesday night can be more entertaining than a Friday or Saturday night.

 

Lastly, setting and achieving a goal that REQUIRED me to drink less helped. I trained for a marathon and successfully ran it. Hard to run 15 miles on a hangover.

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You should feel proud of yourself. Why does one have to feel like a loser just because you're not drunk? Is being drunk somehow impressive? Why is it that people who drink a lot and get blind drunk are considered "cool", and the ones who are sober are losers? Don't fall into that mind-set. Do what YOU feel comfortable with, and if that means not getting drunk, then so be it.

 

Did you go to college? For the drinking aspect purely?

 

I drank myself silly in college. I had those mornings wondering, 'What happened last night?! OMG!"

 

I, too, became burned out. It was a strange transition from student life to real-world life. No more being hungover on a Friday morning - I had to be productive at work instead of skipping class.

 

Apart of this transition was learning how to be social without alcohol. Yeah...a few drinks 'loosens' you up socially...but, is it necessary? It's not, and you'll learn that. I say go out with your friends still, but, stop at two drinks. Pace them out long, as well. Go grab a coke (without rum) so it appears that you are drinking and you have something in your hand.

 

Also, change your social activities. Join intramural sports. Join groups and meetups. Spend your time away from the bar scene and you'll realize that a Tuesday night can be more entertaining than a Friday or Saturday night.

 

Lastly, setting and achieving a goal that REQUIRED me to drink less helped. I trained for a marathon and successfully ran it. Hard to run 15 miles on a hangover.

 

VERY VERY VALID POINT

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I don't think you need to have a drink in your hand that makes you look like you're drinking when you're not. If people can't accept that you don't want to drink, why woudl you want to be around them anyway? I don't drink at all and I'll admit sometimes I want to be holding a drink to "fit in" but the bottom line is that I don't need to impress anyone. So if people ask what I'm drinking, I'll say sprite or water or whatever I am drinking. When people ask why I'm not drinking, I say I don't drink. If they continue to press on about it, I just say it was never for me. That's usually the end of that conversation and we move on to another conversation.

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This is the same problem I have been facing, one thing I have noticed though is that I just need to stop thinking so much. Alcohol helped me deal with reality really well, and now all the anxieties i've pushed away are coming at me full speed. But I would say just stop thinking so much, find an outlet to let things out, whether it be writing, music, reading running.

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I don't drink either. I wasn't a big drinker but I did drink socially when I was out at a bar or club.

 

My boyfriend likes to drink and often tries to get me to have a drink with him especially when we are in Vegas. It's definitely a no go because I am not interested in drinking.

 

My 2 best friends enjoy the occasional drink but they know my stance on the issue and never pressure me to have one.

 

I don't need to impress anyone. You can like me just fine while I sip on my coke.

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My best advice in your situation would be to get busy. I would recommend that you start working out, hit the gym, join a boxing gym, take a dance class, go swimming, go to the library on a Friday night and find something to read, volunteer to help someone less fortunate; I am basically just throwing out ideas of things that I do. You can start writing, go back to school just to be around college bound people, attend church, go biking, there are bike meet ups you can find online where large groups of people meet up to go biking, hang out with family, go to the mall, coffee shop, a casino, a game center, go bowling, golfing, fishing, or pick up another job.

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