Should i Act on Feelings For Her

[jaymz]

For those of you who havent read my previous posts, im at the police academy at the moment, and there is a girl in my class who i have become good friends with because we at first were always grouped together. Anyway when i first saw her i wasnt really attracted to her, she is a really cool girl and i have become intensley attracted to her recently (because of her personaility). It happened slowly over a few weeks, first i always got excited to hang out with her, and then would always try be partnered with her. Then eventually ive started to find her attractive.

 

So a bit of background on my love life, i havent had a gf in about 5 years, mainly because of shyness (which ive overcome), then because of the shyness i was relatively inexperienced when i over came the shyness and was still using "high school moves" (e.g. asking a girl out via text, etc). Every girl i have dated has gone cold on me (i havent made it past a first date). In addition to this i have also had some horrible luck (last 2 gfs left me for other girls, more recently girls who are interested in me have bfs and the timing is wrong).

 

Anyway so i finally think i know how to do things properly now, however im already preparing to fail because of my past, most times i think i have a shot but this time i actually dont. Here is why: she has told me she doesnt go for younger guys (im 2 years younger). She has told me she isnt looking for a boyfriend at the moment, she is really picky when it comes to looks (not to say im not goodlooking, but she thinks 9/10 guys are ugly).

 

I have alot to loose on this one because we are good friends, i was betrayed by my last bestfriend a while back and havent had a best friend since (i do have alot of close friends though) And honestly, ive messed up good friendships in the past because of feelings ive acted on. I tried to tell myself the thing i need the most right now is a friend, despite what my feelings tell me but i cant fight it anymore.

 

The other thing i should note is people have asked me infront of her alot if i like her, which i have obviously denied, the reason being its not the right time yet and if im to have any chance of succeeding its best i wait. And people in my class have teased us about being a couple, which we both kind of laugh off.

 

I dont want it to sound as if im negative or anything, but im just painting the picture for why i have such a fear of doing this, and a fear of what i could loose.

 

So what i was planning on doing is waiting until graduation in 5 weeks and asking her out then, but before i go and risk it all i would just like some opinions from everyone. Good or bad i need to hear it

[onewithbooks]

hmm, I think if I were you I would definitely wait.

 

1. She says she is not looking for anything

2. If it doesnt work out it could get REALLY awkward to go to school with her.

 

Be prepared for a rejection. I am too a woman who does not go for younger guys. I have in the past b/c they "seem mature" and inevitably it just doesnt work out. We just wind up not being in the same place in life. Sometimes they wanted more, i.e. marriage and kids and other times they reverted back in age like I was supposed to take care of them.

 

Also you make a vaild point about losing a potential friendship. That is always a concern. You want to make sure you are solid in that before you make a move. You dont want to ruin something great if things dont work out.