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Men: do you equate sex with love?


weakwatershade
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This might sound crazy, but I really only enjoy sex when it's with someone I love. I've tried one-nighters or casual sex and it never works for me. I feel guilty and confused almost instantly. If I'm feeling that way then I know I shouldn't be doing it.

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Maybe he just meant that in general people don't have to be in love to have sex. I'm sure he didn't mean that if he was in love, he couldn't have sex: that would be weird though...

 

Personally, I need to feel something but he is probably right in the general sense.

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No I don't equate sex with love.

Reason being there is no "spark".

I don't enjoy sex without a spark so I don't see any point to having sex without another for the sheer sake of it.

 

I guess there are people out there who have not had the "spark" when being intimate, where two people are so close yet it doesn't feel enough to the point where both are holding each other so tight beacuse thay want to be closer than humanly possible.

 

Maybe thats whats missing. . .

 

Maybe some "many" guys haven't evolved from the need of just spreading thier seed.

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It takes me quite awhile to fall love. Same with friendship. It can take a year or more to develop a good friendship and often takes me a number of months at least before I fall in love. As a result, I typically have sex with a partner before being in love and before having a true lasting friendship. So I don't necessarily equate sex and love. I also don't hold back any of my feelings when I have sex. Whatever I feel, I tend to express sexually, be it love or other emotions. I consider that the natural way of doing things for me.

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I recently heard a male friend say he doesn't at all equate love with sex. I am guessing he meant that he could enjoy sex with someone he didn't love. It probably didn't mean he would have no problem not having sex with someone he did love. Opinions guys?

 

I personally believe that alot of guys out there can enjoy sex with someone they don't love or care about. I believe that most men are carnal - at least to some degree - and since sex is a flesh urge (like hunger), it doesn't take actual love to fufill the need.

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sex is a physical act for me. when you have a mental connection with someone and communicate well, you can make the physical more satisfying though.

 

I would never ever date a guy with this attitude. Because I'd miss out on so much if I do.

 

to the OP, I think most men do not equate love with sex. But there are men that need some emotions there to want to have sex, does not have to be full blown love though.

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I have to like someone to have sex because I don't want to give someone pleasure that I don't like. It's more about giving than receiving to me. So for me I would say I don't need to be "in love" but I need to like the woman. Many men probably don't feel the same way. The other thing is, it depends on if you use the definition of love according to women or according to men.

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Men: do you equate sex with love?

 

It depends what vantage point you are looking from. If you are in a loving relationship then sex is part of that equation.

 

If it is simply you have sex with someone it equals love then I would say absolutely not.

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Sex and love are two completely different things. Sex is a physical act and love is an emotion. Having sex with a person doesnt mean that you love them. People may want to have sex with a person they love because in their mind it heightens the experience but that doesnt make sex more than just an act.

 

If a person chooses to have sex only when they love a person then there is nothing wrong with that but they wish to elevate sex to something beyond a physical act into some kind of physical manifestation of their feelings. I believe that this is just expressing their deep desire for something more than a physical act, in essence the sex has to mean something more or it doesnt mean anything.

 

I appreciate sex for the physical act that it is and I do expect it to be more than that. I like engaging in the physical act irrespective of the feelings involved.

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I recently heard a male friend say he doesn't at all equate love with sex. I am guessing he meant that he could enjoy sex with someone he didn't love. It probably didn't mean he would have no problem not having sex with someone he did love. Opinions guys?

 

i don't. I see no reason to, since sex to me is about pleasure.

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Care to elaborate?

Not really.

 

It just seems that women fall in love quickly with men after having sex with them. For men it is more about familiarity and it takes longer to develop.

 

They actually study what happens in the brain during sex and after having an orgasm. It causes people to be attracted to the person they had sex with. So I think sex can make people fall in love with their partner. It seems like it happens with women more than man though.

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I personally believe that alot of guys out there can enjoy sex with someone they don't love or care about. I believe that most men are carnal - at least to some degree - and since sex is a flesh urge (like hunger), it doesn't take actual love to fufill the need.

 

I won't pretend to know what it is to be a man, cause I'm not.

 

But I know that feeling of being overrun with pure carnal desire - not even having to like a person nor care about them, where it is simply about a physical release.

 

Now I imagine that much stronger - with all that testosterone rushing through a male body - and it makes sense to me that there are plenty of men out there who primarily operate with the mentality you mention.

 

I'm a woman but relate to Melrich's post the most. Sex doesn't equal love to me, but sex can be part of loving someone. It all depends on the viewpoint and mentality you bring to it (or not).

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