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is this normal? or am i in for a shock?


HealingHandsWarmHeart
I Have Feelings For Someone Else Wh...
I Have Feelings For Someone Else While In a Relationship

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I know i shouldn't be ..buts its weirding me out a little.

 

i felt like i loved my ex fiance a lot- i really honestly did... 2 weeks ago i felt like he was my everything..

 

the last two weeks i have felt myself start shifting away from him- he started annoying me more and more- i think its because i was beginning to have ENOUGH of his control and jealousy- its the summer- I LOVE the summer- the beach, hiking, festivals.. and i realized over the last two weeks that i wasn't going to be able to do these things with this guy in my life...

 

in fact, sunday, we were talkiing and i remember thinking to myself- this guy is an a$$ i don't know if i even want to be with him- i dont know how i feel about him.

 

then monday i find out about this girl he cheated on me with back in April- and here we are .. 4 days later.

 

I feel really good... little things- like going to the store- and not "saving" the receipt in case he called the office and i wasn't there - i had "proof" i was in the store... i walked out of the store- went to put the receipt in my pocket and i thought to myself- you don't have to do that anymore- and i smiled .. and then because i smiled.. about that..some guy thought i was smiling at him ..and he was like "hey great smile!" - and that felt awesome.

 

I started feeling better last night- brighter... looking towards the future - but today?? i feel awesome.

 

more like me.

 

i talked on the phone last night with friends... and i didn't have to sensor myself- i could say what i wanted ... and how i felt. i didn't have to feel guilty because i was on the phone and not giving 100% of my attention to some him.

 

today after work i have some errands to run... and then my cousin is coming over- tomorrow i'm going to buy a new comforter and shower curtain - just to make the place ME again... and then tomorrow night im going out with a friend.. and i feel excited to have plans and i feel good that in 4 days i have rebuilt so much that he has damaged and taken away.

 

Is this going to pass? is this the calm before the storm- or am i really just done with this guy?? has this just been a long time coming?

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Feels great, doesn't it? After the initial pain of my last break-up, I started to realize how much freedom I have - no more feeling guilty when doing this or that, no more having to take him into consideration when doing this or that, no more having someone call you when you're out or ask you 1000 questions...

 

When you're in the wrong relationship, you do feel trapped after a while. I think you're getting over him for good, please keep it up! Go and enjoy the beautiful single life!

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Oh honey - I didn't read your previous posts but if the man was that controlling no wonder you are happy to be rid of him! Please don't go back to someone like that. Without trust a relationship can never work.

 

I had a friend that was like that with her BF - she would check his phone records, bank records, pockets - every day. He had to account for every second of his time and every penny he spent. They fought like crazy and needless to say - it didn't work out.

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Is this going to pass? is this the calm before the storm- or am i really just done with this guy?? has this just been a long time coming?

 

For you I hope not, but it might.

 

I try to make mental notes constantly when i am feeling great, post-breakup, so that when I'm down I can revisit those times, if only in my head, and they help. They do come as a shock, you think: "is this possible to feel good at this stage?" Some times they fade, but like I said, I hope in your case things stay this way.

 

Best of luck!

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I feel really good... little things- like going to the store- and not "saving" the receipt in case he called the office and i wasn't there - i had "proof" i was in the store...

 

Ouch! Sounds like you were living in a prison with this guy. Don't look back..he is most certainly not worth looking back to.

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i was living in a prison with him... and like a fool i thought i was "helping" him...

 

and this is why i intend on staying in counseling... i do not want to EVER do this again-

 

i gave up friends... things i enjoyed- i couldn't talk to my friends... i would walk around with my head down because i was sooo afraid someone would talk to me and he would become suspcious.

 

i took pictures with my phone every where i went to "prove" my whereabouts when i was "allowed" to do something i wanted to do.

 

I gave up going to dinner with girlfriends because i would face days of accusations.

 

I gave up all of my guy friends- who were all good friends to me.

 

I gave up things i enjoyed- like going for hikes because i wouldn't have phone service.

 

i carried my phone with me everywhere- because if i didn't and i missed a call..i was accused of cheating...

 

and THEN i find out it was HIM that was cheating and all of this was just his own guilt??

 

he locked me up and made me his prisoner because HE couldn't be trusted!

 

he has some nerve

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What a nightmare! You should feel great, look at what you don't have to put up with anymore. Enjoy your time alone...it's your reward for living with a monster.

 

And here's an irony that I hope you will enjoy.....she knew he was cheating, right? So how is he going to feel about HER activities when she goes somewhere alone? I hope his paranoia gives him the worst anxiety attacks ever!......................................................?

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What a nightmare! You should feel great, look at what you don't have to put up with anymore. Enjoy your time alone...it's your reward for living with a monster.

 

And here's an irony that I hope you will enjoy.....she knew he was cheating, right? So how is he going to feel about HER activities when she goes somewhere alone? I hope his paranoia gives him the worst anxiety attacks ever!......................................................?

 

Monster is right. This guy is not human to do that to a partner.

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Wow. I can't believe you had to save the receipts for proof just to avoid conflicts. That's like living with a manager or much worse actually.

 

This was probably a longgggg time coming, and you just didn't realise how bad it was. Maybe just got too used to it.

 

The "good news" is you have realised it now and can avoid it. And you've had a wake up call thanks to him cheating. CLiche but: everything does happen for a reason.

You where dating a "loser". There's an article on ENA about it. I'd check it out.

 

I dated a guy who was also with this type of girl. Sadly for him I think he went back to her. She cut him off his friends and family, and was also jealous, abusive, etc.

 

Why someone (healthy) who try to cut their partner off from friends and other people is something I'll never understand.

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Yea I can only imagine. It happens to me already when in a relationship- I'm not as social with friends like I once was due to the routine and wanting to be with my bf. But being cut off and also monitored is 1000x worse.

 

I think it's like a breathe of fresh air for you know.. Not to mention like you're seeing the world, people and it's oppertunities again for the very first time.

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i watched that show 30 days last night... the guy who made supersize me.. is in it.

 

the episode i watched he was in jail.

 

he talked about how isolating it is... not being to talk with friends or family- he talked about missing trees, fresh air, the sun ... he said he felt so out of sorts- he was like a zombie.

 

when he finally got out.. he said he felt amazing and wouldn't take anything for granted... and thats how i feel ..i feel like something as simple as stopping for gas is no longer a hassle...

 

i have felt like a zombie...no life.

 

"can i breath now sir?" - "yes you may breath ..but not too deep"

 

this is how i felt... and i thought this was love- so you tell me .. who is the screwed up one?

 

i have missed out on so much these last two years and thankfully i have friends who are standing by me. i feel very very luck and blessed.

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