Jump to content

im certain he's into me, but he has a girlfriend


anna1

Recommended Posts

in a nutshel(ish):

 

ive been working at this place for a little over a month, and from the start ive had my eye on this guy.

i heard he had a girlfriend so kept my eyes and hands off. until we went out drinking one night when i went back to his. NOTHING happened that night, but when we woke up in the morning there was much intimacy. ie, cuddling up in bed, talking for hours, he kissed my forehead, and just generally feeling really comfortable around eachother. even on the train on the way in to work that day he had his arm around me stroking my shoulder.

 

since then, at work we flirt a lot, not OTT but it is definitely noticeable. which is strange because neither of us are big on flirting. he's constantly looking over to me when he's in another part of the room/building. he often takes his breaks when im having mine (even though we mostly work different hours) and sits with me. also asking me to sneak out for a cigarette with him, and things like leaving his area at work to come talk to me for a while....

 

we have sooo much in common and he's never spoken about his girlfriend, or made a point about her.

 

i feel bad that i DONT feel bad about his girlfriend, because even though, strictly speaking, nothing happened, there was a lot of intimacy and we really connect.

 

i dont know what to do because im only working with him one more day before im moving to another job (even though ill probably still see him and my other co workers a lot)

 

i really like this guy, i feel so at ease around him. im so certain that he likes me too, even my friend said she could tell he likes me.

 

if this does turn out to be just nothing, then at least ive found out that it is possible to like someone as much as i did my ex when we first began.

 

confused x

Link to comment
Share on other sites

strictly speaking, nothing happened

 

Is that how you would feel if you were his girlfriend?

 

Do you actually not know whether or not he has a girlfriend, or do you know for sure? If I were you, I would find out, by asking him if necessary. And if he does, I think you should stay away from him.

 

I understand how you are relieved to find you can like someone again after your break-up, but this does not sound like the right guy to like!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

i feel bad that i DONT feel bad about his girlfriend,

 

I feel bad for you. I suppose I also feel bad for his gf but you are the OP so I'm focused on you and this does not look good for you.

 

Do you want to wind up head over heels for a guy who ultimately, will not leave his girlfriend?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

i think you should ask him about his gf and what is up with that.

 

really? you don't think cuddling in bed was crossing the line? what if your bf did that to you with some other woman? i'm sure you wouldn't mind at all....

Link to comment
Share on other sites

When I read the headline of this topic, my first thought was, 'Gee that is too bad.'

 

IE -- it doesn't matter if he's into you. He's not free. Find someone who is. Not because of morality, though that certainly is important, but because you will suffer a lot less.

 

Find someone who is free to be yours. Or wait until this fruit is free. Whatever you decide, never date someone who's not free to be yours.

 

That is what everything boils down to - don't date people who aren't free. Period. You will suffer less.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Bad choice...

 

1. The guy has a gf

2. You work with him

3. What happens if he started dating you...I have to think perhaps he might do the same thing to you as he is doing to his gf now.

 

I am sure there are more red flags.

 

To many guys out there who are single...keep your distance and go find another guy. Your playing with fire and for sure you are going to get burnt.

 

For the life of me...cannot understand how this guy can be attractive to you when he playing both you and his gf.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

i feel bad that i DONT feel bad about his girlfriend, because even though, strictly speaking, nothing happened, there was a lot of intimacy

Try telling that to his girlfriend. Sharing a bed with another woman's man is crossing the line big time and you know it. How would you feel if your boyfriend (if you ever had one), slept with another woman for a whole night and there was "a lot of intimacy" involved??? Seriously, how WOULD YOU feel??

 

This guy is no better and shame on him too. He has shown his true character to you, that he willingly messes with other women behind his g/f's back. Nice guy.

 

He's taken and is not your's to have. Find someone single.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

THis thread makes me think. Recently a guy who flirts with all kinds of women but has a girlfriend was around me. I flirt back, I like the attention. Do I take him seriously? No. I use him for ego, he's fun. But...is this right to his gf? I mean, sure, if itsnot me, it will be another girl...but still, it does not have to be me.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I don't understand girls! They are so many single amazing nice guys out there but yet you end up getting stuck on the jerks and assholes.

 

Then on top of it you claim you want the nice guy and thats what you are looking for but end up with jerk or * * * * * * * anyway.

 

Theres a lesson in that somewhere...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I'm sorry to say that I have to agree with everyone else, here.

He's taken. He has a girlfriend. And him doing such things behind his girlfriend's back is not OK which isn't your problem but his. However, if you find yourself hoping that he will leave his girlfriend for you, you have a problem, indeed. Be very careful! If the relationship between the two is rather serious then forget it... Really. Because in that case you're definitely the fifth wheel and you will probably be the "Bad One" in the end... Well, let me tell you that nothing is ever certain but don't go and lose yourself in it.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

thanks for the replies, thinkning about it im sure you're all right.

i just got into it a bit too much, but for everyone involved, im going to leave it.

 

i dont want to get hurt, and god knows if i was his girlfriend id be furious!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I don't understand girls! They are so many single amazing nice guys out there but yet you end up getting stuck on the jerks and assholes.

 

Then on top of it you claim you want the nice guy and thats what you are looking for but end up with jerk or * * * * * * * anyway.

 

Theres a lesson in that somewhere...

 

i totally agree, good post.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I don't understand girls! They are so many single amazing nice guys out there but yet you end up getting stuck on the jerks and assholes.

 

Then on top of it you claim you want the nice guy and thats what you are looking for but end up with jerk or * * * * * * * anyway.

 

Theres a lesson in that somewhere...

 

 

If only this were true. Nice guys are so rare it isn't even funny. Especially attractive nice guys...you have to get into a bloodbath to even get one. When an attractive guy pays attention to you, even if he's a jerk, bc there are so few nice guys, its tempting to indulge a little in the attention.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

If only this were true. Nice guys are so rare it isn't even funny. Especially attractive nice guys...you have to get into a bloodbath to even get one. When an attractive guy pays attention to you, even if he's a jerk, bc there are so few nice guys, its tempting to indulge a little in the attention.

 

I don't agree with this. There are plenty of decent looking nice guys around. However, there are no perfect guys, either ugly or hot. The availability of nice guys that you perceive depends on where you're looking for them.

 

Also I just want to point out that while one spends a lot of energy obsessing over the attentions of a wannabe cheater, one is presumably not spending any energy looking for available nice guys. Redirect your energy and see if the results change.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...