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How do you help someone who cant hold a relationship because of past trauma


lkm370

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I have a friend who is a girl and no matter how much she tries she cant hold a realtionship, she always ends up screwing up in one way or another.

 

There are things i know about her which is her dad was emotionally distant and kind of temporarily abandoned her when she was young which caused her to be really depressed when she was younger to the point where she practiced self harm, she had a very bad previous relationship with a guy who verbally abused her, cheated on her, and only used her for sex(2 year relationship), she has very low self esteem and always says everyone is "too good for her", and told me herself she cant hold a relationship, how can i help her, is there some type of counseling she can go to or some self help book, any links to some websites someone can give me with info? Anything would be greatly appreciated.

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I don't know, but if she figures it out then can you have her call me so she can tell me the secret? For serious, there are a lot of people out there who won't allow themselves to have real, loving, lasting relationships because, deep down, they don't think they're suppose to. Your friend sounds like one of them.

 

And it's oh so hard to allow someone to love you if you're not busy loving yourself. Sure, the right person can aid your self-esteem, but in the end no amount of attention or connection with another person is going to help you truly love yourself. You have to do that part on your own, hopefully with the support of either family, strong friendships, or both.

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I don't know, but if she figures it out then can you have her call me so she can tell me the secret? For serious, there are a lot of people out there who won't allow themselves to have real, loving, lasting relationships because, deep down, they don't think they're suppose to. Your friend sounds like one of them.

 

And it's oh so hard to allow someone to love you if you're not busy loving yourself. Sure, the right person can aid your self-esteem, but in the end no amount of attention or connection with another person is going to help you truly love yourself. You have to do that part on your own, hopefully with the support of either family, strong friendships, or both.

 

Amen and Amen.

 

I think she has to want to help herself. You can try self help books tho.

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