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unmotivated, depressed.. stuck


radiotone

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i feel like venting.

 

i'm 23 and i feel as if i'm being left behind by everyone. i didn't finish college, and dropped out a few years ago. ever since, i've been working retail. jumping from job to job, not enjoying it. i've been working this one retail job for almost a year, and now i'm becoming so unmotivated and depressed.. it's affecting my work. i studied visual communications in college, and i'm a cartoonist and musician. i work on art and music most of the time but not as much lately. i still live with my parents, and i barely have any privacy for my music and for myself. it makes me very irritable. i try to save money to move out, but i never have enough. because i'm always paying car insurance, school loans etc. i haven't been in a relationship for about a two years now. i'm not really ready to jump into one, but i've been having so much trouble meeting people. i've been feeling incredibly lonely. i get so discouraged from all of the wrong people i somehow end up getting together with, that i sometimes think i can't be with anyone. and it's not like i have high standards.. i really don't hang out with any good friends. or even HAVE good friends. everyone i know are just that. people i know of. they're all in relationships, have good jobs, moved out. and even if i did hang out with any of them, i'm pretty sure all we'd do is either smoke pot or drink. i can't help the feeling but feel like i'm wasting all of this time. sometimes i feel encouraged and confident, and will work on my music and art.. but i never follow through.

 

all of this came from a meeting i had with my boss at work. he informed me that lately i've been seeming depressed (it's true, i can't stand that place anymore) and i got ripped apart for calling out ONE day to be with my family. they're currently cutting my hours and i feel as if i'm not going to have any money at all soon. and i have all of these bills to pay. i really don't want to go to another low-paying retail job. and i don't have enough money to go back to school. also, sometimes i wonder, "how do i come off to other people?" do i seem lazy? annoying? rude? i just don't get it. i feel like no one wants to be with me, and if they do - it's out of pity. i don't know what to do. and i'm afraid because this depression is getting worse and worse. feels better to have said all of that. i'm wondering if anyone out there has any encouraging words to get me out of this mess..

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...I can kinda relate. bad feeling, to feel left behind by everyone else. they all seem to be progressing.

 

...keep up the art and music for one thing. I wouldn't give up on that. and if you feel like hanging out with those people is just gonna lead to boozing and stuff, maybe you can meet new people. I'm not much to give out advice on that, but I do try somewhat.

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You're in a tough spot... I'm sorry you are feeling the way you do right now. Life can indeed be tough. From what I read it sounds like you may be placing your attention in too many directions. I'd suggest focusing on one big thing... say career, and try hard to accomplish something grand there. Then when you've achieved there, move on to something else. I've found at least in my life that when I do this the snowballing stops and starting moving in the other direction... the RIGHT direction. This is not to say you won't have setbacks along the way, but at least you are trying. Sometimes you just have to reach out for what you want and hang onto it for all you've got.

 

-Kevin

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Pick up a few books that'll help to change your mind if you put them into action...

 

Just my advice, whether you're a reader or not, you'll learn how powerful your mind is...

 

"Think and Grow Rich" by Napoleon Hill

"48 Days to the Work You Love" by Dan Miller

 

hope it helps

 

Motivational speaking is great, but I don't have time to give you a huge message...sorry.

 

"Whether you think you can, or you can't... you're right" - Henry Ford

 

Basically if you start working on changing your mind, other things will follow. I mean really, when was the last time you wanted to get rid of a habit(if you have tried)?... You have to make it a conscious effort and thought every waking moment until you don't do that habit unconciously... same goes with everything else in life.

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sometimes i wonder, "how do i come off to other people?" do i seem lazy? annoying? rude? i just don't get it. i feel like no one wants to be with me, and if they do - it's out of pity. i don't know what to do. and i'm afraid because this depression is getting worse and worse. feels better to have said all of that. i'm wondering if anyone out there has any encouraging words to get me out of this mess..
You ask for encouraging words. Courage is not something that comes in words, it comes from within. The very reason that you ask these questions about how others see you is that you are not using your own courage to be yourself.

 

Being your self does not involve others. It is simply being, moment to moment, human being. Human being is being aware of being vulnerable, weak, confused, uncertain... and not denying this.

 

Trying to move away from this vulnerability is making one self into some thing (that can be manipulated).

 

Just being here, now, moment to moment and not making *this* into something is really *something*

 

If this moment to moment living is truly appreciated there is no "mess". Any mess is a mess of thoughts.

 

And the future is always here, now, when and if it 'happens' isn't it? And so if one is appreciative here now, one will naturally be so in the future.

 

With best wishes,

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You're still so young...23 there is so much more ahead for you. One of my best friend's is 36 and he's just now finishing college. You need to do what you know is going to make you happy - pursue the things you enjoy. Explore college and see what career path you can take that includes the things you most love and go for it. Perhaps to make money try to find something you enjoy as well - if not, cause the economy sucks...just know that with school you are going for your passion and it will take time, but good things come to those who wait. I promise you, at 23, it's normal to feel this way but everyone moves at different paces - nothing is really "normal" unless we believe what society has tried to make us believe. I'm 29 and all of my friend's live in my old home town, have kids and homes and I moved out to LA when I was 25 so I could pursue my dream and it was the best decision I ever made. I can now look back at my life and not have any regrets because I am going after what I love.

 

Just follow your heart and make it a goal to achieve. I know you can do it!

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