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Trying to attempt NC over and over is making me insane


All I Ever Wanted Was to Love You
All I Ever Wanted Was to Love You

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NC is hard. I've attempted to do it over and over, over the past 1 and a half year but I keep failing. The longest I have gone without contact was 2 weeks.

 

My reasoning is basically, as follows: I love this person and spending time with this person is one of the greatest sources of my happiness at the moment. Why deprive myself of that interaction? Why do I deprive myself of that happiness.

 

I allow myself to be approached romantically by others. But if I am really honest with my myself, I would rather spend time with this particular person.

 

I do feel a great deal of pain that, in reality, my love and feelings are not returned. But again, why stop something that is pleasurable or meaningful to me?

 

I almost feel like something DRASTIC needs to happen so I may carry on NC. Recently, I've been fantasizing about moving out of to another country ,changing my phone number, and him cutting me completely out of his life by directly telling me that he does not ever want to spend time with me. EVER.

 

I feel so powerless.

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You need to move on. you can't go on like this. you are wasting you life. Eventually you wil move on then look back with regret that you wasted so much time. Can't you get one of your friends to delete all his contacts from you phone,facebook..etc Otherwise you should go see a professional who can help you. You have to remember lots of people have gone through the same thing and moved on.

 

What do you do for yourself? do you have hobbies or do sports? you need to fill your time with stuff that interests you and things you can focus on

 

can you get a friend to contact him and tell him to stop staying intouch with you. that way you get no replies

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The hardest step is the hardest but it will let you know that you CAN live without him. That is what NC is suppose to do. You can't properly move on when you have a twisted sense of connection with your ex still. Trust us in that you won't die and wither away!

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You have to balance short and long term gratification. If you continue to chase after him, then you get the short term 'fixes' like a drug whenever you see him and your heart flutters etc., but he just isn't yours and you don't get your long term goals met (someone who loves you and really wants you to be with him).

 

So you are seeking a high and a fix because you are addicted to him. But really, what exactly are you getting from him other than that high? He's not your boyfriend, and he has had plenty of time in which to make you his girlfriend and chooses not to.

 

You have to ask yourself some hard questions..

 

Will you be happy with all this time you wasted dandling after him if after years of doing this he suddenly marries someone else?

 

How much time are you willing to live on hope rather than a realistic boyfriend who is more than a fantasy?

 

How realistic is it that he will actually end up with you after all this time when he's not interested?

 

You need to live a full and happy life rather than clinging onto one person like a security blanket. The truth is, if he gets a girlfriend, he will no longer be your special person, and it will really break your heart. And if you go NC and he realizes he made a mistake and does want to be with you, then he will contact you and tell you he wants you as a girlfriend. Until he does that, you are better off finding a REAL boyfriend rather than simply a hopeful fantasy....

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