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After she makes the moves she wants to be friends?


MushroomGod
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5 Signs of A Strong Friendship – Spotting A True Friend

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So a few weeks ago I invited a few friends over to play cards. My one friend brings her sister in law who I've known for awhile now as acquaintances but have always found attractive. I flirted with her and really got the feeling she was into me. Flash forward a few weeks later and its her brother's birthday. We go out and her and I click. Her bother and my friend want to go home so this girl and I decide to go out together. When we do she makes the first move and kisses me. Al and all I thought it was a good night. Her and I haven't had much contact since. I called her and asked her out, she said she was busy, She texted me to see if I was working (I bartend), I wasn't. Well last night she comes to my bar with her friend and I find out from her friend that she just wants to be friends with me.

 

What can turn a girl cold after she was so hot? She said something to my friend that I could be an ass and she's too sensitive. That sounds like an excuse to me plus, she's never rejected me to my face. I just don't get it I don't see that I've done anything wrong for her to have a change of heart. Sad part is I really liked her. I'm not sure even if my chance is gone or not here. Any thoughts on this would be appreciated.

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You need a woman to answer this one. It's sounds pretty strange to me.

 

Sorry, I can't help. It's just a little too nuts for me. She is acting more the way you would expect a guy too. We are usually the ones to want a sexual thrill and maybe nothing more, but girls usually aren't like that.

 

Weird...

 

If there's nothing to lose at this point though, you might just try to confront her directly and tell her how you feel, and ask her where she is coming from.

 

Are you sure she doesn't have some commitment to someone else? If she did it might explain things.

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Sometimes a person just doesn't feel that "click" after a date or two. It happens. It's not a commentary on you, and it doesn't mean she's playing you.

 

But you probably shouldn't depend on hearsay from her friend. Who knows if the friend is accurately reporting what she said? Sometimes friends are jealous & catty. Call her up and ask her out. If she's "busy" again you've probably got your answer, but at least you'll know you tried.

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hm.. this is just my point of view if I was in the girls shoes!

 

She may have really liked you. A LOT. (Most girls don't make the first move unless it's really someone they like). But, the fact that a friend of hers told YOU that she just wants to be friends, says to me that she may have talked to her friends about you and the fact that she liked you and her friends may not approve of you (I don't know why, usually jealousy) and talked her out of seeing you again.

 

Or... she may have liked you and wanted to start something..but you may have said something which was harmless but she as a senstive person took it to heart.

 

But I must say the fact that even after she kissed you... she has a friend reject you for her is in bad taste! What's up with that?

 

You sound like a nice guy! You'll find someone else!

 

BUT if you REALLY like this girl ask her to talk to you. (just the two of you) and at least try to get some honest answers which you deserve!

 

Good Luck Love!

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#1 very quite possible that she is interested in you, but just doesn't want to show her hand for fear of getting hurt. Girls don't like to put themselves out there like that from all the bad experiences with "jerks" out there who took advantage of them. In that case just keep pursuing her as if you think she is interested (call her, try and spend time with her, make a move and take it further this time).

 

If that's not the case, then she lost interest because you don't show enough interest with women fast enough. This is definitely something I've come accross in the last few months of doing pick up, girls have a short attention span for guys who don't seem all that interested in them, which they should have that view. In most cases, they're right. I've been harping on you long enough about how you need to call these girls more often and sooner, just all around a more aggressive plan of action. Like me, you're naturally lazy about this kind of stuff. It's something I have to make a conscious effort to work against. Like calling a girl the next day after I get her number I have to open up my phone and dial the number as fast as I can in order not to lazy/chicken out of calling her. And it's been working great.

 

Bottom line advice, call her. Now and more often. Try and get together with her. If she brings up the fact that she only sees you as a friend, (nicely) tell her that you like her. You can be nice about it and tell her that you are not remotely interested in just being her friend.

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I agree with heloladies21. Also, maybe she didn't like the kiss. I know it sounds dumb, but some girls won't give you a second chance because they get a "feeling" about you. It's kind of dumb because went women do this it just forces men to come on a lot stronger, like heloladies21 said to do. And this leads to men showing what seems like a lot of interest at first, then giving up soon afterward.

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here is one of the possibilities Ive had and seen.

The short of it is her friend decided she didn't like you or was jealous and persuaded her to condemn you to the friend's zone.

 

Unless you are a totally horrible kisser(read slobbering, terrible breath, etc) The kiss won't sink you and the fact she made the first move means she had genuine interest. This has been my experience.

 

She puts a lot of stock in her friends opinion and her friend wasn't feeling you. Women won't date anyone they think are contrary to their friend's standards.

 

Same reason approaching a bunch of girls never works. They read their friends body language and if it negative they reject.

 

It's very hard to recover this one and I'd just ignore any further contact from her and move on. If you call or contact her it will be read a desperate, unfortunately. You can, however, let her see you date other girls and it might just get her jealous enough to want you back.

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Her friend is one of my best friends. That's why I take her words seriously. I've dated her friends in the past. I don't think she had anything to with this girl sort of rejecting me. I'm really not sure what happened thats why I asked for advice. But I'm ruling out that her friend said it was a bad idea.

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What can turn a girl cold after she was so hot?

 

A variety of things.

 

It could be that a new Russian Satellite was launched, the sun came up a degree different than it was two months ago, the temperature changed or the wind shifted.

 

I hope you can sense the sarcasm, but women go from hot to cold at the snap of a finger. No reasons and no excuses.

 

Its a mystery of life.

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Her friend is one of my best friends. That's why I take her words seriously. I've dated her friends in the past. I don't think she had anything to with this girl sort of rejecting me. I'm really not sure what happened thats why I asked for advice. But I'm ruling out that her friend said it was a bad idea.

 

It's a tricky one, because even if you trust your friend, words and intentions can get mixed up in transit (remember that game "telephone"?)

 

Plus, I know you don't want to hear it, but jealousy can be a funny thing.

 

Some of the other posters have made some very good points, and heloladies21 in particular offers some advice worth considering.

 

Food for thought: If she wasn't interested at all, it's seriously doubtful that she'd have made the effort to visit you at work.

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