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Why my ex contact me


Beyonce452

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My ex contacted me the other day on myspace and im me sayin wuz up honey. i am not his honey.lol. we dated for bout a year when i was 16 and he cheated on me. But not only did he cheat on me but he cheated on me on the week of our one year anniversary that was coming up. so we were talking a lil bit catching up on things and i asked him after all these years. Why did you contact me, he had the nerve to say that he dont know that i guess he forgive me. i was like what u forgive me? for what? he said for walking out on him. i was like what was i supposed to do u cheated on me. he said i guess that was the human or humane thing to do or something like dat he said. i cant believe he had the audasity to say he forgive me when his behind da one that cheated But even after all that he still wanna us to talk. i dont mind being his friend but if he thinks im gonna go back out wit him. he crazy. but i guess its because i was his first girlfriend and he was my first boyfriend. my friend she told me after all da hell he put me through that i shouldnt be his friend. but im a christian i forgave him cuz i have to but i wont forget. why would he contact me after bout 4 or 5 years when we dont talk? i need a guys perspective.

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I asked my friend Matthew so you could get a “guys” perspective…I just reworded it so it’d make more sense for you.

 

When a dumper/dumpee comes back for a friendship it could be for many reasons.

Especially when they feel at fault or some guilt, they think that by resurrecting some sort of understanding between you (a friendship or relationship) then they can feel less like a monster for what they did (the fact he cheated on you).-That’s also why people try and place the blame on another.-To try and make you feel like you’re at fault for what happened, so it lessens his guilt.

 

It also allows them reassurance that their former lover is still in their life in some way shape or form, so they don’t have to cope with the missing feeling anymore.

 

Then of course, he could be looking for pity sex. Hoping he can either win you back or at least get you into bed.

 

If you plan on being his friend again you’ll have make it clear that’s where the boundary ends. (Which you already mentioned is what you’re wanting).

 

However we don’t live in a perfect world. Most ex’s can’t succeed at being friends. (People tend to think, they’ve slept with you once, they have the right to do it again, or can temp you easier at least). Especially if there was jealously, bitterness (the cheating… , etc it makes it all much more harder to stay friends. Unless the two of you were friends before the incident then it’s usually better to leave the past where It belongs. Not to be harsh, but it’d be like keeping one foot in the past… This guy hurt you once, don’t be a fool and let him hurt you twice. (Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me.)

 

Granted, there is a chance that all he wants is friendship. But I’d hate to hear that he hurt you again because you gave him that second chance. I’d make him work for your trust again. And until he drops the “honeys” and nicknames, then it’d be better to leave the friendship and him behind with the memories.

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Hello, what Mimori said is very good advice but allow me to offer you another opinion.

 

I think he has no shame, feels like he's the center of the world and has absolutely no remorse over what he did to you. Recently he may have received a blow to his self-esteem and instead of trying to become a better person he contacts his ex who he knows is a good person and a good christian, but instead of showing kindness he shows his true colours by being arrogant and ridiculous.

 

My advice?, don't talk to him EVER again, your forgiveness over what he did is about you only, you don't have to show or prove anything to him, ignore him from now on.

 

He was your first boyfriend and he gave you a beautiful lesson about respecting yourself and not putting up with his stupidity, that will be forever with you, he won't.

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I'm thinking that after four years apart, he will be long over feeling any guilt, or be still feeling a 'monster' in regard to his cheating.

 

Next he will be saying that if you hadn't done this, or you hadn't done that, he wouldn't have cheated on you.

 

Yes, he will lay all the blame on you and make you feel the guilty one and try to 'guilt trip' you, into giving him what he's come back looking for....

 

Which could be sex. That is why a lot return. Like someone else said, once they have had sex with you, they think they can come back for some more and then more and when the supply has ran short elsewhere. They plot and plan, the easiest way to get sex from you again. This is where the 'make her feel guilty and blame her for our breakup' would come into play....

Tries to make you feel bad you see and so he will think you are more likely to give in to whatever he wants.....

 

Time will reveal what his motives for coming back were and are.

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Dream about your ex
Dream about your ex

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