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How embarrassing


benzoingum

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Hi,

 

I have an embarrassing problem.. I doubt that I am abnormal... I've never had a pelvic exam because I don't feel comfortable with the tips of my finger. I have placed my index finger inside my vagina and it hurts like someone stuck a knife inside there. When I observe myself on the mirror, I don't see a hole. Am I supposed to relax... How does it stretch?

 

I don't know how girls would normally feel after their first exploration... Is it supposed to hurt?

 

Just recently, I started dating, thus, never had the early sexual exploration that most teens have. I'm curious about sex and I do have those feelings to fill this physical void inside... I'm well lubricated. but my own fingers doesn't satisfy me.

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Hi,

it's unlikely you are abnormal. Do you have periods? I'm only asking because a friend of my daughter's was similar to you but had lots of pain and it turned out she was right - there actually was no 'hole' - only about a quarter of an inch, which was enough to fool her visually but there was no vagina. Her refusal to get a pelvic exam until a few years on led to her having huge, HUGE problems which might have been much less if she'd been seen earlier. I should stress that that was one of those 1 in a million things, and VERY unlikely to be the case with you.

 

So - yes, you're right - it's normal to think your'e abnormal and you're probably fine, but try to get over your fear of having an exam. They will be really gentle with you and only concerned to sort out any problems you may have. It could also be something called vaginismus, which again is very common and perfectly treatable.

 

It can hurt the first time you feel down there, because not being familiar with everywhere can mean you accidentally stretch something too much, or that you have a tight hymen, or that you catch somewhere fragile with a nail... however, I think I'd get checked out if I were you.

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Everybody's anatomy is different. The hymen in some women can cover most of the entrance to the vagina, and some women don't even have a hole and require minor surgery to open it for menstruation to begin.

 

The best way to figure out what is going on is to go to a gynechologist and let them take a look. They do have devices that you can take home to stretch the hymen over time, or if your hymen is too thick and impenetrable (such that sex would be impossible or extremely painful), they can do very minor surgery to open it up a bit.

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I have the exact same problem as you. Sucks, doesn't it? I thought everyone was like us until I started talking to more of my girlfriends and discovered they didn't experience the pain that I did. My boyfriend and I can't really do anything sexual because of it, and I'll be putting off having sex for quite a long time. If you do decide to go to the gyno, you need to emphasize just how painful it is. Do not be shy with them about it because the last thing they want to do is hurt you. The first time I went, I didn't tell her how sensitive everything was (I was too embarrassed to discuss such a thing. I was 14) , and I ended up balling on the table and my gynecologist felt HORRIBLE about it. I would really recommend going in and having it checked out. Just be blunt and honest about the pain you experience and I think it will go a lot better for you than it did for me. Good luck.

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