Sparkly Eyes Posted July 17, 2009 Share Posted July 17, 2009 Well, the great thinker Hegel has his Master/Slave dialectic where, because the Slave is aware of his/her position and also that of the Master, the Slave is the more powerful of the two. We applied the concept to "Fight Club" to elaborate on it once. I have to say it again, though. It's weird to me that guys talk down to their partners when receiving blowjobs. Then again, I don't like talking at all during sex. It's a physical thing, like taking a dump or a hot bath. Those are things that are experienced by touch and with the body, therefore talk is....well, unnecessary. To me, anyway. wat? you sure won't make a good lover,lol. Link to comment
ay0_x Posted July 17, 2009 Share Posted July 17, 2009 Well, the great thinker Hegel has his Master/Slave dialectic where, because the Slave is aware of his/her position and also that of the Master, the Slave is the more powerful of the two. We applied the concept to "Fight Club" to elaborate on it once. I have to say it again, though. It's weird to me that guys talk down to their partners when receiving blowjobs. Then again, I don't like talking at all during sex. It's a physical thing, like taking a dump or a hot bath. Those are things that are experienced by touch and with the body, therefore talk is....well, unnecessary. To me, anyway. Ah yeah, I've heard about the master/slave thing. I'm not that into Hegel... Kant and Schaupenhauer ftw. As for talking down to their partners.. I think she meant, they talk down about their partners AFTER the BJ, like, in front of their friends and such. "Oh man she was full into it, oh man she sucked me dry, oh man she full loved having it in her mouth" etc. A lot of guys are really disrespectful to girls who've given them head. It's sad. Link to comment
Organs Posted July 17, 2009 Share Posted July 17, 2009 wat? you sure won't make a good lover,lol. Believe me, I do just fine. I'm not one to brag, but the girl who took my virginity? I made her cum four times. It helps to look up articles on how to perform certain acts like oral and finding the g-spot and clit. I've learned to restrain myself. And finally, grunts and moans are perfectly sufficient between me and my partner. Link to comment
Organs Posted July 17, 2009 Share Posted July 17, 2009 Ah yeah, I've heard about the master/slave thing. I'm not that into Hegel... Kant and Schaupenhauer ftw. As for talking down to their partners.. I think she meant, they talk down about their partners AFTER the BJ, like, in front of their friends and such. "Oh man she was full into it, oh man she sucked me dry, oh man she full loved having it in her mouth" etc. A lot of guys are really disrespectful to girls who've given them head. It's sad. Ah, so it's not during? That'd be bad, too, but yeah, it takes a certain type of jerk to talk about his conquests like that. I've known guys like that. That reminds me of one of my experiences. I have a friend who lives very far away, and when I was living in the north side of Chicago, there was this Celtic Fest going on and she flew into town with her roommate from the west coast. She was staying at the Palmer House Hilton, which is in the loop in Chicago (a good ten miles from my apartment). We couldn't go back to my place because she had to get up early for something at the festival. We couldn't go to her room because her roommate (who is a guy) was already in bed and both beds were in the same room. But we wanted to do something somewhere. So, we went to the bathrooms behind the reception desk of the hotel, which were past a couple turns in a hallway. We went to the men's room and went to the handicapped stall. And a few times, we had to stop because other guys went in to do their business, and apparently there was a wedding going on because a group of guys in tuxedos came in and lined up at the urinals. And they were talking such trash! "Dude, I * * * * ed three girls so far! Hell yeah? Yeah, I'm hooking up with that hot blonde? No way! Yeah, she better suck my d--- or I'm cumming on her dress..." Or, I can't remember what they said exactly, but it was really raunchy and it sure as hell wasn't stuff they'd repeat in the presence of a lady. My girl and I were doing all we could to stifle our laughter. I'm sure women do that, too. You know, get together with their fellow girl friends and talk about their guys' performance in bed. Or some do, I don't know for certain. With me and my friends, we don't say much more than whether or not we had sex. Like, yeah we did some oral or yeah, we had sex, it was great. Details thereof are private. Link to comment
ay0_x Posted July 17, 2009 Share Posted July 17, 2009 Oh, girls talk of course. I don't even mind guys talking, it's how they talk about it. But not many girls exactly say "he sucked me dry... far out he's soooooo freaky. And then I never called him again... I could never respect a dude that went down on me, ew. Oh and he didn't even mind that I didn't buy him dinner first". Link to comment
Circe Posted July 17, 2009 Share Posted July 17, 2009 My male friends have never said one word in front of me about the sexual relationship between them and their partners. Not one word. I'd be pretty disappointed in them if they did, especially in a manner that "talked down" on their girlfriends. I think people who do that are very inconsiderate and disrespectful.. but it's not everyone who does it, really. Link to comment
ay0_x Posted July 17, 2009 Share Posted July 17, 2009 My male friends have never said one word in front of me about the sexual relationship between them and their partners. Not one word. I'd be pretty disappointed in them if they did, especially in a manner that "talked down" on their girlfriends. I think people who do that are very inconsiderate and disrespectful.. but it's not everyone who does it, really. Sadly my male friends are much too proud of their escapades and willing to advertize them to the world. I know too much about their sex lives. wayyyy too much. Link to comment
Organs Posted July 17, 2009 Share Posted July 17, 2009 Personally, I think if a guy brags about his sexual conquests, there's something inherently wrong with his psyche. Like he's insecure or has a fragile ego. I remember I took an acting class, and one of my classmates was so terrible with his game that he was a joke (he also wasn't a good actor or even good looking). He'd lie to girls to impress them and lie to us about sleeping with girls. Once, while we went out for drinks, he got my attention, and the conversation went like this: "Hey, (my name). Hey!" "What?" "I had sex today!" "Uhhh....good for you *shrug*" And out loud to no one, he said "Yeah, it IS good for me..." and turned to whoever was on his right. Both genders can be shallow when it comes to sex. But in the ways that men can be shallow, I'm sometimes embarrassed of my gender. Link to comment
Jpo Posted July 17, 2009 Share Posted July 17, 2009 Yeah, as far as I am aware (being a guy), we don't talk about the details of sex. It is literally just, "Dude, I had sex with her!" *High Five* One of those unsaid "guy rules." Like no talking to other people while you are peeing. Link to comment
Jpo Posted July 17, 2009 Share Posted July 17, 2009 ^ ^ lol DORK. *high five* High fives are awesome! image removed Link to comment
Day_Walker Posted July 17, 2009 Share Posted July 17, 2009 I think that men when they get around their friends have a tendency to talk in a certain manner about thing. I also think that this changed when a person matures. I think that if any woman doesnt like to give blow jobs then she doesnt have to do that. At the same time I reserve the right to not date girls that dont give oral sex because I like it and I am not willing to give that up. I think some good advice concerning oral sex (either male or female) you dont have to like, you just have to be good at it. Link to comment
amure Posted July 17, 2009 Share Posted July 17, 2009 Oral sex has been around since cavemen.... ..I mean, right? Maybe I'm wrong. But I thought it was always done. its been around, but it was always considered taboo, and dirty. apparently lol Link to comment
d24 Posted July 17, 2009 Share Posted July 17, 2009 guys like to be sucked (in general) guys (or humans in general) are happier and generally nicer when they get what they like so.. girls who dont suck wont have the happiest (general) guy (sexually) if you refuse to suck, be aware that your man may (generally) be less happy in your relationship and could possibly potentially maybe, be less 'nice' -- subconsciously of course. Link to comment
Circe Posted July 17, 2009 Share Posted July 17, 2009 If anyone has a minute can someone explain the Hegel master/slave thing to me and WHY the slave is the more powerful one? That sounds fascinating. Link to comment
ay0_x Posted July 17, 2009 Share Posted July 17, 2009 If anyone has a minute can someone explain the Hegel master/slave thing to me and WHY the slave is the more powerful one? That sounds fascinating. The slave knows his position. He knows he's the slave, he's certain he'll always be the slave. He follows the master's orders because he knows, one day, his master will be a slave, and he has power because he has certainty. But the master is unsure. He doesn't know when the slave will overpower him and become his master. He doesn't know when a bigger master will come along and make him a slave. I hope that makes sense lol Link to comment
Circe Posted July 17, 2009 Share Posted July 17, 2009 The slave knows his position. He knows he's the slave, he's certain he'll always be the slave. He follows the master's orders because he knows, one day, his master will be a slave, and he has power because he has certainty. But the master is unsure. He doesn't know when the slave will overpower him and become his master. He doesn't know when a bigger master will come along and make him a slave. I hope that makes sense lol Ahhhh I see... so in that sense the Master's life is filled with insecurity and the slave's with certainty. And there's only one direction the slave can go.. it sup. And one direction the Master can go.. which is down. Very interesting! Link to comment
ay0_x Posted July 17, 2009 Share Posted July 17, 2009 Ahhhh I see... so in that sense the Master's life is filled with insecurity and the slave's with certainty. And there's only one direction the slave can go.. it sup. And one direction the Master can go.. which is down. Very interesting! Yeah, and in that sense.. it's the slave that is really the master and the master is the slave (the master is the slave to probability, his own uncertainty, and is the slave to the obedience of the actual slave.. his happiness lies in "Will my slave do this"). Everytime the master beats the slave, the slave is kinda like "I will have my way one day.", and hte master is being a "Slave" to his own anger. It's complicated lmao Link to comment
Pastor Terry Posted July 17, 2009 Share Posted July 17, 2009 Sex should always be a do as you feel comfortable doing....and yes, guys tend to love bj's. They seem personal and special and allow a guy total pleasure in a manner that pampers him,....he only need to enjoy, nothing else...howevere, there is Never a reson to diss an ex...no reason ever...so just be glad he was an ex and this helps you understand why!!! Link to comment
cat_lady Posted July 17, 2009 Share Posted July 17, 2009 I don't like giving it if I'm not in love with the guy. It sounds weird, but it totally disgusts me. I could have sex with him, but bjs are oddly more intimate. Great point, the idea of giving someone a blow job that I am not really into grosses me out. It usually takes me about three to four month of a relationship with a person that I really like before I feel enough for them to want to go give them a random bj out of my own initiative. With my ex bf, once I realized he was the love of my life, he couldn't get it out of my mouth. I think once you are in love with a person, things like "gross" and "disgusting" no longer apply. Are you sure this isn't a similar case for you? Link to comment
valentino2003 Posted July 17, 2009 Author Share Posted July 17, 2009 This is a good question, cause I never gave BJ's either - just never liked it. My exes complained about it, but my SO now always said to me from the beginning that "that" is not something he wants his serious GF or wife to do, he says he can live without them. I mean I would if he wanted me to but never even asked or hinted lol. But he loves giving it to me...IDK! Every guy I talked to also talked down about the girls that gave them BJ's. The guys that didn't talk about it were ones that were married or in a serious relationship...hmmm OMG so true.....all the men that I've come accross that talk down about their gf's or just woman in general about bj's they received..are single men. All the married or in a serious commited relationship men don't really kiss and tell about their sex lives. LOL Link to comment
valentino2003 Posted July 17, 2009 Author Share Posted July 17, 2009 If a girl doesn't like giving bjs, in my experience, she probably has some issues with sex in general. Girls that have sexual hangups are not exactly the best sexual partners, for obvious reasons. That is YOUR perception of what they are saying. Viewed through your own negative bias of oral sex. You feel that is degrading or what ever and when someone talks about it, you hear what you want to hear. WOW you seemed pissed off at either me or some girl in the past who didn't suck your * * * * . LOL I'm not going to do something I feel pressured to do....I'm sure there are tons of woman like me. Link to comment
hexaemeron Posted July 17, 2009 Share Posted July 17, 2009 WOW you seemed pissed off at either me or some girl in the past who didn't suck your * * * * . LOL I'm not going to do something I feel pressured to do....I'm sure there are tons of woman like me. There absolutely are women like you, and I agree that you should never do something you're uncomfortable with. ...Just don't expect to have an easy time dating. Link to comment
valentino2003 Posted July 17, 2009 Author Share Posted July 17, 2009 There absolutely are women like you, and I agree that you should never do something you're uncomfortable with. ...Just don't expect to have an easy time dating. LOL lets see all the men I've dated in the past, were long term 3-4 years. Occasionally I would meet men here and there but hey they don't seem to mind at all.....down the road I realized some men just love eat out a woman....there are other possiblities that I'm willing to try like hand jobs, etc..... The thought of pubic in my face is just gross.........LOL I knew this wouldn't be a happy subject for all you guys LOL Link to comment
hexaemeron Posted July 17, 2009 Share Posted July 17, 2009 LOL lets see all the men I've dated in the past, were long term 3-4 years. Occasionally I would meet men here and there but hey they don't seem to mind at all.....down the road I realized some men just love eat out a woman....there are other possiblities that I'm willing to try like hand jobs, etc..... The thought of pubic in my face is just gross.........LOL I knew this wouldn't be a happy subject for all you guys LOL Ohhhh, I see. So you'll happily accept oral sex, but you just won't offer it. Hey, if you can get them to go along with it, more power to you. Link to comment
stingray Posted July 17, 2009 Share Posted July 17, 2009 I actually don't like it to be honest, I mean I obviously enjoy it but I don't like it. For some reason it feels like I am demeaning the girl! Though, to give a girl oral I would do anything(almost) to make a girl happy. Link to comment
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