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Fairly new relationship - need advice!


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I have been seeing someone for several months. It was obvious from the start that we had an incredible comfort level with each other. Everything was perfect and easy at first. He seemed so totally into me. Always texting, emailing, calling. Would say some very sweet things. Last month my family had a get together and I invited him to come and meet my family. I do not let just anyone meet my family but we have talked about our future and do plan on moving in together and getting married someday. This has never been a doubt in either of our minds or so I thought.

 

Lately, probably the last 2 weeks, he has been different. The text messages, emails, calls have all dwindled. He NEVER says anything sweet to me. Never tells me he loves me unless I say it first. I have talked to him about this and he said that he noticed he had been acting different but didn't have an explaination for why. He said that he understood why I was bothered and apologized and promised to do better about showing our relationship attention. This lasted all of one day.....now everything is the same.

 

Another thing that has been bothering me and i'm not sure if I'm overreacting.... I have not met ANY of his family or friends except his daughter and his ex wife. He never invites me to do anything with him if his family or friends are involved. This includes his daughter. The only reason I met her is because he wanted my daughter to play ball on their team and fill in at the end of the season. If not for that, I'm not so sure i would have even met her. I am so proud of him and our relationship that I want to yell it from the rooftops that i am in love but seems like he wants to keep me a secret and does not want to open his life up to me. He says this is not true and always has an excuse for not inviting me, says he didn't think about it, that he is a very private person, etc.

 

I'm afraid I might be overreacting but I cannot seem to let these things go...any suggestions??

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People are often very excited and happy in the beginning and make all sorts of thoughts, dreams, and ruminations about possibilities public. I think it's important to know that if you haven't been together that long, you are still in the honeymoon phase. As that wears off, then some of your luster wears off. It's definitely a tough transition, but this time allows for the long lasting part of the relationship to grow.

 

Try not to rest your hopes and future on promises made so early on. It OFTEN happens that before a guy sees your imperfections, he thinks you are perfect. When those rose colored glasses fade, so do his illusions. Pushing him to tell you he loves you makes you seem less and less perfect, more insecure. Lay off him a bit and just relax. Go with the flow and enjoy the relationship as it comes.

 

If, with time, he doesn't start to let you into his life more then it's time to reconsider being with him.

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