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justhere
How To Create A Sense of Belonging
How To Create A Sense of Belonging

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I feel like that all the time now, I think I've always felt like this but the feelings didn't come out to the surface until I did run out of friends and run out of people. I only have one friend left now, the others just kinda went away. I didn't do anything but we all kinda just drifted apart. Now I am finding it hard to make new friends or to fit in with anyone. I feel like no one can relate to me.

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Oh, I understand, and here's the funny thing--almost everyone I know has felt that way at some point. The feeling has some strange ability to convince you that it's always been this way, and so it must always be so.

 

It's isolating but nearly universal at the same time.

 

Nobody feels comfortable all the time, and I'd suspect that half the people who appear that way are faking it at any given time.

 

I went into a funk once and my Aunt warned me that if I decide that I don't belong anywhere, I'll make it so. She said finding your 'home' is like finding love--you don't know exactly what it's supposed to feel like, but you'll know it when you get there.

 

Glad we had that little chat. She was right. I kept an open mind, and not only did I get to feel comfortable alone, the solidity I grew into from there made me comfortable enough in my own skin so I could eventually enjoy social situations much better.

 

Early 20's can be a time of leapfrogging until you find solid ground. It sounds like you're getting there. It might help to trust this as a time of growing pains that you can lean into rather than viewing it as a life sentence. You haven't found your fit 'yet' and you sound okay with that. Consider yourself light years ahead of those who will never be okay with that--and they'll compulsively do anything, with anyone, to prove it.

 

In your corner.

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i think everybody feels like this at different points in their lives. i've very much felt this way due to my history, but it doesn't mean you always have to feel this way. you just need to find something you fit into... whether that is a hobby with like-minded people nearby, online or else where.

 

and most importantly, you have to accept who you are. it's okay to be you and different.

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Its just a very disheartening thing to live with. I try to find the place I "fit" but it just doesn't happen. I tend to think of it more when someone says something like "I am really into cars". That is considered a stereotypical thing that guys are interested in and I'm just not. It just serves as a reminder that I truly don't fit in anywhere. I really can't figure it out.

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