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How to help someone who shuts off when stressed?


cbh1979
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Ok, so I've got this friend who is under a ton of stress at the moment. She tends to shut off from everyone else, though, in times like these. We're pretty good friends...not hang out at each other's house friends, but we talk on a consistent basis via both email and phone. Anyway, I feel badly that she's going through a rough time and want to help, but how do I do that? Or can I?

 

I guess I'm wondering if people who just shut themselves off from everyone like she does still appreciate friends asking them how things are going, or would it bother them? Is it OK to email every once and awhile and just say hey, wondering how things are going, hope they're better?

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I think its a good thing to send them an email to make sure things are going alright, and that you'll listen to their problems. Maybe talk about some good times you guys have shared before (I dont know how close you guys are)..?

 

Also, I found taking someone out to eat helps..hopefully your friends' stress passes soon!!

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My friend may be different than yours, but she shuts down under stress and I think she is going through a really difficult time. She thinks it's annoying that people do that, and doesn't understand the point.

 

My point is, it depends on how serious the stress is, and what type of person she is.

 

One thing you can do, is invite her somewhere to escape from stress, send her a card and a book so she can take her mind off things. Maybe some lotions or bath salts. (: Anything you think she would find relaxing.

 

Good Luck!

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I think it's fine to send an email to ask her how she's doing, but don't expect a lot from her. At this point the best way to help her might be to leave her alone for awhile. So yeah, definitely offer help, but don't be pushy about it.

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What is pushy, though? Obviously that isn't what I'm trying to convey...I'm just trying to let her know I care and hope things are getting better. I guess though if you've decided to kinda shut yourself off that is more of a nuisance than anything. Ugh...plus, its kind of strange to let people into your life then just shut them out temporarily at certain times. Oh well...I just feel bad for her.

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