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Sleeping with only one person your entire life.


ilovehim2009

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Well, long story short, my boyfriend was a 25-year-old virgin before he got together with me.. and I was not a virgin. I'm 22. I've had 3 sexual partners prior to him.

 

I know this might sound silly, but sometimes, in the back of my mind, I wonder if he will ever "freak out" or get sick of me because he's never had a chance to sleep around with other girls.. nothing to compare me to, you know?

 

I know it's probably just my insecurities talking. And he's really not done anything to make me worry so that's not the case. I am pretty attractive, and I know he is very attracted to me. And I am very good in bed, without getting too graphic, lol.

 

So guys, especially those who have only had one sexual partner so far.. could you see yourself being perfectly faithful for 70 years to the same woman without ever having tried out another woman?

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My boyfriend and I were both virgins when we started dating... we're young. I sometimes freak out and say that I would want to have more experience and all, but when I talk to him about this and I ask him how he feels he says that he doesn't care about that at all and that he would never be interested in anyone else, so it's not a big deal to him.

 

Overall, I think it depends on the guy.

Why don't you ask him?

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I was with my first gf for just over a year and tbh the biggest reason I wanted to break up with her was cause I wanted to sleep around... try other girls. It was a big thing for me but everyone's different, he might not care as much as I did.

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The best gauge of his current (and potential future) happiness comes from your boyfriend himself. How anyone else might feel is largely immaterial. He says he's happy. He says he does not care overmuch about this one factor. Is there some reason not to take him at his word? Is he usually honest with you? If the answer is 'no' and 'yes' (respectively), I see no cause for worry. Many men will prioritize love and happiness over the time-honoured sowing of one's wild oats - should they find a worthy woman. It seems, for him, you are. Kudos.

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Your boyfriend was 25 and lost his virginity to you...that says a lot about who he is..that he is not interested in sexual experience for the sake of sexual experience. I am sure he had his chances and he didn't take them up on the offer. Not everyone wants to have sex just for the sake of having sex and experience..some people truly want one person and only one person because they view sex as an intimate act which should only be with someone you care about. It is you with the problem, the insecurities, the focus on sex, sex, sex. You even talk about how good you are in bed as if that is the most important thing which will keep someone from straying. Your boyfriend is with you because he loves you, not because you are a sex queen. I think you should place less importance on sex and more importance on the love you two share and the connectedness you feel with each other.

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How can you say that when you know nothing about him? There are people in their 20's 30's, 40's etc that are still virgin cause they can't get laid not just cause they're waiting for someone they love... I've seen PLENTY of threads about people that no matter what they do they can't loose their virginity and a lot of them are older than him.

 

She has a valid reason to be worried cause, like I said earlier, the biggest reason I wanted to break up with my first ex was cause I wanted to experience other girls. I wanted to experience relationships and life as much as I could before I settle down and I'm sure there are a lot of other people who feel the same.

 

How does this make her very focused on sex? THIS IS A SEX BASED PROBLEM. And just cause she says she's good in bed doesn't mean that, that's the most important thing to her... Sex IS important in a relationship especially at their age so don't attack her for wanting to figure out a problem that's obviously important to her and would be to other people including myself.

 

Now, I'm not saying he is gonna want to experience other people but it's something you should keep your eye on cause the ONLY way you'll truly know is by giving it time.

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I don't think you should be insecure about this. ANY male has the potential to cheat, whether he is inexperienced or experienced. So why think that an inexperienced man is more likely to cheat? My friend, for example, is a virgin and he lives in US. He has been in a long term relationship(sex after they get married obviously). Well he has been exposed to a lot of temptation(he is quite a good looking guy) but he never disregards his relationship and he loves his gf more than anything else. Please don't bother yourself with these thoughts.

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I was 26 when I lost mine to my current GF. We have been together 2 years so far.

 

I don't really have that curiosity or desire to sleep with other women. That is because she meets all of my desires and needs in the bedroom, as I do hers. Plus, sex is only part of a relationship. While I could break up with her and sleep around, I may never find such a good relationship again.

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It sounds like ur feeling a little insecure.

 

I suspect if he's got on 25yrs without having sex, it probably doesn't concern him to the same extent which you are ATM.

 

I should hope that he is one of those guys who's just stoked to have a gf. He may be even thinking, "Gosh, I hope she doesn't compare me with the other guys she'd slept with". Sex for some may be no big deal compared to how the relationship is going. So I would say unless the relationship is going down hill, I wouldn't be concerned whether he is wondering how other girls are like in bed. Unless there is something seriously wrong with your sex-life, of course (to be blunt about it).

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Actually this is NOT a sex-based problem. She is MAKING it a problem because of her own insecurities...there is not problem...she has created a problem in her own mind. While YOU may have felt like you wanted to bang others before you settled down, not everyone feels that way. While I may not know him, neither do you know him, and you can't assume that just because you wanted to know what other vaginas and breasts felt like, that he might want to experience other vaginas and breasts. As for the ones who are looking to lose their viriginity and can't...as I have said, anyone can, they just go to a bar and pick up women...plenty of studs do that and don't care if they are shagging drunken women..but many of these virgins have values which is why they are virgins..because they choose not to have drunken shags with anyone just to get experience. As much as many of these virgins think they are virgins because nobody wants them, it really is because they are indeed looking for a more meaningful relationship than a drunken roll between the sheets..and meaningful relationships are harder to come by than sex for the sake of sex. Even if the person held out until 25 because they couldn't find anyone to have sex with, they are not going to suddenly be a woman magnet now that they have their first girlfriend.

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I understand where you're coming from, my boyfriend and I were both virgins and have been together for 3 1/2 years. I worry about it sometimes, I don't let it freak me out or take away from us; but like when we're fighting or not talking I wonder if he'll get bored of me.

You can't let it overtake you otherwise he will want someone else because you're being paranoid, if he loves you and wants to be with you and stay with you then he will.

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Well, I would not even date someone who was a virgin at 25. I know I am countering the advice above, but I prefer someone who has experienced sex and relationships, so that they know what they want and will not have gig (grass is greener) syndrome later on in the relationship.

 

You are only 22. Enjoy your relationship for what it is.

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I lost my virginity to my current boyfriend last year..he's slept with four women before me.

 

I fully plan on spending the rest of my life with him, he feels the same way about me. Sure, there's been a few [literally, a few] times that i've thought about what it would be like to sleep with another man..but honestly, I wouldn't change what I have for ANYTHING. When you love someone, you're perfectly content with what you have. If he loves you, he will keep you around and won't grow bored..believe me. =]

 

Don't worry about

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Well, I would not even date someone who was a virgin at 25. I know I am countering the advice above, but I prefer someone who has experienced sex and relationships, so that they know what they want and will not have gig (grass is greener) syndrome later on in the relationship.

 

You are only 22. Enjoy your relationship for what it is.

 

Virginity is not what gives GIGS..it is personality. If it was really down to having only had one partner, you wouldn't find very many posts on this forum about GIGS. Most of the people who have had GIGS have had numerous partners prior to the one that they just dumped to look for someone else. Sexual maturity is a function of the mind, not a function of the genitals. Many people who have been in multiple relationships still don't know what they want..if they did there wouldn't be years and years of posts on this forum.

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If he's happy, why would he end happiness? If your relationship ended, odds are it wasn't for the reason you're worried about.

 

In a relationship, if both sides keep each other happy, respect and love each other, are both selfless when tending to the other's needs, then ending it for only experiencing someone else seems pretty bogus to me.

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Since you are attractive and good in bed, there would be no reason for him to desire more. I'm sure he will continue being happy with you for the rest of your lives and if hes not, it's likely nothing to do with getting around to more women.

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I personally wouldn't want to sleep with multiple women. When me and My GF go down that road we will, But as long as our personalities are completely compatible I will be perfectly content with just her for the rest of my life. I am the type of guy who actually has self control when it comes to sex. And wants it to mean something. I have had multiple chances to get together with different girls and I always opted out because I knew it would never mean anything and therefore be inferior to when I find someone I truly like and have it be a meaningful experience. Jenna Jameson could tackle me naked and ask me to take her and I would actually refuse. How many guys can honestly say that? Who aren't like gay or anything I mean.

 

 

-Exec

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Jenna Jameson could tackle me naked and ask me to take her and I would actually refuse. How many guys can honestly say that? Who aren't like gay or anything I mean.

Probably only a small % of guys. Are you sure you have healthy testosterone levels?

 

As for the OP's question, it really depends on the guy, and we don't know much about him. If he was a virgin by choice prior to you, then the odds are better that he won't hunger for variety.

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Probably only a small % of guys. Are you sure you have healthy testosterone levels?

As for the OP's question, it really depends on the guy, and we don't know much about him. If he was a virgin by choice prior to you, then the odds are better that he won't hunger for variety.

 

It has nothing to do with healthy testosterone levels..it has to do with letting the brain rather than the genitals and hormones guide the actions. Refusing casual sex doesn't have to mean a person has no sex drive.

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It has nothing to do with healthy testosterone levels..it has to do with letting the brain rather than the genitals and hormones guide the actions. Refusing casual sex doesn't have to mean a person has no sex drive.

Refusing casual sex is one thing. Refusing a hot, nekkid pornstar who has just tackled a guy onto a bed is entirely another matter.

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If a hot naked porn star tackled me, I would refuse.

 

I could deffinatly see myself with one man, the right man, my whole life. I am very content with my boyfriend, and love our sex drive. I had slept with just one other before him, and I wont feel the itch.

 

He was a total virgin before me, but I don't see any reason why he would want to "explore" He's very loyal and loves me, and our sex. Plus he isn't that BIG on sex. He's more of a relationship as a whole kinda guy, sex doesn't interest him as much as it does me. Without the connection, it's nothing, also like me.

 

He likes it BECAUSE it's with me, he loves to make love with me. He would be fine without sex in general, so if he has it with me, he wouldnt want to expolore with anyone else.

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Refusing casual sex is one thing. Refusing a hot, nekkid pornstar who has just tackled a guy onto a bed is entirely another matter.

 

lol not for people with control, values, and respect for their partner. I won't lie and say it wouldn't be arousing, because it WOULD, but there's no way I'd ever willingly have sex with someone other than my girlfriend. If I did, it would show that I really don't care about what my girlfriend thinks, that I don't care about her in general, that I really only want sex, etc. It really just comes down to values. If you like sleeping around and abusing the trust of your partner, then go ahead. If you're one of the people that actually have some feelings for others than yourself, then you'd be able to say "No, get off of my nuts Jenna Jameson, I'm a one-woman kind of guy."

 

EDIT

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And besides, its kinda grody. She might have an STD. The porn business is not always careful.

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lol not for people with control, values, and respect for their partner. I won't lie and say it wouldn't be arousing, because it WOULD, but there's no way I'd ever willingly have sex with someone other than my girlfriend. If I did, it would show that I really don't care about what my girlfriend thinks, that I don't care about her in general, that I really only want sex, etc. It really just comes down to values. If you like sleeping around and abusing the trust of your partner, then go ahead. If you're one of the people that actually have some feelings for others than yourself, then you'd be able to say "No, get off of my nuts Jenna Jameson, I'm a one-woman kind of guy."

 

EDIT

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And besides, its kinda grody. She might have an STD. The porn business is not always careful.

It's mostly a moot point anyway, b/c, at least for me, porn stars have never jumped me. But I find it surprising that people are so confident that they would refuse in such a situation.

 

As for the STDs, yes, it's almost certain that she has certain STDs, but since we're speaking hypothetically, we can specify that our hypothetical hot and horny pornstar is STD-free.

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