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Introducing your wife to your (girl) friend from work


Large_Farva
Husband Is Too Friendly With A Cowo...
Husband Is Too Friendly With A Coworker (What Does That Mean?)

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Recently I asked a friend from work, who is a girl, to come to my house to watch something on TV.

 

She and my wife have met, and I sometimes talk about her with my wife. So far so good it seems.

 

Today my wife said, there was some tension in the air that evening. I didn't see it, but I cowarded away. I guess I feel guilty investing time into another woman that's not your wife. Anyway, I asked my wife why she felt that way, and was convinced that something else must be going on. Just waiting there to grab me right from under her. "Here's a nice guy who makes good money." I told her, wait till you get to know her. Besides, doesn't that make here any better... Ok, she cooks and clean, but there is no emotion in our relationship.

 

Even tho she's just a work friend, and nothing else, no sexual tension, no inuendo. I'm not a cheater, it takes too much effort, my work colleage doesn't care for it either. We talk a lot at work, during smoke-breaks.

 

So am I wrong for inviting a "girl" over. We both have kids, it be nice if we can all be friends. It's much better then having my wife become anti-social on her computer. I'd be nice if she can have a friend, even tho i'd be pretty dangerous, as my friends knows a lot about me.

 

Tell me what are the rules on this kind of thing? Is there an uncontious hidden motive? Am I out of line? I think I may have blown it a bit, not being as forthcoming about things I do at work.

 

And no, i'm not thing about trading up, i'd rather be single!

 

Farva

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I think in the future it would be better to talk to your wife first prior to asking your friend to come over. At least then your wife can feel a part of the process rather than just having this other woman suddenly show up.

 

Other than that I think keeping your friendship as a "couples" friendship where you always participate with your wife is the best way to go. After all, if you are not doing anything alone with this woman well then your wife can see you aren't cheating.

 

not being as forthcoming about things I do at work.

 

What exactly do you mean by this?

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Ok I just read a previous post where you think your wife is flirting and chatting online.

 

 

 

It is no wonder there are some issues with your friend. I think your marriage has more severe problems than I thought.

 

Have you two gone to counseling together? If not, I think you really should...

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I don't think what you did was wrong.

 

Except I do want to know if you asked your wife it she was ok with it, before you invited your friend over? If she completely agreed to it, then I don't see that you did anything wrong.

 

You are being open and honest about your friendship, which is a good thing.

 

Sounds like your wife is feeling a bit insecure. Could your friend be better looking than your wife? Maybe she feels a bit threatened by her. If so, then as her husband, you should reinforce your feelings for her and reassure her that this woman is ONLY a friend and you just thought she might like to get to know her...

 

Just my two cents.

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Have you two gone to counseling together? If not, I think you really should...

 

Uh, no never happened. I guess I kinda just let it be. Our relationship is pretty much empty. Doesn't have much of anything in it. Maybe that's what I like, no hassle, but also nothing else.

 

Yes, she knew about it, can't say she was extatic about it, more of a hassle cleaning the living/bathroom and such.

 

About forthcoming, well about how much time I spend, and what we talk about. I feel somewhat guilty for spending so much time, even tho only at work. Now I want to move her into the out-of-work time also. Even tho with good intention, or am I kidding myself?

 

Farva

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Well I think you really need to address the core issues of your marriage. Either that or realize there isn't a marriage there and end it. Otherwise you'll simply rationalize yourself into an affair and that will make things really ugly in a hurry. Ignoring the issues do not make them go away. It only makes them surface in other ways (such as the issue over your friend).

 

Do you want the marriage to improve? If you do, then it's time to start working on it and fighting for it. Otherwise the only person you have to blame is yourself.

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