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Sister Disowning Our Family


WomanWriter

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My sister, 38 years old, (10 yrs older than me) has decided to disown our ENTIRE family.

 

She wanted some money for food because her teenage son (my nephew) ate the last of her groceries. She was so angry that she abused my nephew about it (says things like "I wish I never had you...I hate you. You were a mistake, etc.", even though my poor nephew only ate because he was hungry. She has always been abusive towards him because he's a boy and will spend 200 dollars on a new dance outfit for her three year old daughter's recital while my nephew has to go without food. He is mild mannered and stays out of trouble but she is always insulting him and depriving him.

 

Anyway, my sister came storming to my mom demanding money. She didn't realize that my nephew was over there hiding from her because he was scared. My brother had picked him up from school and brought him over. When my sister realized that my mom was protecting her son, she grabbed the money and stormed off. She told her son he could never see us again and that he is no longer part of this family!

 

My mom is horribly upset. She's been calling my sister, begging her to talk to her but my sister refuses. She will not even talk to my aunt, grandma, brother, etc....all because my mom was trying to protect my nephew from her abuse!

 

My nephew came over today (without his mom knowing) and said that she hates me and my brother because we are "spoiled"....yet this woman lived with my mom until she was well past her 30s, my mom took care of her son---no RAISED him, and she lives in her own apartment paid in full by her baby's daddy. My grandma paid 30K for a wedding that ended soon in divorce, bought her several cars, and gives her money constantly so she can go to a tanning booth, get her nails done, but the most expensive clothes for her baby girl, etc. and neglect her soon.

 

She seems emotionally arrested and she's definitely bi-polar (she stopped taking her meds because she wants to lose weight even though she's already skinny).

 

She has seriously turned psycho. She makes up stories about her life that are not true and hangs out with teenage girls.

 

What in the world can we do with her? She has gone off the deep end. I'm more worried about my mom and nephew! My mom because she is heartbroken about her daughter (they were very close before) and my nephew because he has a crazy unstable mom who treats him like garbage...and since he's 17, he's going to not be her responsibility anymore...I worry what's going to happen.

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I'm sorry I can't be of help beyond stating the obvious, but if there's any way it can happen, from a practical PoV, your nephew needs to get out, and quick.

 

I imagine he can't support himself - I know it would be an enormous ask, but would you or your mum be able to put him up? Not suggesting, just floating the idea, though I guess you'd have already considered it.

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I don't think you can do much with her, unfortunately. But, what about her son? Is it an option for him to stay with you or your mother, to continue to raise him until he's older and on his own? He clearly knows that you love him, and that he's safe with your mother. Maybe some kind of formal arrangement can be worked out until he's old enough to make it himself. Your sister sounds like she needs the help of professionals. I am surprised that the child welfare authorities are not involved by now. If they are, there may be a worker that could be contacted about this lastest situation. I'm not sure if they will be much help at 17, but if she is refusing to provide adequate food, this is grounds for their involvement at this time.

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i was the son in your situation (when I was little).

 

if it's any consolation he will probably grow up to be one of the nicest mild mannered guys you know and will never take things/people for granted.

Your sister is toxic and shouldn't be allowed to have him, but there's very little you can do. Stay calm and offer him and your family support if/when they need it.

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Teenage years are no picnic for anyone, and your poor nephew is having an even worse time than most.

It's no surprise if he is feeling hurt and jealous of all that he is being deprived.

He may say "I hate you", but he keeps turning up at your door.

As the other posters have already said, this kid needs your support.

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Forget talking to her. You need to contact the authorities immediately to get her son out of that situation. It's not fair to him that no one has stepped in to intervene when they know full well what his life is like.

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Look in your area if there is a bi-polar support group, they might be able to help her when she is acting this way.

 

Contact the welfare to help with your nephew, he do not deserve this treatment from his mum, her illness is not a excuse to treat him like that. She should have plans in place if she can't care for him. He is 17 and needs help to say he had enough of it, he can't do it alone!

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