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Should I be worried???


achick05

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My husband recently came accross this website that still makes me feel uneasy. Basically, it's a site that shows girls in normal everyday clothes and then if you click the link below that picture, it's another picture of them either fully naked or just of their private area... no holes barred (forgive the pun). Anyways, he had mentioned this site to me once before and we even laughed at some of the pictures... but I didn't think it would ever become an issue. I thought "OK, he saw the site, it's over and done with." No. He visits the site almost daily and tells me that "it's interesting" yet he doesn't "get off" to it. I know that most of the time he's either viewing the site when I'm asleep or when he's in the bathroom... so do I just trust him when he says that it's just for viewing purposes and not masturbatory purposes?

 

Yes, I feel jealous of the site. I feel inferior because I don't look like some of those women with big boobs or tight bodies. He KNOWS how I feel about the site but that's why he constantly tells me he just finds it amusing and nothing more. Am I just overreacting on this issue???

 

Thanks.

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Yeah, I know. I just wish it would go away. I mean, I don't think our sexual relationship has changed any... but my self-esteem has decreased a bit... like I have something to live up to with these other women. Most of my friends I would mention this to would tell me something like "well, at least he's not going OUT to get anything on the side" but still... this just feels like a gateway to just that.

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Just last week I saw he was on the site and when I confronted him about it, he gave me this schpiel (sp?) saying he didn't want it to hurt my feelings and that I don't have anything to worry about. What am I supposed to say to that besides it DOES hurt my feelings? Then his response is that I need to get over it because all guys like looking at naked women and porn -- it's natural.

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It's interesting that you saw it with him initially and then assumed it was over because that's the conversation that went on in your mind.

 

It's pretty clear what he's doing with it. It wouldn't bother me or hurt my self-esteem. I think that if he treats you well and your sex life isn't affected, work to not let it bother you. Keep the lines of communication open though. If it's not a dealbreaker or anything close, you may need to live with it and realize it's about a fantasy more than him calling you inadequate.

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I think relationships are about compromise. I don't think it should just be up to you to get over it. If he loves you, I kind of think he should limit his use or stop going there. I mean.... it's making you feel bad for natural reason. Is there any compromise that can made where you both are happy?

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