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I suspect she really did break up!


psychoanalytical

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This is a follow up from my previous post.

 

So I'm really into Emily and I've always felt the feeling was mutual. For what it's worth, 95% of the online "Does ur crush like you back" quizzes were affirmative (haha).

 

Except she has a boyfriend Dave, who's also my friend and roomate. So that's a no from my POV.

 

But their relationship was pretty shaky. When they came home last week, they were in this obvious fight and were stiff/not talking. Emily treated me ok though - tried to be helpful.

 

Then I texted Dave last night to see if he would get some groceries, and he said, "It's ok, I'm staying over at my m8s tonight", and I was like, "No way, he never stays over at Emily's".

 

Then tonight he brings Charlotte home - who I also know cos they have been hanging out more and more. But he never brings over anybody home except Emily. They click really well (I've hung out with them in the past too) and Charlotte seems to be really into him, and I'm happy for him because he's my friend and I want him to be happy.

 

But I'm really suspecting Emily is now single. How could I find out? And I hope she hadn't moved because she was talking about moving home a few weeks ago. I've always been reluctant to ask for her number cos I hardly see her without Dave. I could tactfully channel the topic of casual conversation with Dave towards Emily and ask whether she's move home/relationship status. And quietly sew some seeds in his head while I'm at it - "Charlotte is really nice etc". But for some reason I suspect she hasn't gone home and she's still here for another semester and she's broken up with him - cos she's into me, and I'm into her!

 

Haha.

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Ok, it's in the 'guy code' that you don't make a place for an ex without checking with the friend in the first place, so before doing anything make sure you speak to him. This is especially relevent as you live together, and a falling out could have majoy repercussions for the both of you.

 

But hang on, if I'm reading this right you're not even sure if she's now single? I really don't think it's your place to get involved with their relationship, and in fact it'd be rather underhand. Don't do this.

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Between Dave and Charlotte?

 

First thing I noticed was how different Dave and Charlotte were together c.f. Dave and Emily.

 

When he invited me to the battle of the bands ~1mth ago, she was there and they go to church together. She seemed really into him, hanging out with him and laughing at ALL his jokes. They even danced up a storm and Dave can't dance - so it may have been a little embarrasing for me, but they loved it. They just seem to be comfortable with each other. In truth she is a little different to Emily with Dave - more contempt. Both Dave and Charlotte are more outgoing in disposition so they laugh about little silly things together etc and it can be quite cute.

 

Where as Emily is more like me in personality. More shy, gives less away in person, more self-controlled, but underneath you can tell she's really determined and driven. I seem to understand her a lot better, and actually enjoy listening to her cos we think alike. We can talk about deeper things without getting on each others' nerves cos we agree on a particular outlook of life. Though the difference between me and Emily is that when stressed - she becomes stubborn where as I become more flexible - which would be complementary in a way.

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I considered that option. Though I don't want to be blunt about it or seem intrusive cos:

 

I get this feeling that he knew all along that something was going on between me and Emily - not at a physical or a tangible level cos I'm respectful towards their relationship too and I wouldn't want to compromise them for my own sake. But at an emotional level cos she just opens up to me naturally and consistently - really weird for me too cos I wouldn't necessarily expect girls to be gushing to me about themselves the first/second time I meet them - and then to do it more and more every time we see each other - and we're talking sometimes 2-3 weeks before I see her next. And this admittedly is the exception rather than the rule - at a personal level at least. So I suspect his guys' instincts kicked in pretty much the first or second time Emily and I met, though he had never been 100% sure because neither me nor Emily talk about it. In any case he started to stop bringing her over or help create situations where we would see each other after about the second time we met. So i'd hate to bring it up with him directly cos it would add fuel to the fire.

 

Speaking of which, I suspect he's directly asked her about me recently, cos when they came over last time, both of them were really tense and stiff, and Emily would look everywhere except at me whilst Dave was being really short with me. So somehow I tend to get the feeling that I shouldn't bring the subject of Emily up with him unless he brings it up himself - and he's not (I've tried really subtly).

 

And we're perfectly good friends otherwise - I mean, he's got another girl lined up, so I don't see why he should stay mad.

 

Where as I am really into Emily and would love to know what's happened between them.

 

Oh well.

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Yes (from my observations anyway). So I would be going through a transitional period at the moment cos i'm not really sure what's going on with Emily/Dave/Charlotte. The status quo is changing as we speak lol - cos they are joking in the lounge i can hear them hoho (before I went to bed they weren't even talking - this is the first time he brought her home).

 

But if my gut feelings are right, everything should become much easier once I have Emily's number, should Dave and Charlotte get together. In any case Emily probably needs a little while to sort out her feelings cos they went out for a good 1-2yrs. I just hope nobody had their feelings hurt throughout.

 

Here's hoping for the best

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I would be careful...even if she did like you, she may not want to date you because you're living with her ex-boyfriend! I just ended a relationship of almost two years, and doing *anything* that would involve my having to see my ex on a regular basis is out of the question for me. Especially if he were dating someone new.

 

The chance of there having been "no hurt feelings" is slim to none. Tread carefully!

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Proceed with caution. You don't know what is really going on with Charlotte..and you don't really know what is going on between Emily and Dave. Dave could be trying to get Emily jealous by being with Charlotte and Emily could be cut up about the split...if they are indeed split.

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*Update*

 

I saw Dave this afternoon and he was in a pretty good mood. Apparently Charlotte and he stayed up all night talking, then drove out of town to watch the sun-rise. Uh... yeah I think it sounds like green light for me already. I didn't ask him directly about Emily though - and I would doubt him volunteering that to me so I'll need to get around to it sometime this weekend lol.

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She's Not Texting Me Like She U...
She's Not Texting Me Like She Used To

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