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Women are just dudes with long hair


furious

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I have a friend who is quite nervous around the opposite sex. I mean really nervous. His legs might shake/spasm a bit when talking to an attractive girl.

 

Or atleast that's how he used to be. He said he changed by completely altering his perception. He now sees girls as "dudes with long hair." (At least when he is conversing with them). And it apparently has helped him tremendously.

 

I just thought I'd like to share. Has anyone overcoming nervousness used a tactic like this?

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This is pretty much the same idea but treating girls as regular people rather than a separate species was something I read about awhile back. For me it's helped me not worry so much if I've impressing them and focus more on the conversation. It does help to calm you down when talking to girls, that's for sure.

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I think men tend to forget women are human and vice versa. We are all human, if you are nervous odds are so is the other person, they just may have more skills in hiding it.

 

We just want the same things, to be respected, listened to, and treated with courtesy.

 

Also, I always thought if some men moved their eyes up from the boobs to our eyes, they would be less nervous. I am not saying all men are like that, but I have seen some where it wouldn't do any harm.

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Does your friend hit on men with long hair now?

 

I never could use any tricks like this. I have a hard time fooling myself. And when I do pretend that women are just men, then I come accross as not attracted to them. I need to find the right balance between showing nervous attraction but not being so nervous that I can't speak well.

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If I find a girl attractive... picturing her to be just a guy with long hair doesn't work for me...my imagination doesn't go that far thank goodness lol!

 

However, I understand the concept behind looking at girls this way.

 

I've tried similar thoughts (she's a human being or picturing her as a guy friend or whatever). Although none of this works for me so I'm still looking for some kind of tactic that will work for me...so far no luck.

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I don't know about the rest of you, but there is no way i could ever believe that a female was just a guy with long hair, i'm just to logical and it would never work for me.

 

I think a better way to look at this is see women for what they are and why they are so great, and why interacting with them is something that you should do.

 

First off, yes women are people just like men, they have feelings, they have insecurities (often times WAY more than you would ever think), and they too put their pants on one leg at a time, whether they are grounded enough to realize that or not. haha

 

However, from there they are very different, hence why males are attracted to them. Now this may seem like something that is scary, but that's the best part of them, they are different from all your buddies.

 

My question to you, is it that women themselves scare you, or is it these situations that you create in your mind that scare you? Do you have trouble ordering food from a waitress? Or setting up an appointment with the receptionist at an office? I say its a safe bet that you don't.

 

Now i can already hear the critics on this one; but i have a reason to talk to them, they have to talk to me, its their job. And my answer to this is yes you are right. But you also have a reason to talk to them outside of these situations; you are a male and you are supposed to be attracted to females. At this point you can give yourself some slack, and you dont need to try and create any kind of interest. Instead, just talk to them. Say hi, how are you, and by the rules of society and social dynamics, they will respond back. If they are warm and friendly, talk to them more. If they arnt, then you can stop right there. They just eliminated them from your picking and you can go on with your day to the next friendly person. And from this you can move on to bigger and better things.

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My question to you, is it that women themselves scare you, or is it these situations that you create in your mind that scare you? Do you have trouble ordering food from a waitress? Or setting up an appointment with the receptionist at an office? I say its a safe bet that you don't.

I can't speak for other men, but I do have trouble in situations like these sometimes. Like if it's a restaurant or office that I've never been to before. I tend to think about what I need to say and go over it in my mind a lot. I guess I worry that they will say something or ask me something that I wasn't prepared for and stumble and not know how to answer. These situations don't always have to be with women.

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I have a friend who is quite nervous around the opposite sex. I mean really nervous. His legs might shake/spasm a bit when talking to an attractive girl.

 

Or atleast that's how he used to be. He said he changed by completely altering his perception. He now sees girls as "dudes with long hair." (At least when he is conversing with them). And it apparently has helped him tremendously.

 

I just thought I'd like to share. Has anyone overcoming nervousness used a tactic like this?

 

lol, an interesting aproach indeed...

sounds like my statement in 2004 - "we're all humans", so, why the heck should I be nervous...

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