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How I Travel Continuously - 8 Years...
How I Travel Continuously - 8 Years & 100 Countries Later

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I was in a relationship with my boyfriend for 4 years. We are both from different countries and met whilst working abroad. When we got back to our own countries, after traveling and working abroad, we had a long distance relationship for 8 months then he moved to my country to be with me. We lived together for over a year and then he decided he didn't like his job and missed his family and friends so much, that he moved back home. He's been back home for 2 years now and we've maintained a LDR, by speaking every night and by seeing each other every few weeks. The next step that we'd planned was that i'd try living in his country, so we could be together again, although there were always complications with this, the main ones being the language barrier, jobs etc.

 

I'd planned to move over to his country and when I tried to bring this up with my BF towards the end of last year, he always seems to avoid talking about it (at first he was keen), then when I pushed a bit more he broke up with me, saying the excitement had gone out of our relationship. To cut a long story short, we got back together again after a week. When we got back together he said he knew exactly what he wanted and that he'd just needed time to realise it. For months after we got back together and up until recently, he was constantly asking me when are you going to move to my country. I was always caution after what happened last time. Away, over the last few months I'd started to look into moving to his country and at first he was right behind me saying this was definitely what he wanted etc. Then suddenly last week he told me, he wasn't sure this was what he wanted, I said I can't be with someone who doesn't know what they want and we broke up. I've not heard anything from him since; but i've also not contacted him. I'm trying not to make excuses for him, but he's slightly younger than me and because of our circumstances if I was to move to his country i'd be quite dependent and 'needy' of him until I found my feet.

 

I can't believe he's hurt me like this again, especially as it was him that was pushing for me to move and last time we saw each other we were getting on well. I just really don't understand his behaviour? Surely, if he did want to be with me he would have contacted me now? I know logically I should not wait around for him and that I need to move on with my life and stop being treated like this, but it's so hard, as I love him so much and was willing to give up everything for him, as he did for me once. Also we've been together for quite a while under the challenging circumstances.

 

I'm so confused by his latest actions, I would welcome anyone's opinion on the situation. Does anyone think we'll get back together again?

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Imagine the pain you're in now on top of being abndoned in a foreign country. Or worse, living with someone who wishes to abandon you but instead sticks around treating you as though you're holding him hostage. That would ruin both your lives.

 

If this guy had truly loved you the way you deserve to be loved, he could have found another job and visited his family as often as he visited you instead. That should tell you more about this match than anything that's happened since.

 

My heart goes out to you. Your grief is understandable. As you move through it, the strength you gain will help you heal and recognize that you deserve to be loved by someone who shares your vision, who views you through the right lens. You'll want wrong matches to pass early. When the right man finds you, you won't suffer any doubts.

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while i think the notion of LDR's are very romantic, i just don't think they are prudent, particularly when we are taling different countries. I know its a cliche, but there are millions of available guys in your own country for which you won't need to sacrifice so much for. I also have a theory that LDR's are a very easy way for commitment phobes to hide their commitment phobia. They can do the whole romantic thing, but there will always be an out for them........distance!!

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How vulnerable do you think that you would feel in another country which is "his territory" and if he would not be into you....

This situation is very painful and makes suffer a lot, is ther a balance with the "good" that you get from this relationship?

And although the distance and you also mentioned that he is younger, have played a huge negative impact between you too, don't you think his attitude is causing more damage than the distance...?? is it worthy the effort?

I wish you all the best, and hope you have love lot of love by your side soon

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