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I don't think I can do this! Need ADVICE PLEASE! :(


amiami19

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I'm breaking up with my boyfriend. Well, I'm being a "coward" by leaving the country in august and going back home and NOT telling him.

 

The thing is, I really love him. I do. Honest. And I cannot say goodbye to him and break up with him. So I am just leaving.

 

See he said he was going to call me so we can see eachother again once or twice (see other posts if you want: to make it short he said he was too busy for me...etc). BUT I'm not going to wait for a call I know won't come.

 

He thinks I am going to cave and call him, but I have already damgaged my pride beyond repair and it's not going to happen.

 

So I am so depressed right now, I cannot put it in words, if you have ever been in love or are in love you understand.

 

But I am coming back again in winter and next summer to visit my family, and I am scared to hear that he has moved on or is married.

 

How do I make peace with the fact that I cannot be with the man I love?

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We've been in a long distance relationship for about a year now. I travled thousands of miles to see him and it took him 3 weeks to come and see me even though I was 15 minutes away from his HOUSE!!!!! And we started fighting and having problems even before I left, so here we were fighting again. Then I saw him out with HIS FRIENDS but too busy for me. When I asked him about it he said he didn't have time for a girlfriend and started flirting with other girls.. I believe. ..then I realized we live so far away.. and we're so broken. I just don't see it working...he doesn't love me.

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Well, though I know its hard to hear, I don't know that it would work either. If you're willing to travel thousands of miles to see him, and he behaves that way...then later tells you he doesn't have "time" for a gf? That's too bad...I know how it feels when the other person doesn't feel the same way you do.

 

At first, when you said you were just going to leave and not actually talk to him about breaking up, I thought that seemed a little harsh. Now I understand. This is very cliche`, but I personally believe things happen for a reason and that maybe this means you're meant to find someone who will actually appreciate the effort you make. The time away should certainly help you find peace, right?

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It really hurts when the person you believe was meant for you does not feel the same. I have had this happen as well. I remember being so shocked, thinking this is not how it is supposed to be! When you find your true love I thought it was supposed to be reciprocal!! I can tell you it has taken me years and I am still not over it, although I was happily in another relationship for a long time with someone else. In the end, I hate to tell you that I am still not over it. However I also know that it is never a happy or emotionally fulfilling relationship when that reciprocity is missing. It hurts that he does not love you, but you will never get what you want from this relationship, you would never be happy, always feel like you are chasing him. It is exhausting. Hopefully the idea that he could never give you what you need emotionally will be your mantra. When you want to think about him, just always think how unhappy you would be with someone who could never love you the way you love him. Time will make it better, I promise.

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Thank for you for the advice.... but... here goes another problem. I changed my mind! I have to talk to him .. I have to let him know! I cannot go home ..wondering what if .. what if ... I love him and I put myself in his shoes..if it was me I would want to know... his pride is just too big too call or too admit he's wrong.. someone has do it right?! I have to know..I cannot leave.

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