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I'm Still Hated.


Brandon1
All I Ever Wanted Was to Love You
All I Ever Wanted Was to Love You

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A group of people used to harass me back in high school, taunt me, egg my house, etc. HS was definitely the darkest time in my life. It took a loooong time for me to get over that. Today I am outside working on my car, and a few kids from high school that were friends of the kids who hated me were on bikes, said, "Hey thats so-and-so (me), hahaha I hate that kid". Then when they saw me, one said, "I cant believe I said that out loud haha."

 

I didnt look up till they passed my house, but I recognized them. Why am I still hated? I was nobody special in HS, didnt cause trouble, I had friends, but a lot of people did not like me for some reason. I dont hate anybody, but I still cant believe people do. Ive learned over the years since Ive been out of HS, how to build my self confidence. Im on a steady path in college, and when I get out, I feel Im going to be a very successful person. Ive always had trouble low self confidence, besides im a pretty ugly person to be honest, thats what the last girl I dated said...now Im willing to throw it all away and Im about to do something stupid.

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Some people are idiots. I don't know why the people who hated me in high school hated me, everyone has always said I'm a really nice guy, and I never said or did anything to them to cause them to feel that way. One guy even lit a card on fire and threw it over the stall while I was trying to take a piss, and it almost set my hair on fire.

 

I think you just have to chalk it down to bad genes. Some people are bred from bad gene pools, and that includes both men and women. It's always wise to just avoid those people.

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It makes people feel better about themselves to pick on someone. They are lacking character and think that by belittling you, they grow as poeple...they're seriously messed up in other words!! Any time anyone made fun of me in HS, i'd laugh in their faces...they'd look stupid and turn beat red knowing they didn't get to me!

 

You gotta laugh it off...you said yourself...once your done college you can see yourself being successful...perhaps you'll be the judge that puts these hooligan lifers in prison...who'd be laughing then? lol...

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I don't think you should wonder what you did wrong but just realize that some people are small and insecure and they take it out on others.

I think it could help to look at what you do have in your life and not worry about the things that you don't have i/e friendship with cruel people.

High school is so small, the world will be far nicer to you and you will come to find people who have similar interests and beliefs and none of that will matter anymore.

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In high school/junior high, I didn't bother anyone, yet I still got pantsed, booked, spit on, hit, kicked, my stuff stolen, my own girlfriend ditched me on Halloween, I got my car broken into, egged and my tail lights busted, and it was all topped off with a nice death threat. I even knew who messed with my car, but I didn't SEE it, so the cops wouldn't do anything about it.

 

Anyway, from what I hear, almost all of those people are either incarcerated or big-time screwups now. One of the lessons in life I'm going to teach my kids is that you can be the best person in the world, and people will still find a reason to hate you. It's a hard fact of life to swallow. A shame, but a fact.

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What? I cant believe she said that. You may think your ugly but someone else is prob thinking about how attractive you are. Being attractive consists of more than just looks.

 

Some ppl are just JEALOUS. Thats all it boils down too. You are smart, your doing something with your life, and you are moving forward in life while they are riding bikes and making fun of ppl. You are by far better than them....screw what they think. Success is the BEST revenge.

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Kids are cruel. Truth is, most people are still kids when they are 20.

 

I moved a lot growing up, so being the new kid I was always an easy target. The "popular" guys would try to hit on me in totally insulting ways and when I would decline that was the end pretty much. When I was really young it was mostly because I was a bit nerdy, wild child, played with the boys. You can't please everybody. There were people that hated me too (for example because I wouldn't give them head >

 

If you want to, "stand up" for yourself. Just chuckle and say "wow dude, nice to see you are still as sophomoric as ever" if you want to confuse them. Or a simple "people were right.. you ARE an idiot" haha.

 

Other option: forget about them.

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Honestly hunn, these people are idiots. And dont think for a second that its because your ugly or its because of something YOU did.

I am a beautiful girl 22 year old girl, intelligent and have a huge heart. Ive always had tons of friends and have never been picked on ...UNTIL I recently worked at a factory for a part time job...with many adults (anywhere from 20-60 years old) and I was harrassed like crazy there so much that I almost quit my job! Like one of the other posts said, some people just never grow up!! Hurting other people is just a way of making themselves feel better about something...they probably feel 'cool' when they say stuff like that to you...My point? It doesnt matter who you are, what you look like, what you do for a living, there are always going to be people out there who want to ruin it for you because they arent happy with their own lives. Its NOT you who has anything wrong with you....its THEM. They got stuck in their childhood phase and never grew up (not somewhere Id ever wanna be stuck ! Lol). So next time you see someone like that just think to yourself what losers THEY are being 20 years old and still acting 4.

 

Honestly hunn, I really wouldnt let them get to you, because in the end they really dont matter! And to be honest, all of the people in the world who are genuinly good people and who will go far in life see that its them who are the losers, not you!

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People want to be accepted/feared in jr. and senior HS and usually the only way to do it is to either get in good with the popular people or be a total a-hole. Don't worry, I think everyone reaps what they sow in the end. I'm a strong believer in karma. They might not regret it now or soon, but eventually when they get older and have kids of their own, they will learn. I remember I was always the kid in school making friends with the people that nobody else liked. They usually were no different, just lower income kids but I guess in a small town where status is everything, it was a real popularity killer. When I stood up for them or befriended them, that got me into a lot of trouble with some of the other kids. I was basically ostracized through most of my school life because of it and I still would get those lovely little snide comments out of the blue too. No one ever beat me up though or egged my house, thank god, although I do remember one girl trying to start a fight with me and I smacked her really hard...she didn't bother me after that. Most of those people are big cowards.

 

Dealing with all that crap can be really damaging to someone's self esteem though. I remember I was sort of depressed at one point back then, but around senior year of high school I realized that those people really didn't matter and they especially don't matter once you're older and in college. Most of the mean groups back in high school have gone nowhere and are having problems out in the real world just because they never learned how to get along with others. I found out later that most of them even hated each other and are no longer even keeping in touch, while me and some of my good friends in HS still get along and keep in contact.

 

So, don't let those jerks tell you who you are. They'll get their's.

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a few points spring to mind:

 

- nobody has to like you. if people hate you, then it generally is for a reason. Even though you've never done anything to anybody else, a person could dislike you for any reason, good or bad.

 

- Teenagers often get a kick out of making people submit to them, or feeling dominant over others. It's unfortunate, but it's just the way it is. It's kind of like the story of the frog and the scorpion; never ignore or discount the nature of anything.

 

- the girl you dated sounds like a * * * * * , and you're better off without her. Dating is about confidence, and you have no reason to feel unconfident. You say you're in college, and you think you can be fairly successful in life.

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I also moved a lot, and in some places, I became the target of teasing and scapegoating. It was really upsetting, and advice to just ignore it didn't help when I was a kid or young teen. I was also kind of quiet, a "goody-goody" without any desire whatsover to cause a problem for anyone. I didn't have the social skills to just let it roll off my back or to give it back to anyone. I saw how other kids handled it successfully, but I lacked the confidence to do anything else but cry or become introverted.

 

Decades later, I am much better at handling bullies. I can ignore them or stand up to them, and I really understand that it's their problem. I'm sure something about me annoys them or whatever, but I don't spend much time worrying about it--not that it happens often. As I gained more of a sense of self along with self-confidence, I didn't seem to attract them as much. Even with my own kids, I see that some people have a need to claim their superiority by making others feel bad. I see it in adults, too, not just kids.

 

Some people grow up and move on, and some just stay stuck in high school. You sound like one of the lucky ones who continues to move forward with your goals. You can ponder forever about why this happened to you, but it's better to surround yourself with people who can appreciate you for who you are and realize that some people will always be jerks.

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Thanks everyone. You all seem to be nice people. Since Ive been getting ripped on since the 4th grade, I should be used to this by now. And yes, I am ugly on the outside, but many people, some girls, like my personality, but wouldnt consider dating me because I lack in looks. Im tall thin and fit, light hair and green eyes, but I have an ugly face and big ears. I try to stay positive though and I work out. Thanks for all the comments, you really inspired me to rise above these idiots. I just hope these kids dont come back and screw with me again, it really hurts my esteem, as weak as that seems...

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I was kind of an odd one. Quiet and a bit weird (still am!), so an easy target for ridicule - but I was also 6'5" at 16. They always kept their distance, only mocked me when I couldn't return the favor, that sort of thing. It bothered me at first, and happened the entire time I was growing up - but it never got out of hand, probably because I was bigger than everyone.

 

Basically, this is what I'm saying: they are cowards. They only pick on those that can't fight back or won't fight back. Don't let them bother you, but they aren't going anywhere (in more ways than one)

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Me too! Except I quit my job b/c of them! I was 24, a recent graduate and working with other recent and well educated graduates at an office - their behavior was despicable.

 

OP - I don't know why these people are picking on you, but I think that there is something inherently missing in their lives that you probably have. What it is - I don't know. I've always loved to go out to music concerts and my old job (the one I mention above) was full of people who went out to dive bars - not my scene. I use to hang out with them at first and was really friendly, but after a while made more friends who were into my scene, and just naturally started hanging out with them more. My coworkers, who I thought were my friends, began to ostracize me and always ask me whether I had a good time or not in a mean manner. Eventually they stopped inviting me out to go with them, talking to me and so on. It became so unbearable I quit my job. Why I don't know. Maybe its b/c I was independent and could have more than one group of friends. Maybe its b/c I didn't want to buy into their college-frat mentality. Whatever it is, just let it pass and don't let it get to you.

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Also - the girl you dated is not that bright herself.

 

Even if she thought you were ugly, she should have enough common sense/social skills not to say it out loud. Especially to someone she agreed to go out with. I would just ask her.. if am I so ugly, why did you agree to go out with me... something doesn't add up, are you that desperate? Turn the tables on her.

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I know it's easier said than done, but just focus on your goals and everything else will take care of itself. Don't fall victim to the double whammy of people putting you down and then you starting to believe the garbage they're spewing and letting it negatively affect your goals in life. If anything, let their ignorance and insecurity motivate you to be better than them.

 

BTW EVERY person that goes out of their way to put down another person is doing it because they have self esteem issues, so you can take sick comfort in the fact that their life is probably pretty screwed up. lol.

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