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When do you Facebook them?


Carpe Diem

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So here's a silly and pointless question that I've been curious about for a while (but that's what ENA is for, right?)...

 

When do you add someone you're dating as a Facebook friend (assuming you didn't meet them from your circle of existing friends)? I'm very reluctant to add girls that I've been on even a number of dates with, because if it doesn't work out and I don't otherwise see or know them, I like to just move on and not have any continuing connection to them. Also, adding someone gives them a continuing window into your life and friends.

 

In the same vein, when do you change your FB status to being in a relationship with someone? When you decide to date someone exclusively? At some other point when you both decide it's serious? For me, when I agree to date someone exclusively (again, assuming I didn't know the person prior to dating) is when I'd feel comfortable with them being an FB friend. But I'm not sure I'd want to change my status until I was to the "meeting the friends and family stage", which could come a bit after exclusivity.

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It's really up to you. I like to network so I even have very casual acquaintances as my FB friends. As for the relationship status, I would change it when I know I could comfortably call a guy my boyfriend.

 

I was surprised by the Open Relationship option on FB. I wonder if anyone uses it seriously? You would think people would keep things like that a little more private. But oh well. My FB status say I'm in an open relationship with my camera as a joke.

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This facebook business is a real pain in the ass when it comes to relationships. I personally don't add guys that I'm talkin to. Not that it matters or anything; I don't care if they see my page, I've got nothing to hide. I just figure they'll add me if they want to. And if they add me, I accept the request.

 

I think changing your status is pretty official. Like the joke goes, if it's "facebook official," then you know it's for real. But there's a lot of truth to that. I've only ever had two boyfriends that were official on facebook. I also let the guy initiate that, because I'll get the little request letting me know that someone is changing their status to "In a relationship with Southern" and whether or not I want his to say this and also mine say it. I just leave it up to him. If he wants to change it, so be it. That should only be for exclusive relationships though.

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As my friend says "it's not oficial until it's facebook official!"

 

I get your question though. The internet is a tricky (annoying???) thing. I would add her if you are serious about the relationship becoming long term. If you think it might be casual then don't bother.

 

The second part of your question is even trickier. I would say that you should just ask her if you are dating or a couple. She might think you are just dating while you might think you are a couple. Either way, make things less complicated by have a conversation on what you want and where you want things to go.

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I guess it depends...with my last ex, we added each other the day after we met. With my boyfriend now, we didn't add each other for a couple of weeks after we started dating. In either case, though, we changed to "In a Relationship" only after the talk about being exclusive.

 

The way I see it is, if I'd been on a date with a guy--even just one--and I got a friend request from him the very next day, it's not like I'd deny the request (as long as it was a good date, lol). If things don't work out, you can always delete each other later. So what's the big deal, really?

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