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Its so hard! I hate him :(


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I broke up with my bf of 3years about a month ago. Since then we've spoke pretty much every day over email. i went on hol with my friends about a week after we broke up and emailed him a few times there but then realised it was ruining my holiday and making me sad.

 

I have been depressed for a few months, but since breaking up it went worse after we broke up, i cried all the time, i just cant get over all the hurt he has caused me over past few months we broke up for loads of reasons - him hardly wanting to see me and being with his friends all the time, taking drugs, going away for a month with his friend when he told me he would go away with me... so much!

When we were together though, we were the best couple ever we always laughed n were always happy...

 

I cant get over it. All i remember from our relationship is bad stuff and why did he hurt me so much. All i can think of is "why" all the time...why did he not want to spend more time with me (wer at different uni's) why did he take drugs, why didnt he want to come on holiday abroad with me this year like he promised...

He changed so much when he started second year of uni. First week he was there - he asked me to come up so i did spent £15 on trains, stayed maybe 1/2 nights and wanted me to go home because he wanted to go out with his friends.

I just cant understand why he changed from bein a guy who wanted to see me all the time, asked who guys were in pictures if i was on them, said he would never take the drug he took to the opposite

i tried to speak to him about it all the time he said "yeh i know ill change" etc but he didnt...

 

I know i cannot chnage anything, but it hurts and makes me feel worthless I have told him the past few weeks i hate him and ask him why did he hurt me so much why did he change, but the answers he gives hurt too...

 

How do i stop myself from emailing him and texting him al the time saying i hate him and how hurt i am, how do i stop thinking about how much he hurt me??

 

He is going away for a month tomorrow where he has no internet and no signal on his phone..i hope it helps me....

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How to leave an abusive relationshi...
How to leave an abusive relationship and why it's so hard

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