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'Making Up' books: Tall Claims, obviously, but any good at all?


moonbug

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After I had broken up with my ex, three months ago, out of desperation I had logged on to several websites that offered help to 'get your girlfriend back for good'. In the end, they always seemed to be asking for a whole lot of money and I just stumbled on ENA in the meantime, so I never got into the whole thing.

 

Still, I do get some junk mail from a few places I registered. One of these places claims to sell a book called 'How To Get Her Back For Good.' by a certain George Karanastasis. I have been getting mails about success stories where exes returned in like 3 days (yeah right!) after the dumpees applied 'techniques' mentioned in the book.

 

I am positive this is going to be some really ordinary book. But just out of curiosity, has anyone read this book? It does amount to admitting that you were once so desperate that you purchased this book, but is there anyone out there who is going to admit to it? And secondly, is it any good? I mean, I am not falling into the whole advertising trap here, but how is the book in general, the testimonials and success stories and junk mail, notwithstanding.

 

I wonder sometimes what these 'Making up' books have to say. I mean, there can't be some profound advice that regular people, like say the ones here on ENA, can't think of right? Or is there? Just wanted to know.

 

So anyone who has any experience with such books, please let us know.

 

PS: I have read a couple of books that I happened to find. They had some good advice. But no real 'techniques' that are 'guaranteed' to do something so that 'the relationship would instantly take a 180 degree turn and she'd start making steps to come towards YOU.' I mean this sounds a bit too much right?

 

So let us know!

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There's no technique to get an ex back in 3 days and whoever claims to know a method to do that is just an evil person who wants to make money over people who are too heartbroken to think straight and realize it's all BS.

 

I remember a similar thread being posted here a couple months ago and apparently all these "make up" books say is go NC, work on yourself and try to approach your ex after 3 months have passed.

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Still, I do get some junk mail from a few places I registered. One of these places claims to sell a book called 'How To Get Her Back For Good.' by a certain George Karanastasis. I have been getting mails about success stories where exes returned in like 3 days (yeah right!) after the dumpees applied 'techniques' mentioned in the book.

That's actually not a bad book, though it certainly doesn't contain any secrets. This Karanastasis guy places a big emphasis on not panicking and on getting one's act together, and he outlines different courses of action depending on one's circumstances. He also emphasizes the need to examine oneself to figure out how you went wrong and how you might avoid making those mistakes again. Finally, if you do get to the reconnection phase, he advises you on how you might handle it, and if you do actually reunite, he advises you on what happens next.

 

He doesn't claim, though, that he has a way to get you back together in anything like three days. To the contrary, it's more of a long-haul approach. But make note that, at 119 pages, he gives you a lot more to think about than "It's over, forget about her, move on," which would be worthless.

 

As you might surmise, the book doesn't really contain anything you might not find here, but it's well organized and (reasonably) well written. (The editing could use some polish, to be honest.) The difference is that here you have to wade through lots of chaff to get to the wheat.

 

Is the book opportunistic? Sure. It's a commercial venture, after all. Is it worth 40 bucks? I dunno, that depends on what $40 means to you. But it is pretty well done, and it's not an overt scam or rip off. I actually recommend it as long as you're looking for level-headed guidance, not miracles. I'd balance it, though, with a relationship book written by credentialed counselors, such Getting Back Together: How to Reconcile With Your Partner -- and Make it Last by Bettie Youngs and Masa Goetz, which also explores the value of separation, an aspect that commonly gets overlooked.

 

Keep in mind, of course, that none of these books is going to help you now if your ex simply doesn't want to communicate with you on any level. Only time, if anything, can fix that.

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They have some good ideas in theory. They outline what you should start doing sometimes, other times they are complete garbage. But in my opinion dont waste your money, just hang around here and read the top rated posts, you will find all you need and more.

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I agree with Brownstone. I have read that book, and it's very organized, and goes into just about every possible scenerio you could be involved in, and how to go about doing the things that increase the chances or reconciliation based on which scenerio your situation falls under.

 

I didn't see any guarantees though, because it could be your ex just doesn't want to get back with you no matter what. If $39 is not a big deal to you, it might be a good guide for you. There is a lot of good stuff to glean.

 

If money is tight, just hang around here. However, I think there is way too much "just move on" advice on this board. That is easy to say to another person when you aren't emotionally involved in their particular break up. But sometimes it is the best thing to do, especially if your ex if heavily involved with someone else now.

 

My 17 year old daughter just broke up with her boyfriend of 3 months last night. He had been sneaking around his ex gf, and then lying to my daughter about it. So she wrote this on her Facebook status this morning: "and the award for the best liar goes to you for makin me believe that u could be faithful to me. let's hear your speech. outt". Best to move on in this situation.

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None of these books can give you a guarantee and they're not going to work for every relationship. I must confess though, I did read several and set about applying the "tehniques". What eventuated was that during this time, I felt better about myself, about being without my ex and happier and more fulfilled with my life. As it so happens, I got my ex back and I'm in a much better place.

 

I don't know how much the books had to do with the transition but they were certainly a catalyst of sorts.

 

That being said, there is some good advice on these boards. If you don't expect these books will definitely lead to reconciliation, they can be good to read.

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