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Zackattack1029
Dreaming of my ex-boyfriend hugging...
Dreaming of my ex-boyfriend hugging me

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Male 17.

I am currently very confused on what I should do next.

In August of last year I started going out with this girl(I was 16 she was 14) and it was good for about two months. After the second moth she wanted to break up with me for another guy. For some reason she wanted to get back together the very next day. So when we got back together we had a very good time up until this April of 2009. She wanted to break up with me because I was going to college and she didn't know if I was going to find somebody new. She also went on a band trip the previous week and I believe became very good friends with him. I didn't like the idea at all but I had no choice to accept it all. Two days after she broke up with me she invited me to her house where as soon as I got there she started making out with me. I had every reason to believe that she wanted to get back together. Wrong I was indeed, so a week later she saw one of my friends and hooked up with him after I told my friend to stay away from her. I had not realized that she sent pictures to him of herself naked. This became quite a shock to me because he was showing everyone the pictures of her. So I told her that my friend was doing this and I offered to give her my advice. So I went over to her house again and I told her what to do next and she agreed 100% So when I was about to leave she again... Started to make out with me, then called me a few hours later and we discussed getting back together but again... She did not want to. For the next two weeks we went without talking at all... Then she asked me if I wanted to see her. I gladly accepted it and then we went for a walk. During the walk we found a place behind and abandoned house and again... We started doing our thing again, which led me to believe that she wanted me back because later that night she said she missed me and that she loved me. Can you guess? FALSE feelings. The same exact thing happened once more about 3 weeks after. Until, my senior ball. Which I took my X girlfriend to, I don't know why I did but I wanted to. So I did, we had fun and by the end of the night sure enough she was saying she loved me and how much she missed me. So I talked about getting back together with me one last time. Which she dragged on for about a week. Note she would text me about 100 or more times a day when these episodes would come. She said she didn't want to come back, which hurt a lot that time almost like breaking up with me all over again. Then for about one month we hadn't talked, until June 26th. She was going down to florida and we started texting each other again. For about a weeks we talked until 3:00 AM in the morning sometimes later, with 2 hour phone calls and lots of text messages. So I finally see her this Monday, with no hopes of getting back with her but just because we both missed each other and wanted to see one another. After the night was over I felt pretty good, holding her and being with her felt really nice. Except when I woke up the next day I noticed that she said that she didn't want to see me consistently(ever again). I was dumbfounded by this. If she doesn't want a relationship I can agree with, but she doesn't even want to hook up with me? She said that it was because she doesn't really think of me as more then just a "talk based friend" which is total bull crap because she was going crazy when I was over at her house. I feel like she just completely used me for her own pleasures, then got rid of me as if I were nothing. Now she is ignoring my text messages, and is putting things on her Facebook and AIM status to make me jealous. Though they are not blunt enough for a normal person to understand. I know they are targeted right on me.

Please, your feedback... And what should I do!?

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This girl sounds pretty immature to me.

 

And just because you go over to her house, doesn't mean you have to give in to making out with her. If you set some limits and let her know that she cant have you (ie making out, holding each other) unless she is with you, she might be more likely to want a relationship. But by giving in, she knows she can get it every time without having to do any of the hard work needed to make a relationship work.

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A good remedy: Stop talking to her. People like that are not healthy to be around if they jerk you around like that such mixed signals.

 

You don't have to be mean to her. If you see her in public places and she tries to make conversation, say "hi" but keep your end of the conversation very vague and try to cut it short.

 

Don't make time for her anymore.

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yeah, pretty much.

 

she hasnt even had a chance to know what its like to miss you, cause you're always there to hook up with her whenever she wants. take that away from her and chances are she'll miss you and want you back alot more.

 

 

but are you sure you really want to be with a girl like this?! she's pulled this let's-hook-up-but-I'm-still-not-into-you-and-dont-want-to-date-you stunt like 5 times already!! Like you said, youre about ready to start college and youre gonna me a TON of new people. Do you really want to be tied down with this girl knowing that she could screw you over at any moment?

 

just something to think about.

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One Problem, she is currently seeing this other guy so I don't think she will miss me that much. And when she usually wants to hook up its because she just wants me to do some sexual things to her that the other guy isn't giving her. I mean its really hard because she is a good looking girl and she practically has a line of people just waiting for her. So whenever she gets hurt by one guy, there is always another guy for her to fall back on.

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this doesnt sound like the kind of girl who is ready for a real relationship. if she's gonna treat you like that and keep you around just for the sexual stuff, i would peace out of there so fast!!!! And with her history of changing her mind frequently, I would say just try to move on and save yourself from another heartbreak. Look to the future and realize that there are plenty of great girls out there who wont treat you like crap.

 

Is this the only girl you've ever been with? or have you dated other girls?

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trust me, its better that you didnt have sex with her. It would have made it even harder to get over her.

 

luckily, you're still young though! so enjoy being single, hang out with your friends, and sit back and watch as this girl goes from guy to guy, breaking heart after heart and realize how lucky you are to NOT be one of those!

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not always. you may think she has guys lining up to be with her, but if she keeps acting this way, word will get around that she's notorious for getting with a guy then leaving him shortly after and that line of guys wanting to be with her will get shorter and shorter!!

 

and another thing, the best way to get "revenge" is to show her that you dont need her anymore. Show her that you are totally happy with the way things are, even if youre not. go out, try to meet some new girls and show her that even though she broke youre heart, she didnt break you enough to stop you from having fun

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And what should I do!?

I think you should move on with your life and move on from this girl. She sounds way too confused about her life in general, like she has no idea which way she's headed. She has a lot of growing up to do and it's best you give her the time to do so. Call it quits once and for all. You're still very young yourself and yes, there are plenty of fish in the sea.

 

You don't need someone who messes with your head from one day to the next. Move on.

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